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I feel unheard

I know I have been on repeat for 15 years
 I lost all my originality when I was sick and stolen from
  My guess is it poured out along with my soul and fears 
 chasing after my sanity as it flowed away in tears

 Its hard to come up with inspiration when your on pause
 trying to justify the actions of those who love you
 or at the very least come up with a justified cause
 one they could of chases based on misinterpreting something they saw you say 
 or do

 But best laid plans and lost causes your once dream life was taken from you
 with nothing but a barely believable story that I can only take accountability
 for not being strong enough to stay in the right when they made moves to take
 my light and say it wasn't true
 confused in the dark is not a reasonable place to figure out culpability.

 The only thing I have left in me because I shed my soul daily I dont save up
 because I cant promise all good every day so let it go good or bad send it 
 home
 and start fresh the next day but I can't shed the memory of the darkness and
  the way out it stays in me like a circuit loop in a conduit.
 So I can travel in the darkness to shed light on those who stay there and 
 hope they find hope to search for light because follow me or you when its 
 their fight is not the best way.
 
 all this said and I am still not right I no I may be meant for darkness to help    
 others overcome.
 if thats true what all the pain to keep me here 
 so much inner strength it takes to just find a smile and a way to help others.
 heal
 when all I could been is gone why is that the deal

 unloved and alone for 15 years fighting a war that free others. 
 but dooms me to something that I cannot hate or regret only dred
 Hope that i did bot deserve it that I volunteered otherwise I may die in 
 clovers
 But surely it is hell that waits for me.

  I feel so unheard I pour out words that are not great 
 but they would carry meaning spoken to anyone strong and meek
 from ear to ear of peasants and kings
 and these words will carry a truth for all who truth seek

Copyright © Shawn Gorsick

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Book: Reflection on the Important Things