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Lies Within

I’d take a knife and cut it out
like some deep-down infected gout
if only it were there under my skin.

I’d prick a vein and let it bleed,
free flowing, nothing to impede
if I thought it were streaming deep within.

I’d amputate it bit by bit
til there was nothing left of it,
then throw it piece by piece into the grind.

I’d heat a rod to glowing red,
then press and cauterize instead
of letting it live on, but I can’t find

just where it is inside in me.
I’ve stared into my eyes to see,
but all the mirror shows are signs of age.

I’ve knelt and prayed and tried to hold.
I’ve walked the line while growing old
but somehow, I can never turn the page.

And so I guess all I can do:
keep going. I suppose it’s true,
you cannot just give up and let it win.

So, I will hide the way I feel
and try to find a way to deal…
with the hidden pain that dwells within.

Copyright © Jeff Bresee

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