12/9/2019 4:23:07 PM
Topic:
PoetrySoup Frequently Asked Questions
DM Babbit
Posts: 4
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How do i export poems
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12/9/2019 7:28:22 AM
Topic:
Review it for me please?
Anagha Lakshmi
Posts: 1
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Under the towering bridge, beside the tulip garden, next to the curvy ridge, sat a soldier awaiting no one.
Merged with a melody of notes, when the rappling river hummed it's tune, this man felt remorese to which one could never be immune.
The silent breeze calmed the dimming sky, the weather turned plesently chilly and steadily peace seemed to multiply
With a lit cigar between his fingers and his head admits conflict, sat this man in his room, clouded by the early morning's mist.
Birds chirped near by, the river hummed along, the occasional ticking of the clock, was the only other sound.
“Dear maya”, he wrote, as he returned to his bunker somewhere remote
His mind wandered to her joyous smile, seperated as they were, by many a mile,
He penned what came to him instinctively, in a scrawly handwriting,”I miss you lovely”
He wrote about everything but not for long,he wanted to tell her he missed her singing their song.
He wrote about how his home did he miss,his bike, his school and his mother’s kiss
His brother’s dare, his sister’s care,
his eyes glittered as he put it all down,his dimpled cheeks twisted into a deep sad frown,
He wrote about how, of her everything reminded him, his eyes hesitantly filled to the brim,
The distance for a while did his heart tear, oh what he’d give up to, at her stare,
To his mind then came this tiny little creature, to the soldier his pup was the greatest gift of nature
Back home With his face looping, and on his feet four, stood this amazing someone, barking in wait at the door,
The empty wardrobe in the house, meant nothing to Tim, the man's shoes were what he held onto because they still smelt like him.
The pup seemed to look at the door, everytime it seemed to creek, waiting for the man whom he loved, to whom his eyes did speak.
When the fresh breeze blowing off the river, touched this man's frawning face, he realised there were tears coming off his eyes, thinking of the tiny heart who ran to him in chase.
Growing up with a companion, and then being torn apart, this story didn't seem fair, nothing of literature or art.
Will this tale of separation ever come to an end? Asked the man's gloomy heart, that longed for his best friend.
But close by there was a deafening sound,he knew had to leave, he was duty bound,
He ended his letter; promised to see them soon, in this world of internet, to him letters were still the only boon.
And after that boom that day, the phone at home almost never rang, Maya's melody was lost, she never again sang.
Even after years, she couldnt talk of her soldier without a deep sad frown,
In her nightmare she lost him; she woke up and he was still gone
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12/6/2019 3:06:35 AM
Topic:
Hi I'm Dianna.
Dianna Duplessie
Posts: 1
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My name is Dianna, I guess I started writing poetry at around 15 years old. I would write an occasional poem, nothing major. Then in the last maybe 10 years I started writing more. Poetry became my journal. All of my poems are my true thoughts and feelings about something in my life. I came on this site just to get opinions about my writing. I rally don't think I'm good. It's just the best way I know how to express my true feelings. Thank you all for letting me join.
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12/2/2019 8:11:00 AM
Topic:
I'm African and New to the soup family
Ugochukwu Sophia
Posts: 1
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I'm Sophia Ugochukwu I hail from The west African country Nigeria, I'm new here and would love to learn more about writing.
My passion for writing started at an early age but I paid little or no attention to it not until my bloomy days turned into gloomy ones, then I found light in my words. Meanwhile I hope to meet great and loving friends here as I walk my way to the top in the world of writing.
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11/29/2019 2:42:54 AM
Topic:
unristrcted criticism, please help me develop
Ahyia Amankwah
Posts: 2
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FLOWER OF LIFE
That seed from the sperm
Germinatesfrom the soil of the womb in its term
Tilltime is up, the seed remains calm and fragile
Thenurturing and maturing outburst it into stem and leaves so fragile
In innocenceand cry, springs the young to this unknown mystery
At thatpoint or even before, the choice is not in your hands in the disarray
In thisdisarray, if the young plant is favored, the leaves groom greener
With thestrong stem upheld by the sperm provider
Andfeeding from a root source of the womb bearer
Iffortunate, the youth now needs to make use of the serene condition to shootflower
Here theplant needs to put up much of effort to utilize the opportunity
Unfortunateplants are like plantain sucker planted by the wayside
Whichdue to wear and tear never prospers and dies in wretchedness
Or bareflowers that are soon blown away by the windy wayward winds
For itsfruits, forget it!
