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Real pain

Double pain in my heart
The sad I feel tears me apart
From my our family I had to band my brother 
That would of killed our mother 
The operation didn't hurt this bad
Or make me as sad
Truth is my brother is a self confessed child molester 
Justifies it to this day
They wanted it he does say
I love my brother regardless try to be there
Let him know someone did care
Today he called
On his way says he
I couldn't let that be
Letting  a wolf loose 
From all our children he would be able to choose
I banned him from our life's
More than just the strifes
My little sisters her kids
Their children.
Would be wrong. 
Did not even take that long
Here I cry
Feeling like I'm going to die
Setting my soul free to fly
I know I did right
My soul hurts Tonight 
He says he will kill himself if I see it through. 
Thanks brother makes me that much more blue
Please ,,, just tore my heart open twice
Neither times has been nice
Trying to keep my heart from turning to ice
I just want a chance at this life that they have given to me 
I start to see 
what there really be 
when we was kids wasn't  daddy but really just you. 
Memories now of what was true. 
I don't know why 
I cry
I still love you with all my heart 
I fight  to keep myself from falling apart 
I go forward 
Towards 
You will not cheat me
From a future I wish to see
You tainted my soul
Thinking that is life's goal
I rise above
Thankful I can still feel love

Copyright © William P. Harris

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Book: Shattered Sighs