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Divorce

Do you remember how it felt? 
Do you know what it feels like to feel worthless, not enough, to question love? 
Do you remember not knowing how love was supposed to look because what you thought was love was completely shattered. 
No more two in one bed, no more two in one place. 
No more comfort from you when I relied on it, to keep my anxiousness at bay. 

The slyness, the secrets that it took to shatter so many hearts.  
Now we are stuck picking up the shattered hearts both of you have broken.  
Now we are stuck dealing with the brunt of his anger and misery. 
We were too young to walk alone and too young to care for what was left behind, yet we picked up the pieces of what you both destroyed. 

It was so much to hold. The anger, the sadness, and hurt that struck harder than a punch to the face. 

Consoling them even though you were too broken to even sleep. The weight of telling us was so much to bear, yet you continued anyway, signing the papers without a second thought, moving on without a care. 

Trying to drink away the sadness of what used to be, letting myself be used to try to hurt you and to numb the pain of being in my own head, little did I know it didn’t hurt you, it just hurt me.

Copyright © Maria Mastay

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