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A Curates Tale

I used to be a curate in, and Beaky
named a North York’s town
while taking a sip of his beer 
and eying the company round.
We knew there was a story coming.
We could tell by the look on his face
and the way he squirmed and wiggled 
his backside comfortably into place.
There were quite a few cremations there
and I was baffled and just didn’t know 
why every hearse cab seemed to be 
a travelling soft fruit show.
There’d be a basket or bowl or bucket
full of finest orchard fare;
but they were always empty 
when that hearse left there.
When I‘d served my time,
was felt to be a man of trust
they let me into the secret
and I laughed near fit to bust.
This was thrifty Yorkshire
and nowt went to waste
so they used the constant heat
to brew some wines of taste.
I remember my feelings of pride
that very first time
I tried the first sip of 
my own crematorium wine.
The labourer’s worthy of his hire and 
they‘d all have been chuffed if they knew
their final act of departure
enabled a fine home brew.
Beaky finished his pint 
accepted appreciative grins,
muttering it’s nearly time
whose going to get them in??


To The Rev Kenneth George Beake
R.I.P. Ken - we had some good times together.

Copyright © Terry Ireland

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