Fortunateare the plants that shut out flowers
Sobeautiful and colourful with the wish of lasting forever
Thatquestionable matter of long struggling to understand eternity
Oheternity our wishful partner but enemy with that shroud of darkness over you
Thebeauty of flower soon fades and browns if not blown away
Theflower with no beauty, sweet scent and exposer
No beewill fed it with pollens;
Thepollens that when received begins the success journey
Fadingand browning till it generates fruits
Likecaterpillar processing into a butterfly
Theflower has to shrink into a dark pupa
Then theflower flourishes into its fruit
Thefruit is what beholds the plant
Thebeauty of the flower is long gone
As thefruit surfaces
If thefruit is sour or bitter
With nobenefit of even quenching a thirst
Thebeauty and the resilience of the flower cannot be remembered
Theflower that bore good fruit will forever be remembered
And hereeternity becomes a partner indeed
For theflower is captured in the archives,
Nomatter how ugly the flower looked.
Flowerof life is the youthful stage
Life’syouthful beauty fades
If eventhe plant is not tarnished
Thefruit of the flower is what matters
Thefruit makes the flower become complete
In itsbeauty.
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11/27/2019 1:43:44 AM
Topic:
Critique request
Lizvet Ta
Posts: 1
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I really like this one. I always like visuals. This would make a good poem for an artist to illustrate, or maybe some digital art could fit it.  It also has rhythm. I like the immediacy of it and that it asks the reader to participate. Only the word shrunken here might be better as shrink.
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11/26/2019 1:22:28 PM
Topic:
PoetrySoup Frequently Asked Questions
DM Babbit
Posts: 4
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InspirednUneducate wrote:
how do I edit my post. When I copied and pasted it came with a million typos and ruins my poem
Go to Manage Poems, find the poem, click on edit and new screen will come up then you can change whatever youneed to do.
DMB
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11/24/2019 5:50:22 AM
Topic:
Lasciviousness
keith osborne
Posts: 51
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Lasciviousness
Serenity enters upon her hem
Toting attentions like needful puppies
Eager to submit every breath
Ponce bathes in her fountain
Halcyon depths purifying his soul
Isolated pristine - Qing porcelain
Simmering sensuality produces
Admired luster of a Kashmir sapphire
Genuflected I yearn to become
Obsequious of all necessities and
Desires of her bestowed repertoire
Delving into her aura coaxing
Effervescent essence pour over mine
Songstress serenade inner de Bergerac
Seductress seal mine fate!
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11/22/2019 5:44:54 PM
Topic:
Number of blog views
beto riginale
Posts: 5
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Is there some way to see how many people have read my blog? Like there is for poetry views.
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11/19/2019 12:18:42 PM
Topic:
How do I post my picture on my profile?
Robert Kinard
Posts: 1
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I would like to post a pic of myself on my profile, can someone help I'm kinda new here
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11/18/2019 10:30:55 PM
Topic:
Happy to be here!
Dave Whitmore
Posts: 1
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Hi all, I came across this site through a post on another poetry site and I really like it here. I have written several short stories and one full length novel, called Psychic Witness. Which is why I gave myself this name. The novel is currently stuck in editing hell. I have just started writing poetry so I only have a few poems to share for now. But I'm sure I will soon start adding to them. I'm looking forward to reading your poems and sharing more of mine. Have a great week, everyone!
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11/16/2019 3:49:54 PM
Topic:
AM I THE ONLY TEEN ON POETRY SOUP?
Brooklyn Cruz
Posts: 3
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I'm 17, almost 18. Hi
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11/15/2019 3:57:26 PM
Topic:
Allergic To Life
BONNIE Hollywood-Cutts
Posts: 6
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Totally get this one.
