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abysSal dreadfulnesS
I don’t feel good at this
I’m feeling so hopeless
I need some happiness
I’m feeling dread instead
I’ve been consuming sorrowful bread
I’ve been feeling rather dead
I want to repent of being sinful
I want to repent of being resentful
I want to make this ugly beautiful
It’s difficult to explain
It’s easy to complain
When you drive in my lane
I need Your merciful spirit
I admit I need a better outlet
I want to have so much wit
I just want happiness
I want to get out of this mess
Of hopelessness and helplessness
Negativity leads me to the distress labyrinth
I’m trusting you to express myself with
Living this fantasy and myth
I’m grateful and thankful within
You gave me breath again
Through thick and thin…thin…thin…
I want to repent of being sinful
I want to repent of being resentful
I want to make this ugly beautiful
It’s difficult to explain
It’s easy to complain
When you drive in my lane
I need Your merciful spirit
I admit I need a better outlet
I want to have so much wit
I just want happiness
I want to get out of this mess
Of hopelessness and helplessness
I want to repent of being sinful
I want to repent of being resentful
I want to make this ugly beautiful
It’s difficult to explain
It’s easy to complain
When you drive in my lane
I need Your merciful spirit
I admit I need a better outlet
I want to have so much wit
I just want happiness
I want to get out of this mess
Of hopelessness and helplessness
It’s easier said than done
This war has not been won
Since you’ve been gone,
I’ve been a dusk without its dawn
I’ve been a bewildered, orphan fawn
In the forests of the dying, drying sun
I want to repent of being sinful
I want to repent of being resentful
I want to make this ugly beautiful
It’s difficult to explain
It’s easy to complain
When you drive in my lane
I need Your merciful spirit
I admit I need a better outlet
I want to have so much wit
I just want happiness
I want to get out of this mess
Of hopelessness and helplessness
There’s a lot of tension in my brain
There’s apprehension and I, in vain,
Give in to the temptation, insane train
If only there was a cure to this suicidal ideations
If only there’s a way to show You my future visions
My ambitions, my goals and my strengths — waking up on needles and pins
Walking on pins and needles
I have been crushing hatred beatles
Below my feet, beneath the surface of black holes
I want to repent of being sinful
I want to repent of being resentful
I want to make this ugly beautiful
I want to repent of being sinful
I want to repent of being resentful
I want to make this ugly beautiful
I want to change and I have somewhat changed
This rather estranged
Feeling inside my deranged…
Mindset…
So upset…
With regret…
I want to repent of being sinful
I want to repent of being resentful
I want to make this ugly beautiful
I want to repent of being sinful
I want to repent of being resentful
I want to make this ugly beautiful
I hope and dream
For higher self-esteem
I’m seeking the light beam
Amongst the gleam of nightfall
I’m afraid and frightened to fall
My heart is pounding in appall
Hear me as I call, oh Lord of Accord
Thank You for saving me with Your sword
I can’t afford these sins…that sows discord
I hoard these feelings of doubt
I need to walk Your narrow route
I just want happiness
I want to get out of this mess
Of hopelessness and helplessness
I don’t feel good at this
So might as well dismiss
This loneliness more or less
I just want happiness
I want to get out of this mess
Of hopelessness and helplessness
I don’t feel good at this,
So might as well kiss
The abyssal dreadfulness
Don’t reject me
Don’t resent me
I just want to let go…
If you’d just let me grow
Aside from the abyssal dreadfulness
Just know that you’re not alone
On this road of all-alone, on your own
I can see it in your unstoppable eyes
That you see me through this pain and the lies
Aside from the abyssal dreadfulness
I love you, this is true, I do
But, I can’t stop this mind train
If only you knew, you hadn’t a clue…
What I have been through in vain…
Aside from the abyssal dreadfulness
Why am I so emotionally unstable?
When will I endure remarkable insecurities? (I’m doing as I’m able…)
Why are you extremely unavailable?
Where is an everlasting cure for my anxieties? (Felt trapped in my disease)
You will be at ease…
Rely on Him please…
I’m feeling so hopeless
I’m truly a hideous mess
I don’t feel good at this, dreading this
I’m feeling my way out of this abyss…
Remember to not doubt
When we walk this route
Of hopefulness, (prayed away the darksome hopelessness)
Aside from the abyss (that ensnared me with this squalid distress)
Copyright ©
J.W. Earnings
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