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The things I want to tell you

There are so many things that I want to tell you...
I wanna tell you I'm getting back the feeling of security.
I wanna tell you that i'm happy,
I wanna tell you I've been moving on and thinking of you less,
But you already moved on and you’re happy.
And how fast you moved on hurt me more than you will know,
But  it makes me happy that you did it first
And that is why I never texted you to tell you how I missed you,
Because you're happy.
I know the thought of me probably never pops up in your mind 
And I've accepted that now.
I know you don't believe me but,
I've been so grateful that you are happy with her.
At first I wished that was us but now I am glad she could love you in the way i never could.
I wanna tell you all that I've done since we have parted.
I know you have big plans for your life,
And I used to think that I would be there to help you accomplish them.
But I guess I will watch from a distance and cheer you on from afar.
I wanna tell you that you've changed me for the better,
I cry a little less and smile a little more.
And you may not understand why,
But it's going to take me some time to forgive you.
Because before I can do that, 
Before I can just forgive and forget,
I must learn to forgive myself for the mistakes I made.
I wanna tell you that someday in the far off future we could be friends,
But I have a lot of growing up to do and I can't be anything more than a stranger that you once knew.
I wanna tell you i have learned to love you from afar and move on from us,
Move on to the next chapter in my life.

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