Description of An Alter Ego
A stupid question that lingers in the back of my head
Pools in my mouth, on the tip of my tongue as if I were to get an answer
My gaze burns into the white wall, maybe if I stared hard enough I would be able to catch a passing glimpse of a variation of me that wouldn’t be so bad
I would like her to knock on my door
I would invite her inside and ask “It seems like you are better than me, how so?”
She would laugh, her straight pearly teeth on show for everyone to see. No gaps, no flaws, no imperfections
“Haven’t you answered your own question, because I’m better”
I would ponder on her reply, unnecessarily rude but correct and lean back in my chair wondering if I fell off would I be able to dissolve into the floor beneath me,
floating away from my own heavy, body
A suit of flesh that isn’t my own
A bag of bones, blood and random assortment of organs
If I had wings, like a crow, I would fly away
Far from this fleshly vessel I’m stuck in
Far from this tortuous mind
Far from the danger of my soul
Safe from my heart that is a double sided blade
I look at this brass necked reflection of me
A creature of similar flesh yet so unconnected from my own
Not an alter ego
But a disgusting reflection of twisted perception of my own disturbed mind that enjoys pulling me apart, taunting me and laughing at my sorrowful pities
That traps me in a golden cage for it’s own amusement
Observing me from afar as I sing a cry for help
It’s perfect features with it’s broad grin that laughs at me, at my songs, at my hurt, at the world
Golden chains that hold me down
A song blissfully ignored
A breath left in a painful sigh
A black feather falls, gently, a dim shooting star fallen
Gone forevermore
Copyright ©
Madame Paillasse
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