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My Future Fate

I keep on observing couples pass me by oh so merrily,
Getting me all perked up, but at the same time, a bit of jealousy
I am deserving of no one and I know you'd disagree
Getting me slightly upset because I can't find love immediately

I leap in joy when I see marriage right before my eyes,
Working out for the better - a relationship between girls and guys
I am just a boy who longs for a girl by his side impatiently,
Giving me a million more memories of miserable loneliness I recall suddenly

I have been wanting a woman in my life…
Gradually, pushing my way out of strife…
I am absolutely grateful for His love from high above
It's all I think of come to think of it, my darling dove

Can't deny that I feel like ripping apart my envious soul…
Instead, I want to be so joyous and glad for them as a whole
Well, good for you for finding that loved one for an eternity and beyond
But, good for me for finding God's love - a grand find and a beautiful bond

I don't know why I am jealous still
When I should be doing His Will
Life is like paying a gigantic bill,
So I'm getting my thrill and a Shirley Temple fill…

Then, I'm taking my pills with skill
That unconditionally keeps me sane…love is still on my brain and in my heart's lane
Place me upon His sunny Windowsill
So, refrain the drizzling rain from pouring upon me and push it down the blasted drain

I wish I was a millionaire that everyone looks upon or frowns upon
I wish I was yours and will always remain that way till the break of dawn
But, you're gone with another man…
So, let me find mine someday and do what I can…

Because I'm sick of the temporary satisfaction,
Breaking my hopeless and hopeful heart from the start
Be the flame to my wick and be my distraction…
I don't want to waking up without you or I'll fall apart

Everything and everyone fades…
Everyone has their auras and shades
That don't exactly match my own
So, I sit here, writing on my phone

Get the hint - I want a tint of your loving 
Your peppermint delight of passionate bliss
Is also what I need...I am tired of roving
Your hue of blue brings me far from sadness

My future fate is what I am waiting for earnestly
Humiliated by hatred and I pray for love to set me free
Rescue me from a bittersweet, frivelous envy
Resilient and zealous - that's what I really long to be…

Fretful, yet impetuous…
Regretful and jealous…
Feeling slightly delirious…
These emotions coursing isn't hilarious

Don't scoff at me thoughtlessly…
Don't laugh at me heartlessly…
I am waiting here pretty wistfully…
Don't jeer at me relentlessly...

I keep on observing people in general…
Accepting everyone in pure gladness in heart…
Xoxo to the feelings of resentment, 
For it needs love as well as adoration to the core with graceful art

I keep on yearning for a youthful funeral
Because I must be mature enough to accept my fate and my future, 
Whether I be alone or together with someone…
Whether I fall into place or shatter apart

Because I'm sick of the temporary satisfaction,
Breaking my hopeless and hopeful heart from the start
Be the flame to my wick and be my distraction…
I don't want to waking up without you or I'll fall apart (much like my future fate from the start - wait, take heart!)

Copyright © J.W. Earnings

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