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Church on Saturday

I read a notice in the paper about a free Church dinner
“I’m going, this will be a winner”
Saturday morning I sped out to eat
Thinking this is really a big treat.

I walked thru the big arch doors
Heard an organ playing on the first floor
“Gee that’s nice, music while you dine
This had to be just something real fine.

So many people sitting in rows
Ends of the seats all taped with bows
This may be a long wait to eat I thought
I remembered there were no tickets to be bought.

A young lady approached me with a smile
I asked if this was going to take awhile. 
Long table with candles at the front of the church
But I didn’t see any food during my search. 

A man up front, a waiter I thought to be, told me to come forward
With all the people still waiting, I felt really awkward
The organ played, I thought now I will get my meal
Everyone stood up as the lady came down, “my gosh this is unreal’

The waiter asked me ‘do you take her’
Couldn’t well hear, I was in a blur,
Thought he said “do I want take out”
‘Yes he does’ a man did shout.

The waiter then asked me for the ring
Didn’t  know that was something to bring.
Then I notice she carried a pale blue bouquet
I then realized, a shock hit me---- ‘mayday”  “mayday’

The waiter exclaimed, ‘you may now kiss your wife
“She’s now married to you for life”, 
The wedding march sounded, what did I say?
I know now never to go to church on Saturday,

Copyright © douglas pederson