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Not Feeling Myself Today
I'm not feeling myself today—
I see a sea of selfies.
adrift in a mirror maze,
floating as reflections that are lost
in a hall of posed intentions.
Each face is a practiced smile.
a seance of polished poses,
looped like circling carousel horses,
whispering secrets they pretend are mine.
I forge new versions of myself daily,
crafted to echo what strangers crave,
me to be, or to become, not what I truly am,
hiding in the hollow eye sockets of the masks.
As for me, I feel more like I'm becoming.
A be, yet to be; a question still unraveling.
I'm a stem cell of identity.
Not yet fixed, not yet become,
with a fluid potential to be everything,
or just a little bit of nothing,
all in the same breath.
My shadow lingers behind me.
Faithful, yet mute, and blind—
unable to speak or swim,
or survive the spotlight’s glare.
It hides my darker inner self from me.
That none of my selfie reflections,
in the mirrors ever want to see.
Copyright ©
John Anderson
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