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Shlurp - Nursery Rhyme - Kids Story

[In UK English, Bath sounds like Barf not Baff, Laugh is Larf, not Laff etc. Apologies if the rhyme fails in other locales]

Don’t pull the plug out when you’re sitting in the bath
If you do the devil’s imps are gonna have a laugh
You'll be sucked down the plughole and you’ll squeeze around the bend
And you’ll be in the hot place when you get to journey’s end

Don’t pull the plug out when you’re sitting in the bath
Whether you’re a school kid or the navy’s chief of staff
Beneath the soapy water with that plughole looking wider
You see a leg, then three, then six, a massive hairy spider 

So when you're sitting in the bath, please do not pull the plug
That tiny little whirlpool’s gonna make you go glue glug
If it grabs your biggest toe and yet you pull it free
That big rat on the end of it is having tootsie tea

So if you’ve pulled the plug out and got sucked out of the bath
You’ll need to grab some flotsam to construct yourself a raft
They empty all the sewers out into the seven seas
The message in that bottle reads ‘did you wash your knees?’

And then it says, I see you pulled the plug out when you shouldn’t
I tried to pop it back in but the danger meant I couldn’t 
You might think going down the plug hole would be quite a lark
But in the bath (and please don’t laugh) we’ve got a great white shark.

14 April 2021
Contest: Nursery Rhyme (or kids story) 4
Sponsor: Eve Roper

Copyright © Terry Flood