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Do Not Swear Around My Parents

It started early for me - using words sailors are supposed to know
My parents had no idea where I got them.
I figured it was my last lifetime 
When I was a pirate.

I could cuss with gusto at an early age.
Dhraammit! I would yell when I tried to walk and fell on my knees.
What did she say? My parents asked each other, 
hoping it was not what it was.

I got my mouth washed out with a bar of Ivory soap 
by the time I was four and was using these words:
SLURP! SMARL! MACH! WHOOOP! CHICAKE
Chicake meant cat, but they thought it meant something else.

They were the parents, and in charge of the soap
So gurgle, gurgle, spit, spit, gurgle, gurle, choke, choke.
I rapidly learned to not swear around my parents
However, I was quite selective in my friend-choosing.

I did not surround myself with the super religious 
Or the super judgmental, which were often the same actually.
I surrounded myself with other reincarnated pirates like me.
Dhrammit, it’s not my turn to swab the deck! No swhit? 

Copyright © Caren Krutsinger

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