6/21/2017 9:35:07 PM
Topic:
Lake Cliffs of Erie
keith osborne
Posts: 30
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Standing on the edge of a cliff
toking a smooth fat spliff
waiting to catch sight of a skiff
Floating it's way on by
Watching the majestic girl soar
no longer a beast of lore
wish for increasingly more
She passes a look on the fly
Brown with white head and tail
power that will never fail
enchanting how she sets sail
Makes me start to cry
Bounding stag hidden by ivied hoods
sneaky 'lil squirrel dashing with his goods
amber kits darting through the boxwoods
Violet western sun in the sky
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6/21/2017 1:37:23 PM
Topic:
Hi there all! The name Jackie
Jackie Browne
Posts: 1
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This is new thing for me( to put my poems to be viewed!) and this site was recommended to me, so now i would welcome any kind of feedback that can help me to improve with this!
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6/20/2017 5:04:49 PM
Topic:
Posting pictures from my laptop
niall fulham
Posts: 3
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I would like too know as well ,,lol
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6/20/2017 3:47:40 PM
Topic:
LOVE IS HUMAN NATURE
niall fulham
Posts: 3
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Hi All , I have been around the block a few time nifty fifty lol , I have a poem called 'love' it will help  hugs
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6/20/2017 1:36:17 PM
Topic:
New Book
conley murray
Posts: 1
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Christian Poems
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6/20/2017 1:08:21 PM
Topic:
Hello Poetry Soup'ers. My name is Lesa.
Lesa Rodden
Posts: 2
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I found poetry soup a few years ago for my friend and fellow Poetry Soup'er, Connie Moore. I wanted her to have somewhere to put her amazing poems and show people how good they were. It wasn't until last fall that I started having this feeling of writing. So I did. And I wrote a number of different poems all within a few months. They just came to me. Now, I seem to be in a poetry "lull". Nothing new is coming to mind.
I have to warn everyone, a lot of my poems are based on my past experiences so they are a bit dark. Sorry. But it's the truth. I feel it was healing in some way to write it down and get it out.
Thank you for all your views and comments. I love Poetry Soup!
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6/20/2017 12:50:30 PM
Topic:
FAMILY MAN
Jerome Malenfant
Posts: 24
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Minor point: You have commas where you should have apostrophes;
don,t -> don't, haven,t -> haven't, didn,t -> didn't, I,ve -> I've.
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6/20/2017 12:06:07 PM
Topic:
Hello I am Ana
Benjamin Foss
Posts: 1
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Ana, I just joined myself but welcome. I'm Ben.
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6/20/2017 9:52:28 AM
Topic:
FAMILY MAN
lawrence strauss
Posts: 2
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You made me feel, biggttom61. To be able to reach someone like that is a gift. Thank you for sharing your gift with me. -Lawrence
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6/20/2017 3:19:29 AM
Topic:
Time by Robert Black
Robert Black
Posts: 1
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Time
It is not you I hate
It is time that has done me
Made me feel old when I was young
And look old when I feel young
Sure I chased you
And never found you
But you kept that spark alive
Maybe you lied
In the mirror
A million times
But it was the timing of time
In my mind
That did me
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6/20/2017 2:37:04 AM
Topic:
Hello I am Ana
PATRICIA CRESSWELL
Posts: 1
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I have been writing for more than twenty years. I live in a cabin in a forest by a large Bay and I love the solitude. Joey is my furry companion and boss. Just recently I started writing again after an extensive illness. I love words with a passion they are my wings.
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6/19/2017 8:09:29 PM
Topic:
Moron
Graphite Drug
Posts: 81
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Moron
What is wrong with that Holden?!
All he does is watch me scratch my bare chest,
cut my toe nails,
as he goes on about Jane or Jean or whatever her name is:
his damned girl crush he played checkers with.
What the hell has he been thinkin’,
dreamin’ about,
some young woman I barely made out with,
he couldn’t even write me a simple paper for class.
He wasn’t even in the room,
writing about some baseball glove
his emo brother covered with poetry.
That damned guy, Holden,
he’s too young to be jealous of boyhood crushes
and lookin’ at men who are not concerned
about his skinny, whining, pasty pud
goin’ on about giving women the time they want.
I’m sure what’s-her-name didn’t give a crap
about all her kings in the back row,
just like she didn’t give a crap
when I gave her Holden’s regards.
She was fun to be with.
We had fun in Banky’s car.
I just wish we could have spread out
and enjoyed ourselves more.
That’s why Banky bought that big old luxury tuna boat of a car.
Stupid Holden, goin’ on about his childish crush,
his voice breaking up and getting high,
I wanna punch him,
firm and easy on the shoulder.
I’ll keep swingin’,
keep making him act like a big baby
without any titty to put in his mouth.
Whoa!!!
That little fart!
He hit me on the side of my head!
There, you bastard!
Now bleed!
I can punch too!
Oh man.
He’s expelled.
He has nothing to lose.
What if he reports me to the principle
and they take him seriously.
All he does is call me moron;
moron, that’s all he says,
he won’t shut the hell up,
even after I clouted him good!
Now he just looks in the mirror,
wearing that stupid red hat,
with tears running down his blood covered face.
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If you are intrigued by this work read and review G. D. Master’s book,“Interpretations,” free in PDF format on SmashWords.com. Enter “gd master” or“interpretations” in the search bar of SmashWords to find it.
