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I kid you not dear reader

I kid you not dear reader...

and a lesson about pi (p) to boot
whether or not you give a hoot
and thee never foresaw
that above identified representation
would be incorporated
with poetry until yours truly
came into the scene,
but similar to the importance of pi (p)
thee my cannot escape
the omnipresent application
of valuable tidbit
unless of course we make a deal, 
whereat you fork over so much loot,
but knowing that thee author of these words 
will NOT be writhing in cognitive dissonance,
as he claims to do one action, 
but willy nilly does another
just like impossible mission
to escape the notion of square root,
WHAT, who do you think you might be kidding,
and pass up a golden opportunity 
to wreak havoc 
within noggin of anonymous sufferer
who will NOT be radical
and expound with gumption
upon the v symbol,
(neither fat nor slim chance
yours truly – me will let thee
off the hook without eating my words,
especially feeling thee 
squirming within mine grasp)
used to denote square root or nth roots,
whereby square root a number
that, when multiplied by itself,
produces a given number
illustrated by following example,
whereat the square root of 9 equals 3
because 3 multiplied
by itself (3 x 3) equals 9,
and square root operation
the inverse of squaring a number.

Not a single person "discovered" pi;
rather, the mathematical constant p (pi)
recognized and approximated independently
by mathematicians across different cultures
and time periods
from ancient Greeks,
including Archimedes,
who developed sophisticated geometrical methods
to approximate pi's value,
characterized as essential for practical
and theoretical applications, whereas
later mathematicians,
such as the Chinese scholar Zu Chongzhi,
built upon these methods
to achieve even greater accuracy.

Once again for the umpteenth time
like an awful nightmare
recurring like non-repeating decimal
such as pi (p) ala mode - ha,
the unchanging mathematical constant
represents ratio of a circle's circumference
(the distance around it) to diameter
(the distance across it through the center),
and no matter the size of the circle,
said ratio always the same,
approximately 3.14159,
NOT the value of 22/7
above denoted fraction
represents commonly used
rational approximation for p
an infinite, non-repeating number
called an irrational number
and because illustrious symbol
ranks as an irrational number,
the decimal representation
goes on infinitely
without any repeating pattern,
unlike rational numbers,
which have decimals
that either terminate
(like 1/4 = 0.25) or repeat
in a predictable sequence
(like 1/3 = 0.333...),
pi's digits never settle
into finite mathematical arrangement
unlike male pattern baldness.

Now if you will politely excuse 
I need to contact all vendors/
merchants linkedin to newest card
in order update payment method
within a timely fashion
after substantial balance
in new account adequate
lest necessary products and services
brought to a crashing halt.

The list of agencies that warrant
urgent and immediate attention
at the mercy of bank colleague
gohar dot mukhtarzada at sign 
citizensbank dot com,
and for ease of sparing
getting the client
(such as myself in this case),
she refers to herself as Jojo,
and now I feel linkedin at her mercy
since issues regarding fraud,
and squaring away 
closing one checking account 
and creating a new one,
the domain within her expertise,
and must wait until Monday September 22nd
two thousand and twenty five
before tending to the adventurous, enormous, 
fortuitous, gracious, humungous, 
illustrious, judicious, onerous, 
and tedious task more difficult 
than threading a camel 
thru the eye of a (quite sizable) needle
(been there done that).

Truth be told after 
the unwelcome webbed, 
wide world series of unfortunate events 
(where checking account subjected 
to fraudulent activity 
to the tune of thousands of dollars, 
(or try whistling said statement to Dixie),
no matter how many time 
user name and password change – 
the virtual interloper stealthily robbed me
prodding one angry as a red bull netizen
to culminate notifying the billing office 
(if unable or unwilling 
to tackle the task of replacing 
vis a vis modus operandi 
with fresh spanking new debit card), 
yet completing the process 
for countless websites 
linkedin with revised payment method 
could almost be done 
when asleep with hands 
tied behind my back.

Copyright © Matthew Harris

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