9/25/2017 10:06:38 PM
Topic:
Intro for James Moon(some guy in arizona)
James Moon
Posts: 1
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Hey everyone I'm James, I'm 24 and from Arizona. I wrote my first poem a couple of years ago and joined this website, and also allpoetry. I enjoyed it and kept writing a few more here and there. I felt the need to express myself creatively and articulate my thoughts, with them having a permanent place where others could read if they choose. I hope to read and comment on your poems!
And by the way, I like this community 100x better than allpoetry. This site is not a gimmick or filled with snobs, and no weird adult poetry. The first poem I submitted here was featured on front page of poetrysoup and it gave me confidence to try writing more. 
edited by cyniqe on 9/25/2017
edited by cyniqe on 9/26/2017
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9/25/2017 8:38:05 PM
Topic:
Looking for a ballad poem that is long enough...
Melody12234
Posts: 1
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I am looking for a school appropriate ballad type poem that is long enough to be about 5 to 7 minutes long. Does anyone know any interesting ones? Thank you!
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9/25/2017 3:29:32 PM
Topic:
Hello! I have no idea what I'm doing!
Kay Li Su
Posts: 1
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Hey! My name is Kay, I'm new here, and I've never really written poetry before. My blog here is mostly just my stream of thoughts (hence my username) that I spit out into words. They may not be great poems, but I enjoyed writing them. Please check them out and let me know what I can improve on! xoxo
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9/25/2017 6:47:52 AM
Topic:
Corection
ninawillaimss
Posts: 2
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9/25/2017 6:42:36 AM
Topic:
Need Help
Peter Kevin
Posts: 4
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6dollaressay: Read your poem more than one instances earlier than attempting to regulate it for deeper meanings. provide your self a chance to thoroughly and absolutely enjoy the poem. Skim over your poem’s name, which can also contain critical clues for understanding it.
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9/25/2017 3:14:16 AM
Topic:
Introduction to Craig Hawkins
Craig Hawkins
Posts: 1
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Hi all...
To start off, I have not been to university to study language or been a teacher of any sorts. I write poetry from my heart and sometimes my stomach;-).
I am a regular guy who works for the steel industry during the day and then in my spare time scribbles some notes on pieces of paper and hopefully it makes sense.
I am very new to putting my work out there for the world to see and would accept any advice. I have only been writing for the past six months, I have to say I really do enjoy the experience.
Feel free to have a look at my work and critique at will.
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9/24/2017 10:31:26 PM
Topic:
Advice for a beginner
Pailey Gordon
Posts: 1
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When I first heard this my heart stopped
I almost dropped
I didn't believe it
but at the same time
I had this feeling
but I've been healing since then
Some days you treated me like a queen
even if we were only teens.
But some days you would say words that hurt
and you would treat me like dirt
and throw me on the curb
but it didn't seem to disturb you
You loved me
or so I thought
even if we fought
but I was taught
to give second chances,
I gave too many of those
because I swore you would change
but you took a vange
home instead
You knew it was wrong
but I remained strong
because I knew you messed up
I hope you know you that.
Bringing that girl to bed
would be the end...
of us...
I heard the news from other then you
I felt like breaking into two
But I will move on,
I have came upon a new beginning,
that's how I know I'm winning.
And we both know who is losing..
you...
You are losing because you lost me
how is this??
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9/24/2017 1:05:37 AM
Topic:
Advice for a beginner
Michael Hayward
Posts: 2
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Looks like nobody wants to help or have an critique...
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9/23/2017 11:28:10 PM
Topic:
??? Thermite
aunna jones
Posts: 7
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Dreams are fading fast
Like the stars in my third eye
Whatever I was seeing
Was a mirage, either that,
or Ive gone blind
Such a lonely treacherous journey
where noone understands
Cares, or knows, or givez two shits
At the instability of mental state I'm in
Stakes are high
self esteem has drained slow
I use to dream about my lyrics
Being played out on the radio
I'm fixing to blow
a fucken gasket
Burn hotter then thermite
Won't need to bother with a casket
Searching for some type of relief
They say God can help
But thats just not my belief
Thoughts keep me up
Then keep me from sleep
"Drowning myself again,
In these thoughts to deep!"
Returning to the past
Thought I'd never come back
Looking for my future
Have me a post traumatic
Counter react?
Reaction,
An action,
Keep me re_packin?
I don't know I'm so lost,
Confusing my,
A matter of facts in
Really the fact is
No idea what I'm doing
All this venom makes me sick
But I can't quit spewin!
