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Are you okay?
“Are you okay?” They ask me as my grandfather gets ripped from his bed.
“Are you okay?” They ask me as i acfively watched my grandfather die.
“Are you okay?” They ask me after seeing tears streaming down my face.
“Are you okay?”
“Am i okay?”
What even is “okay”. What do i have to feel to be “okay”.
This question leaves no room for spiralling, no room for emotion. Just a simple and quick, yes or no. When someone asks you “are you okay?” Do they even care. Or is that just the default question. You know, just to make sure that im not going insane.
Theres a distinctive difference between “are you okay?” And “how are you?”.
“Are you okay?” caps you at a simple answer. You don’t get to choose wether you want to say more. You don’t get to show the world how youre breaking inside. When someone asks you “are you okay?” They don’t really mean it. They don’t have to prepare themselves for the answer that you may really want to give because they know that youll be beating yourself up trying to choose. Should i be honest and say no? Or should i help them out by saying yeah? When you do tell them no, they stand there stunned. Making you feel guilty because of your honesty. Why should i feel guilty for answering a question the way it wasnt expected? Why should i feel guilty when im the one being pitied?
However, “how are you?” Leaves room for emotion.
“How am i??” How can i be. My whole world feels like its just come crushing down suddenly. I am heart broken, i am lost, i dont know what to do with my life. But you still ask me “are you okay?” knowing exactly the situation ive been forced into.
How am i even meant to feel? I show too much emotion and im crazy, i show slight emotion and im inconsiderate. How do i know where the in between line is?
So, do you still want to know if im “okay”? Nobody on this earth is “okay”.
Copyright ©
Lulu Enechi
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