Deprived Of Your Love
Glib rhetoric concerned with striking independence may seem frivolous,
nuanced rational quite often a typical traumatic casualty,
the once interminable interdependent passionate zeal disintegrating in rapid spasms,
a longing sated and mutually embraced by two compatible persons now collapsed,
indivisibility transformed or transforming into invisibility and the direction sadly inevitable,
aftermath of intensity level shock to pitiless essence,
recovery initial or eventual appearing an amorphous transit flight hazy prospect,
I commence to respond in a measured sequence of blurred murmur throat strains,
unsavoury heartless happenstance without a ground solid footing left in abeyance,
physical decomposition thoughts enclosing terrified spirit comprehensible to the objective,
whilst delving into that majestic notion of in deep personal acceptance in advances moiety,
blissful acceptance of the self should be that
awe inspiring anchor against rejection,
perforce I shall embrace the concept commonly agreed as inside equilibrium,
meaningful existence including attachment has stout though not inflexible boundary in its echelon,
reckless are they who are so foolhardy as to equate independence with aloofness,
the truly self-sustaining are obligated to emphasise tender interaction as preeminent priority,
subtle advocate of reliance never so myopic as to belittle human companionship as gutless,
a sign of wanton risible fragility is in another galaxy for integrated insightful persona,
but digressing from this awful universal topic which afflicts and impacts virtually everyone,
it has to be attended to because ultimately delayed reactions are derailed reactions
one can manifest as I was sorely tempted to engage in flight,
drown my enormously intense loss even in a managed demented degree,
in massive undertakings of the mind that brazenly blotted out the stark realism of life,
catastrophe would not quite be an overstatement but a cunning close match nevertheless,
fantastic splashes involving a race to worldly attainment to steer me away from,
a relationship pang that haunts and taunts because abrupt rupture,
has that lack of diplomatic exit which though desired is frequently elusive,
the avenues for avoidance when confronted by a loving partner and disappearance,
abound in quite copious amounts which in itself is alluring beyond resistance,
but early and later life parental nurturing imparted towering survival instinct whilst not callous,
I become instead despite my circumstance that stoic person resolute,
never viewing myself as infinitely damned or without value,
in sequence of acknowledging steps so obviously requisite for recovery,
the healing period earnestly is shaped by an evolved dictate unfolding,
I assume immediate responsible behaviour patterns apt and intuition guide genuine,
there is life enhancing liberation and authentic freedom to be attained,
by transforming the confident person I once perceived to be impregnable perhaps,
into a robust champion of that remedial renewable alternative attachment,
with optimism as sanctioned spur whilst eschewing blind rush or blind quest on foot,
of frank admittance that an incandescent iridescent chapter will emerge with fresh yearning in its core,
let sumptuous shades etched in golden columns stretch the recovering brain,
which at this transcending tower block moment is my Appalachian type, saviour on system surge sparkling invention programme anew and instantaneous,
I reaffirm a devilishly distinct possibility of reconciliation with that peerless partner,
although some practical assessment in continual strategy should be somewhat wary,
of that once enchanting angel adjusting and adapting to shedding repulsive behaviour,
what I have turned into is an ironically different species with steely agenda,
but not hardened or brutalised in even the most miniature insignificant insignificant manner,
desertion by a loved one and its attendant hardship should never debilitate that one aspect,
those several aspects which will ultimately ensure and enlighten one’s capacity,
the torrid totality extant which has been thrust wickedly upon one such as I ,
has with a driven deft daring irony conspired concurrently to inculcate,
a personality betterment that could not have been foreseen even with pain riven sequence beckoning,
those incipient visual pointers to decline or plummet for the observant,
though retrospect is that pointless facile exercise whose upshot quite inane and risible,
However, I’d be playing the most contrived crooked game which in itself is not feasible
in this instance,
if I didn’t resort to the sunshine stream sense of august awesomeness,
that once was
epitomised by endearing joint odyssey that zealous zenith defiant prominence,
but stark truthfulness and wretched desperation has ultimately cultivated as is its wont,
I’ll never quite be that enamoured romantic suitor formerly until every vestige of my loss has been cleansed
Copyright ©
Howard Kerr
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