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Shaggy Dog Limericks Vi
The Rottweiler
I wouldn’t provoke a Rottweiler
Not unless I were prepped like a miler
Seems a little inbreeding
Done without heeding
Has turned Benji into a Sieg Heiler
The Saint Bernard
Though not in his nature to beg
He would flip for a sip from the keg
Of the rum or the brandy
That dangles so handy
His lips near the tips of the peg
The Samoyed
Samoyed, now that sounds exotic
Is it some kind of breed that’s aquatic?
Or is it a fox
That’s come out of a box
With its pigments all pale and sclerotic?
The Schnauzer
The word that we’ve heard about Schnauzers
Is they’re famously shallow carousers
The truth is we’re jealous
Of these amorous fellas:
We’d love to be wearing their trousers
The Scottish Terrier
Though Airedales are larger and peerless
They can’t match a Scottie as fearless
And because they’re aloof
And will ration a “woof”
They’re the dog you are likely to hear less
The Shar-Pei and Shih Tzu
Shar-Peis and Shih Tzus tantamounts?
They look nothing alike where it counts
One’s wrinkle, one’s dimple
Yet kinship is simple:
Their names are so fun to pronounce
The Shetland Sheepdog
A Sheltie is likely to herd
Any creature that’s mammal or bird
Except for a CAT
(Fuggitabout THAT)
Even shelties are known to cry “merde!”
The Shiba Inu
We still haven’t managed to glean
What the words “Shiba Inu” quite mean
They may have to do
With a brand of shampoo
Which explains why they’re always so clean
The Siberian Husky
He cries to his team, “On you Huskies!”
Far from Nome all the way to the Russkies
Display all your daring
Make haste ‘cross the Bering
‘Cause you’re not just Siberian you’re USkies!
The Vizsla
The Vizsla is one of those breeds
That’s packaged in binary speeds
When off it will sleep
Like your average sheep
But when on will do mischievous deeds
The Weimaraner
In comparing the fleet Weimaraner
With its peers such as Blitzen and Donner
Please note in your pick
Though the reindeer are quick
To this dog a light jog spells dishonor
The West Highland White Terrier (Westie)
Though he’s found on some Isle of Skye lands
His home is the far Western Highlands
He’s proud to be Scot
So he’ll spot every plot
From Dundee to the Hebrides Islands
The Whippet
They were trained to run after a rag*
Which to them was a bit of a drag
So they’d bolt from their slip
At a pretty good clip
And pretend they were chasing a stag
The Yorkshire Terrier (Yorkie)
The Yorkie has visions of grandeur
Such that bigger dogs simply can’t stand her
She’ll nip at their heels
Abscond with their meals
And then yap ‘til she raises their dander
Copyright ©
Ralph Protsik
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