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6/19/2017 7:57:34 PM
Topic:
Sour-love Recipe
Graphite Drug
Posts: 81
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This is an interesting idea. Did you use a recipe and insert your own words, like verbs for verbs; or nouns for nouns? Maybe not. I think if a poet writes good sentences she/he can't go wrong. Here's how I read it:
Love, after all, is just a word.
Boiled, it can have feelings that cut like a sword.
Love can leave wounded reeling in insanity.
Etc. Etc. . .
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6/19/2017 7:46:32 PM
Topic:
I hope this wont make sense a year from now
Graphite Drug
Posts: 81
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Not sure if you're trying to rhyme or rap? Formal poems spell out "y-o-u" not "u". They also, for the most part, avoid rhyming within lines and at the end. Try some basic skills: write short lines that rhyme at the end only. If you write assertively these skills work well with rap.
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6/19/2017 7:40:04 PM
Topic:
Any comments are welcomed
Graphite Drug
Posts: 81
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You have a concept and a good first effort. The word you want in the first line is "consensus" not "census". You may not be thinking of meter, but you should. Your lines average about 8 syllables. I worked out four lines for you and they sound good:
Consensus was in and I lost.
Illusions had tricked me.
I’m stuck in their reality,
living a crazy fallacy.
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6/19/2017 4:30:48 PM
Topic:
Honest feedback is very appreciated.
Lingquipist III
Posts: 2
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Simply see the impossibly, monstrous monstrosity, of a task such as repenting.
Unrelenting spirit chants dispensing "The sin see",
within me, convincing me I'm,
Da Vinci. Redesigned.
I'm simply Divine, dividing the line between the walls the cretans mauled,
and feeling fine while stealing rhymes, stricken on-lookers look on appalled.
I'll intertwine with rhyme, as I vilify hidden behind, the combined mind of my pair of fine victors.
Whispers, whiskers, when heard, wit spurs, whisked cures of my wizards.
Which stirs? Which stirred? Witch stirred? Wit pure? Wiccars?
Bicker and befuddlement in a beaker, break the barrier my beseechers, berserkers, but which will be the speaker?
The pair that shocks themselves, a paradox, like a pair of docs worn on two hands.
Ambidextrous world, dialectic hurl, dyslexic swirl, hurdle to untwirl knotted curls of rotting pearls amidst the clotting ploy sinister boy, eclectic girl.
Three lance-a-lots later entranced in rotten costumed vapor, he who be-holds be-tween the layers Ascends and ensnares a most savoring flavor.
Unscaythe words!
Obscene tailored genius beauty in a cloak,
like "The Raven" by Poe.
Get the joke?
The ravings destined to evoke evolution as they spoke, "rest in peace to me? what a hoax!".
Nothing graven means don't paint me in a grave again no graveling I'm banging the gavel jury concludes it's time to unravel mysterious sin, hurry you two.
Most serious when my spirit I send through hoaxes curious bend for deliriums end.
Fear was once lent to the senses, since then been a spear on the side the dimension.
Sense then the scented lament of the demented intended pretension intent on dispersing unnerving unrelenting pretending.
This curse on the earth I'm mending lending pen wings to my pen pals, pent up penitence that penetrates the perp pending the penmanship, tighten the woah-mans grip.
Fret not Babylonia, Daddy's home for ya, only the bad he roams, the cast out domes, who've been stoned, two I love atop thrones.
Fret on Babylon, if you babble on, once I'm done dabbling in, your saddled in, and I'm gone.
Allow me to paint the patter of chitter chatter as was it rather to be. That is to say, backwardly.
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6/19/2017 2:26:01 PM
Topic:
Any comments are welcomed
Jerome Malenfant
Posts: 24
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I think a problem with this poem is that there is no development in it as you go from the first stanza to the third; the 2nd and 3rd stanzas say basically the same thing as the first, just using different metaphors. They don't give the reader any insight into the source of this pain.
Also, 'lost in a sea of despair' is sort of a cliche.
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6/19/2017 10:13:30 AM
Topic:
I hope this wont make sense a year from now
Marko Dolic
Posts: 1
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I grade days by traces of grace I get
To see the shapes of your face, maybe gaze my way
You feel like this world's a better place
And I'm afraid, that i might settle for the chase
On a road that knows no names, and holds no pain
Im just a lone wolf waiting for your hand to be tamed
And who to blame, 'cause the prey don't taste the same way
From that very same day that I said your name
And it's a d*mn shame that it's hard to find words
That'll compliment your curves
But courteous enough that they'd serve the right purpose
'cause u deserve a lot more than a sum of these verbs
I wanna give you the world, girl I'm certain
You changed the definition of whats perfect
And it breaks my heart to see u hurting
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6/18/2017 11:07:40 PM
Topic:
Seriously, I have no idea what I am doing
Arlan Salo
Posts: 3
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I am in a similar situation. I know what prose poetry is and iambic pentameter but that is about it. I'm not educated on the different forms poetry writing. I suppose I could recognize a haiku as well.
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6/18/2017 11:05:21 PM
Topic:
I am new and introducing myself
Arlan Salo
Posts: 3
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I recently joined also. Excited to be part of this community of poets and read their poems.
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