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Self-Conscious

my mom would always tell me
imagine a string behind your back
pulling you up,
so now when i slouch i think of her
and all she’s told me ive ignored

when i was young and growing up
my brother would always say
when i looked gay
so when i saw an attractive guy
id pray and say its just a phase

my first lover told me 
i stabbed her in the back
i held the knife as we got close
and waited to attack
and when i broke up
you said, ill never love again
so now before i look for more
i second guess my ends

Copyright © Amber Miller

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Book: Reflection on the Important Things