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Much-Desired Change

Change isn’t my favorite friend
But, it will help me out in the end
Strange how time flies over here
And still, I am alive without a fear

I desire change in my life nowadays
I am on fire and this strife has a way
To get into my skin and it hurts in many ways
I am in my empathetic empire today

Tell me you love me the way I am
I am in my shell as you can see right now
Spell out my name upon your heart, my darling lamb
I am in this hell as you can clearly see somehow

I desire change...
It’s so strange...
How much I want to be like you
How much I would like to be true
I desire change...
It’s so strange...
How much I appreciate someone like you
How much it means to me to see you smile like you do

Low self-esteem
Makes me want to scream
I must be dreaming...
I see others beaming...
I’m living a dream, a lovely dream
Yet a nightmare in disguise...in disguise...
Your love is like coffee and cream
Fell in love with so many girls and guys...

Bipolar and bisexual...
I deal with this dual...
In my brain of insanity and pure vanity
Childlike happiness and its challenges change me completely
Childhood challenges and its chores change me dramatically
I deal with this cruel...
Feeling of loving you...

I desire change
To straighten me up
To man me up again...
I desire change
To straighten me up
To uncurse me, miracle weaver
I’m still a believer, 
I’m sure...
Be my cure
Again, where have you been?
Where have you been?
You changed.
It’s strange that I’m deranged
You’re my everyday daydreamer

Fallen in love with the puppet on a string
The devil in my mind tells me otherwise
Calling your name, my love darling
But you ignore me and everything
Don’t seek me - I’m not wise...it’s all lies...
Am I foolish or smart in His eyes?

Bronze diamond of mine,
Friend of mine...you’re giving me an alarming sign...
A sign of leaving me behind
I was so blind...so blind...don’t mind me, being blind...

You left me to change on my own
All alone in this world of empty woe
You stole from me this heart of gold
You mold me into this piece of worthlessness untold
What about you set me free though?
You left me to strangle myself in strange satisfaction so bold...
The rest of me is an unanswered phone

Strange how you and I change oh so substantially
I must be brave and rise from my ashes vigorously
Change isn’t my favorite friend
But, it will help me out in the end

Copyright © J.W. Earnings

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