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Heartbroken Again and Again
In my life, this old heart of mine has been
pierced and broken into pieces many
times since I was six, when my grandmother
told me that my mother, I called Mama
gave me to her sister, I called Mommy
to prepare me for my parents and two
brothers were coming to live with us.
I was heartbroken how my mother
treated me, distant, no affection, lack
of support or none at all, but made
or exploited me to take care of my
siblings for she had six more children.
I was heartbroken again when my
Mommy, who loved, cared and nurtured
me got married and left to join her
husband in Guam, when I was fourteen.
Those two heartbreaks in my middle childhood
and middle adolescence cannot
compare to the extreme heartbreak when I
left my son at age three and my daughter
at age two to come to America
to give them a better life and future.
As a mother at twenty two, I felt
deep sadness and pain months before I left
for I knew deep in my heart the pangs, the
heartaches of a child given away
and left in someone’s care or custody.
Although I was not giving my children
away or abandoning them and
fully knowing that leaving them was
temporary, not knowing when we
could be together was heartbreaking.
The anguish of thinking of not being
with them for years was devastating.
The pain of uncertainty shattered
my heart and prolonged my heartbreak.
Many more heartbreaks followed before
and after they came and joined me thirty
eight years ago for they are part of life.
Yes, heartbroken again and again!
Copyright ©
Marilene Evans
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