Best Cock Poems

Ted enjoys a quick roll in the hay...
He’s sleeping with his buxom P A
She confirmed she’s with child
Ted baulked, then got quite riled
I wonder what his wife’s got to say!

5/26/18...

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“Cock-a-Doodle-Do”
     By Dane Smith-Johnsen

There once was a very fine rooster.
He would strut with his wings spread out wide.
The hens in his pen called him “Brewster”.
They liked to flap around at his side.

“Cock-a-Doodle-Do!!!  The day's light grew.”
Quickly off to lay eggs...

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The cock wakes her up in the morning 
she loves his cocka doodle ring  
its longer then hubbies thing 
thicker then a piece of string 
Perhaps a vibrator that sings ?...

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Cock got virgin spouse
they spent nice times together

she sang melodies to boyfriend
but soon she was pregnant
labor moment came with pains
Cock went to maternity ward
asking for space to labor the child
but one child it was not

One, two, three, many children
girlfriend gave birth 
midwives were tired, not...

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"Politicians are a lot like diapers. They should be changed frequently, and for the same reasons." Mark Twain . (For some reason bizarre this is my favourite quote ever)

Trump is now POTUS
'electoral dysfunction'
stormy days ahead!
...

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I was a capable, urban professional, quite eagerly living the high life;
Like pink robin, of the saffron noon zenith, afore shadows bloom rife.

My daily work was very challenging, and it allowed me to be creative;
Like the generous stains of colors, which to changing skies, are...

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I like chickens, 
They’re cuddly and they’re cute
When I goes out on Friday night
I wears a chicken suit
People stares at me an says
“Just look at him he’s barmy”
They won’t find it so funny
When I’ve raised my chicken army
We’ll take the world by storm 
Then I...

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young chicks
become
old hens

young cocks
become 
old dreamers 
remembering

cock-a-doodle-doo

cock-a-doodle-doo
while the hens cluck 
in their sweet dreams...

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The biggest cock I have ever saw
Was coloured a sort of red, feathers
all around its base and little spots 
on  skinny head

It stood erect for all to see that hens
Might come to play, and soon these
Feathered concubines, in pleasure 
Squawked to sway

And big cock...

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A promiscuous lady named Jill
Thought it prudent to go on the pill
She saw her G.P
He said ‘oh dear me’ -
You should have used a condom with Will!

Jill politely asked him what he meant
Contraception was her real intent
The pill’s too late I fear
For you’re pregnant my...

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If you 2
Like me
Are lead astray by your ever so lively Cock and Ball's 
You 2 may find yourself in the dock 
If you didn't shout duck
And an errant Cock
Or playful Ball
Strikes you playing partner right in the face
Brace yourself 
Those things burn and sting...

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The year1762 a tale of murder or mystery they boast
 A teenage girl, drunken parish clerk, and maybe even a ghost
About hordes of aristocrats and wealthy men assembling
 Crowds rivalling Covent Garden, Theatres were now descending

To a house near St Paul’s on a road named...

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A noisy, Rhode Island Red rooster
Awoke, from his dreams, Simon Schuster.
Simon got mad as heck
And adjusted Red's neck.
Now Red doesn't crow like he uster....

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There was once a Scotsman called Jock
Who was always stroking his cock
But when the clock struck ten
He then turned to his hen
The egg basket is now restocked





.
05/07/2014...

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The Mexican Cock stands tall when the hens are around, 
Glancing, strutting and pecking his corn off the hot ground.
Cock a doodle doo, says he
Do you want to marry me?
Off he goes into the chicken coup
While the chicks tiptoe around his poop
He puffs his chest...

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