Do Not Swear Around My Parents
It started early for me - using words sailors are supposed to know
My parents had no idea where I got them.
I figured it was my last lifetime
When I was a pirate.
I could cuss with gusto at an early age.
Dhraammit! I would yell when I tried to walk and fell on my knees.
What did she say? My parents asked each other,
hoping it was not what it was.
I got my mouth washed out with a bar of Ivory soap
by the time I was four and was using these words:
SLURP! SMARL! MACH! WHOOOP! CHICAKE
Chicake meant cat, but they thought it meant something else.
They were the parents, and in charge of the soap
So gurgle, gurgle, spit, spit, gurgle, gurle, choke, choke.
I rapidly learned to not swear around my parents
However, I was quite selective in my friend-choosing.
I did not surround myself with the super religious
Or the super judgmental, which were often the same actually.
I surrounded myself with other reincarnated pirates like me.
Dhrammit, it’s not my turn to swab the deck! No swhit?