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9/23/2017 10:32:28 PM
Topic:
Emotional Literal Tomes - by - Bob Atkinson
Bob Atkinson
Posts: 215
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Emotional Literal Tomes
- by - Bob Atkinson
18 Stoic Faces
Emotion of Disgust
have written words before on
this subject some have blessed
how poetry fills the heart
with endless emotional progress
some give the subject passing grades
some give it no real thought
some think they know its content
see poetry as fully rotten
well, to some extent I do believe
that enough has been done
to give the genre a bad rap
with words of nonsense rung
rung from that tree of indecision
like a person in the park
who knows not which path to take
how to get home before the dark
they pen words of nonsense
taking the mantle for their name
of "poet" of the highest order
without good words to claim
not only are their words so frail
but their stories often walk
off in that useless direction
only they would think was smart
so, let's add to the "do's" of poetry
that requirement firmly instilled
emotional aspects must poetry contain
without which the story lies insincere
also, must refrains contain
a literal view of life
to point us toward our fate
or lay bare our inner strife
tomes must within these walls
sense passion of our being
stories telling those incidents
of which we feel have meaning
*****
edited by Bob_Atkinson on 9/23/2017
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9/23/2017 9:20:19 PM
Topic:
Accepting Critiques
Zaire Mendez
Posts: 2
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Didn't they tell you that growing up was going to be an injustice?
The picture we paint in our heads about life grows dim,
It's as though depression was in shipping for eighteen years and finally arrived at our doors,
The only person we have is our shadows,
And even in the darkest times it disappears and leave us,
If I had known this earlier, I would've stayed in my mother's womb,
Because even after the age of two the responsibility got too heavy,
And as each birthday rolled along, it was as if I was receiving a next box to hold on my back to hold me back,
And no, I'm not talking about gifts here,
I never felt like it was a gift being here,
And I'm happy for you if you beg to disagree,
I'm happy for you if you still dream,
And I'm happy for you if your life is a bed of roses,
But if you only walk in my room and happen to lie on my bed,
Then you'll realize that my garden wasn't given the same love and affection as yours,
My garden probably wasn't watered everyday,
My bed of roses refused to grow,
And all I'm stuck with are corpse flowers and weeds.
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9/23/2017 2:02:40 PM
Topic:
The Dream
Darren White
Posts: 19
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A small part, an example only:
"In this world, I was not dead nor alive
Just the feeling of loss from a place deep inside
There was a man, on a road, walking my way
tall and slim, hair peppered with gray
a dapper, distinguished, sorted type gent
He moved like a time piece as he came by and went "
My grey world,
dead nor alive,
lost in grief.
He passed just
like time did
old, and distinguished,
this man.
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9/23/2017 12:50:46 PM
Topic:
The Dream
key Keller
Posts: 18
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Hi Darren,
I'm really struggling to express the feeling vs telling it. Could you maybe show me an example in my poem where I could do that and how you would do it. I think if I can see you or someone do it I might better understand the concept. I would really like to improve this poem. I don't want to give up on it. Is it the rhyme that is off or the cadence? Your feedback is very valuable, obviously as the writer I can't see where I screwed up. Again, your help is much appreciated. Thanks
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9/23/2017 8:58:46 AM
Topic:
Help
Mike Strange
Posts: 1
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Recently came across the following "Her Kisses"in one of my great-grandmother 's autograph books.
Titled "Her Kisses" 12/1/1917 signed by looks like A(maybe O)r. E. Something ee. Can anyone identify the author?
A kiss when we meet in the morning
A kiss when we meet at night
A kiss when my heart is yearning
A kiss in the dark or light
A kiss when we sit on the sofa
A kiss when the hugging begins
Oh, she is so full of kisses
Full as is a paper (?) of pins
A kiss when full of sorrow
A kiss when fullof joy
There's nothing like those kisses
To me her own little boy
Thanks
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9/23/2017 8:32:40 AM
Topic:
LOVE IS HUMAN NATURE
BlackMen
Posts: 13
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I was taking a gander at some of your posts on this site and I imagine this site is truly informative! Keep setting up.. Read the Full Article
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9/23/2017 8:07:28 AM
Topic:
The Dream
key Keller
Posts: 18
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Hi Darren. I think I understand. I'm not sure I can make the reader feel what I felt but I can certainly try. I think that is what obviously sets a good poem apart from a great one. Thank you for you for your critique. I appreciate it. 
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9/23/2017 6:48:29 AM
Topic:
Hello Message
Susan Johnson
Posts: 1
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Hello everyone, how are you all? Do give my poems a try, and I will do the same. Hope I will have a good time aboard.
Thank you.
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9/23/2017 5:03:30 AM
Topic:
The Dream
Darren White
Posts: 19
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That must have been frightening, nightmarish. You ask for critique. You did your best to rhyme. But that forces you in a harness that feels forced. Sometimes it doesn't fit.
Try to make the poem without rhyme.
Also, you 'tell' what you feel. It would be more powerful if you could make us feel what's in your dream.
I hope I make myself clear
edited by dWite on 9/23/2017
edited by dWite on 9/23/2017
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9/23/2017 4:59:25 AM
Topic:
Wavedance..Id love your feedback
key Keller
Posts: 18
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Hi Caizleyl
I think the other reviewers have given you some good advice to clarify what you're tyring to express. I just wanted to say that I loved the idea that you were trying to express. Keep at it! Simplicity is always the best method in my opinion
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9/23/2017 12:17:33 AM
Topic:
The Dream
key Keller
Posts: 18
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I wrote this a few nights ago. Any feedback anyone is willing to give would be much appreciated. Thanks.
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