IN SILENCE
Not sure when it started at 6 staying
out of a brutally violent household
taking to the unforgiving streets.
The streets became my teacher and
family albeit dangerous life lessons
learned from a merciless source.
Spiritual and corporal sorrow from father’s
beatings, his cruel degradation too much to
bear, as everyone stood by watching me bleed.
At 13, befriending teens from troubled homes, drugs
numbing the pain, leading to ingestion to dangerous
narcotics, a perilous escape, always got away.
Running the streets with pretty young broken girls;
Waving down guy’s cars, thrill seeking, I guess,
our risky behaviors always abetting trouble.
Working excessive overtime as legal secretary on
subways late nights, sexually assaulted, threats
shouted by strangers, incessant danger lingers.
Hanging out in nightclubs, as a melancholic outcast
dating depraved men with no regard for human life,
defeated, unable to break free, bound by fear.
Running like a wounded animal, steel trap rapt around me
as I bleed out, while others transgress moral law by
feverishly striking me down; an already wounded soul.
Years of starving myself, must stay pretty to
Keep up façade for the ruthlessly judgmental.
Never intentionally, but perhaps subconsciously
continuing in this path of inevitable destruction.
Today, realizing my son needs me more than ever, as he
suffers anguish from life’s severity against the meek,
imploring God save me so I can be his ardent advocate.
I plead to GOD for protection of my soft-hearted son,
when I leave this tortured life that devastated my
spirit. I pray for mercy In Silence!
Copyright ©
Diane Perna
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