Once again the missus did volunteer yours truly as master of ceremonies
Once again, the missus did volunteer yours truly as master of ceremonies...,
when triumvirate (Kathleen Bergen,
Pamela Floreen, and Richard Jett)
constitute Grosse and Quade
real estate management cutting crew
for Highland Manor Apartments in Schwenksville
conduct requisite yearly property inspection
(the law mandates low income rental properties
constituent units undergo careful examination
courtesy Housing and Urban Development)
on May 28th, 2024.
Countdown triggers nails
bitten down to quick
geesh if only Mary Poppins
could pull off cheap trick
or think super tramping Glinda courtesy
film Wizard of Oz
Good Witch of the North
riding at light speed in nick
of time travelling on her
state of the art broomstick
unfortunately they
long since retired courtesy
formerly the Banks residence rather slick
at 17 Cherry Tree Lane, London England
ruler of the Quadling Country
South of the Emerald City,
and protector of Princess Ozma
holed up in their respective bailiwick.
Said trio of aforementioned persons
comprising Property Manager
Regional Property Manager
and Maintenance Man respectively
rap on the door
(cue suspenseful music)
before their collective gaze turns toward:
the kitchenette, stealing
a peek into refrigerator, stove,
cupboards, testing garbage disposal
(long since removed once going kaput)
assessing utility room
housing hot water heater
testing smoke detector in bedroom
scanning bathroom
all the while reserving right
to take pictures
(and post them on the web - ha)
regarding slovenly inside appearance
of our unit if necessary.
No matter the missus and me
experienced aforementioned inspection
at least countless other instances
since we lived here circa July 1st, 2016
(plus or minus a decade - ha),
which necessary inspection
synonymous with violation,
whereby absolute zero
personal property we utilize
not considered off limits
to inquisitive troupe constituting
above identified higher ups
rifle thru cupboards, refrigerator
which incursion analogous
to inquisition, violation, intrusion
if necessary able, eager, ready and willing
to hire 1-800-GOT-JUNK.
Now no time for shriving sergeants
to craft inane verse,
cuz tis down to brass tacks
yours truly cannot relax
until he and the wife
align figurative ducks
courtesy ventriloquism acts
issues convincing quacks,
plus suddenly magically enlivened
neatly arrayed knickknacks
(give your dog a bone)
threatened with receiving
bonafide paddy whacks
give this dog a bone
if said tchotchkes misbehave
and exhibit buffoonish antics
subsequently summoned,
instructed, and commanded
to complete x squared jumping jacks
otherwise sent to fabled boot camp
superfluous unwanted playthings
recruited by Salvation Army
filling out ranks
of toy story abominable barracks.
Copyright ©
Matthew Harris
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