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Best Rude Poems

Below are the all-time best Rude poems written by Poets on PoetrySoup. These top poems in list format are the best examples of rude poems written by PoetrySoup members

Premium Member Just Desserts
I was at my favourite restaurant and I'd had a lovely meal,
if I finished all my food then a pudding was the deal
I’d relished every...

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Categories: food, funny, humorous, rude,

Premium Member The Contest
(The Contest)

I once knew a gentle poet boy
Pretending to be the real McCoy
   He lost two in a row
   This is...

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© SKAT A   Create an image from this poem.
Categories: rude, abuse, betrayal, confusion, how

It Reads Like A Rap
Your rhyme reads like a rap they say,
a rap I say,
a rap they say,
perhaps but rap is rhyme you see,
it's rhyme really,
it's rhyme you see,

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© Nick Trim  Create an image from this poem.
Categories: rude, hip hop, humor, humorous,

Premium Member The Workplace Wee
If someone at work saw my Mary,
I’d resign just as quick as can be,
But men have to face this fear squarely,
When they go for a...

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Categories: rude, fun, funny, humor, humorous,

In A Perfect World
An idyllic Saturday evening scene-
on our street, little kids play
‘touch and go’.  Excited shrieks
and laughter warm the chilled February air, 
pavement alive with little...

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© KP Nunez  Create an image from this poem.
Categories: rude, animal, betrayal, children, life,

The Tale of the Dirty Dick
Girls, if you ever find a man of great persistence
Listen to your ******, and say NO! with adequate resistance
You see chicks, when a dude gets...

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Categories: rude, body, caregiving, crazy, funny,

Crossed Me At The Borderline, Just In Time
-------------------------------------- ~*note: done in fun and aimed at no one~  

try and seed my name you'll concede to shame
no use in calling names to...

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Categories: rude, anti bullying, assonance, baby,

This is Wrong, BUT
Rude people who think only of themselves -
I would like to sit atop mantle shelves
Yes, I know that is wrong
but it's where they belong
when they...

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© Lin Lane  Create an image from this poem.
Categories: rude,

Northern Suburbia
Your love is real 
the love you feel.
Your love is great 
the love you make.
Your records are on fire 
its your desire.
Take me out tonight

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Categories: rude, adventure, allusion, anger, art,

Dangerous Guns
Home is where the radio is
Paradise is where I am
I miss his cigarettes...His mess
He said "I am smoking the last one"

I'm going to make him...

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Categories: rude, girl, hair, i miss

Premium Member Meretricious Spirit
Meretricious Spirit

This spirit is modern society’s cancer
Replete with rank, flashy vulgarities
Pervading our social fabric and soul
Unbridled, unbowed, unapologetic;
It can be a curse to mankind itself

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Categories: rude, betrayal, emotions, feelings, hurt,

Premium Member The Surge
storm waves amassed
if only I had waited
for the waves to pass
my poetry could have floated 
gently to shore

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Categories: rude, character, introspection, philosophy, poetry,

Premium Member DINNER GUEST: ME

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Categories: emotions, longing, rude,

Trim Shady Come Out And Playyyy
Challenge To Trim Shady Lets Flow
I'll murk you Trim Shady in slowmo 
for talking crazy in my dojo
shouldn't have come solo
to try to best this...

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Categories: rude, computer, dedication, england, hip

Road Rage
recklessness attacks ego
fury attacks soul
adrenaline attacks viscera
middle digit attacks upward
foot attacks accelerator
vehicle attacks vehicle
hand attacks pistol
lead attacks flesh
remorse attacks fury
gavel attacks sound block
inmate attacks inmate

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Categories: rude, anger, conflict, dark, pride,

You Cant Handle This Slam
Baby girl let me explain sultry charms
See men fall into my arms
Come to my place look in, have a peak
If I wanted, me and your...

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Categories: rap, rude,

More Sad Truth: Of Pigs and Pearls
This was written with regard to Jan's poem about the sad truth she discovered yesterday.  An attitude adjustment is desperately needed for anyone who...

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© Lin Lane  Create an image from this poem.
Categories: poets, rude,

Premium Member You think you can rhyme, a slam poem
Hey  you think that you can rhyme
Think again as it is useless many times
Sometime it s forced or ending with ing
But the real message...

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Categories: rude,

Premium Member Unhappy Tommy Macguigan

Unhappy Tommy Macguigan

He wasn't blessed with a big'un

'Twas rather a shrimp

And usually limp,

Poor little thing, best kept hidden. 


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© Gary Smith  Create an image from this poem.
Categories: funny, rude,

Looking down at the ground
Feeling like I’m bound
By all the people around
Wondering what I did wrong
To feel like I don’t belong
Trying just to get along


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Categories: bullying, hate, loneliness, rude,

Premium Member Cauliflower Makes Me Poo
Cauliflower makes me poo,
It does! It does! I’m telling you!
These cute florets, they all beget
Poogeddon in an hour or two.

I thought “oh great! I’ll lose...

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Categories: rude, food, fun, funny, giggle,

If You Could Bottle it, it Would Sell - Bawdy Limerick
Mei-Ling was known to kiss and tell
Got worse when she wed Me Hung Well
     With the power of thought

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Categories: funny, humorous, passion, rude,

Premium Member BEWARE

Beware of weirdos lurking the internet
Let them in your life at your own risk
It’s the playground of psychopaths
Wolves in sheep’s clothing
And social outcasts
Heed my words


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Categories: abuse, grief, internet, rude,

Premium Member All Women Over Forty Are Dried Up
Absurd situations amuse me; they get written into poems.
Foolish generalizations about groups of people infuriate me; 
they also get written into poems.
All Irish, all whites,...

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Categories: rude, age, bullying, conflict, hello,

Premium Member Piece of Mind
Mouth opens harshly
garbage dump
rotting inner core.


Submitted for Magicicada 13 Body and Mind Poetry Contest sponsored by Maureen McGreavy...

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Categories: body, character, hurt, rude,