My life is one big rash emotionally when things go bad in my life the itch begins full force.
poetry and words are the only thing I am not allergic to. my health issues are crappy by all means but I'm still hanging on itchies and all.
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11/15/2019 2:48:34 PM
Topic:
Please critique - Self Loathing's Song
BONNIE Hollywood-Cutts
Posts: 6
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Sometimes our words aren't what some want to read. those are the people that need to move on to another page.
The way I see it is my poetry is for me and though I try different things and humor but my poetry is mostly my tears. I cant cry I haven't since 1997 so my poetry has become my comfort. No one else has to like it even though I'm sharing them and sometimes ask for someone to critique them I don't expect praises or public apporval for them.
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11/15/2019 2:42:44 PM
Topic:
Feedback Please?
BONNIE Hollywood-Cutts
Posts: 6
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I totally understand.
I have other poetry sites I'm part of as well as some of my own pages. so often neglect this one but should come in more and read . My emotions have kept me down. So I Wasn't coming into some of my sites. but writing a lot of poetry for my release.
i'll try to become more active there.
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11/15/2019 8:06:51 AM
Topic:
Feedback Please?
Victor Zen
Posts: 1
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I really like it! Keep going
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11/14/2019 1:58:40 PM
Topic:
Phoenix
Greg Hladky
Posts: 4
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Thanks, Jack, for taking another look. I didn't care much initially for the fourth line in stanza 5, but it started to grow on me. I hear what you were after with the final -ife rhyme. In the end, though, with what seems like a thousand re-writes and a submission deadline looming, I went with my initial instinct and reverted to a modified version of stanza 6. By adding some commas I hope it slows the reader down and brings some closure to the poem. Perfection is elusive! Besides, how exactly does one describe a mental state with a metaphor such as "the dim lit moor"?
Phoenix
Oh banish from the dim lit moor
barren windswept cold and more
the untamed nagging beast and boor
Oh darkened sky above the fire
smoke rising from the pricey pyre
signals where my hopes retire
Oh twisted wooden frame remains
wreckage of some airborne gains
lock my airfield gate in chains
Oh welcome summer shifts of breeze
warmer winds from warmer seas
shafts of sun to ashes tease
Oh see it rise, oh spark of life
bird of wonder born of strife
free to wander, free to fly!
Oh transformation of the moor,
dappled by the sun and more,
no untamed beast, no nagging boor.
(Why does the editor keep adding spaces between my lines?)
edited by Graeme Fordun on 11/14/2019
edited by Graeme Fordun on 11/14/2019
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11/14/2019 11:33:51 AM
Topic:
PoetrySoup Frequently Asked Questions
DM Babbit
Posts: 4
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Searching poems by topic, can I print out only those?
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11/12/2019 10:07:53 PM
Topic:
Phoenix
Jack Webster
Posts: 194
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It does have a different feel. Which do you like more?
You could also experiment with keeping the last stanza and making a fourth line with an -oor rhyme.
The rewrite does capture the finished feeling by having a fourth line, but going back to your original version, I actually kind of like the transition to the open vowel being followed by a line break. Gives the flight some space maybe. I think maybe your original instinct for stanza 5 is better.
But do you hear the difference with the added fourth line, the sense of completeness? It’s not a must have, necessarily, but if you want to include it, it’s just a matter of deciding if it sounds better in stanza 5 or 6
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11/11/2019 1:57:47 PM
Topic:
Phoenix
Greg Hladky
Posts: 4
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Here's a re-write of the ending with a couple other minor revisions. Does this ending sound better to the ear?
Phoenix
Oh banish from the dim lit moor
barren windswept cold and more
the untamed nagging beast and boor
Oh darkened sky above the fire
smoke rising from the pricey pyre
signals where air hopes retire
Oh twisted wooden frame remains
wreckage of some airborne gains
lock down my airfield gate in chains
Oh welcome summer shifts of breeze
Warmer winds from warmer seas
shafts of sun to ashes tease
Oh see it rise, oh spark of life
bird of wonder born of strife
free to wander, free to fly!
Oh hear the band, oh hear the happy fife.
edited by Graeme Fordun on 11/11/2019
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