Animal Poems Ii
Animal Poems II
These are poems about animals, limericks and other forms of doggerel.
Ballade of the Bicameral Camel
by Michael R. Burch
There once was a camel who loved to hump.
Please get your lewd minds out of their slump!
He loved to give RIDES on his large, lordly lump!
The Hippopotami
by Michael R. Burch
There’s no seeing eye to eye
with the awesomely huge Hippopotami:
on the bank, you’re much taller;
going under, you’re smaller
and assuredly destined to die!
On the Horns of a Dilemma (I)
by Michael R. Burch
Love has become preposterous
for the over-endowed rhinoceros:
when he meets the right miss
how the hell can he kiss
when his horn deforms her esophagus?
On the Horns of a Dilemma (II)
by Michael R. Burch
Love has become preposterous
for the over-endowed rhinoceros:
when he meets the right miss
how the hell can he kiss
when his horn is so horny it lofts her thus?
On the Horns of a Dilemma (III)
by Michael R. Burch
A wino rhino said, “I know!
I have a horn I cannot blow!
And so,
ergo,
I’ll watch the lovely spigot flow!
The Horns of a Dilemma Solved, if not Solvent
by Michael R. Burch
A wine-addled rhino debated
the prospect of living unmated
due to the scorn
gals showed for his horn,
then lost it to poachers, sedated.
The Blobfish
by Michael R. Burch
You can call me a "blob"
with your oversized gob,
but what's your excuse,
great gargantuan Zeus
whose once-chiseled abs
are now marbleized flab?
But what REALLY alarms me
(how I wish you'd abstain)
is when you start using
that oversized "brain."
Consider the results! Refrain!
The Sinister Snail
by Michael R. Burch
A sinister sinistral snail
went dextral, to no avail,
spent a week (here's a zinger)
as a right-winger,
but the leftist's now back in jail.
The Arrival of the Sea Lions
by Michael R. Burch
The sound
of hounds
resounds in the sound.
Hounds Impounded
by Michael R. Burch
The sound
of hounds
resounds
in the pound.
Prince Kiwi the Great
by Michael R. Burch
Kiwi’s
a pee-wee
but incredibly bright:
he sleeps half the day,
pretending it’s night!
Prince Kiwi
commands us
with his regal air:
“Come, humans, and serve me,
or I’ll yank your hair!”
Kiwi
cries “Kree! Kree!”
when he wants to be fed ...
suns, preens, flutters, showers,
then it’s off to bed.
Kiwi’s
a pee-wee
but incredibly bright:
he sleeps half the day,
pretending it’s night!
Keywords/Tags: animal, animals, doggerel, nonsense, light verse, hippo, rhino, snail, nature, funny, giggle, humor
Copyright ©
Michael Burch
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