Best Rude Poems

I was at my favourite restaurant and I'd had a lovely meal,
if I finished all my food then a pudding was the deal
I’d relished every...

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(The Contest)

I once knew a gentle poet boy
Pretending to be the real McCoy
   He lost two in a row
   This is...

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you may try to make us feel inferior
strutting around with head held high and mighty
i wonder
is it for our sake
or just to cover up thy...

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If someone at work saw my Mary,
I’d resign just as quick as can be,
But men have to face this fear squarely,
When they go for a...

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heave bursts from lips can both injure or heal
harsh words strike deep the bayonet’s metal
while kind words stroke soft as a rose petal
floral scent~ gardener’s...

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An idyllic Saturday evening scene-
on our street, little kids play
‘touch and go’.  Excited shrieks
and laughter warm the chilled February air, 
pavement alive with little...

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Girls, if you ever find a man of great persistence
Listen to your ******, and say NO! with adequate resistance
You see chicks, when a dude gets...

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-------------------------------------- ~*note: done in fun and aimed at no one~  



try and seed my name you'll concede to shame
no use in calling names to...

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Your love is real 
the love you feel.
Your love is great 
the love you make.
Your records are on fire 
its your desire.
Take me out tonight
and...

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Rude people who think only of themselves -
I would like to sit atop mantle shelves
Yes, I know that is wrong
but it's where they belong
when they...

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Your rhyme reads like a rap they say,
a rap I say,
a rap they say,
perhaps but rap is rhyme you see,
it's rhyme really,
it's rhyme you see,
this...

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If I

Were exactly what you needed…
you would be mine now. 
I would sadly die however, 
as… if that were true? 
I would be in heaven....

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                        ...

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storm waves amassed
if only I had waited
for the waves to pass
my poetry could have floated 
gently to shore
...

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Meretricious Spirit

This spirit is modern society’s cancer
Replete with rank, flashy vulgarities
Pervading our social fabric and soul
Unbridled, unbowed, unapologetic;
It can be a curse to mankind itself
Engulfing...

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Home is where the radio is
Paradise is where I am
I miss his cigarettes...His mess
He said "I am smoking the last one"

I'm going to make him...

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Hey  you think that you can rhyme
Think again as it is useless many times
Sometime it s forced or ending with ing
But the real message...

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I That Because Of Your Attack, Will Never Yield.

No single tear given, nor I gift you an open field
so yes, make merry with your hatred...

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This was written with regard to Jan's poem about the sad truth she discovered yesterday.  An attitude adjustment is desperately needed for anyone who...

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Absurd situations amuse me; they get written into poems.
Foolish generalizations about groups of people infuriate me; 
they also get written into poems.
All Irish, all whites,...

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Mei-Ling was known to kiss and tell
Got worse when she wed Me Hung Well
     With the power of thought
  ...

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recklessness attacks ego
fury attacks soul
adrenaline attacks viscera
middle digit attacks upward
foot attacks accelerator
vehicle attacks vehicle
hand attacks pistol
lead attacks flesh
remorse attacks fury
gavel attacks sound block
inmate attacks inmate
...

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Cauliflower makes me poo,
It does! It does! I’m telling you!
These cute florets, they all beget
Poogeddon in an hour or two.

I thought “oh great! I’ll lose...

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There once was a fellow from Bude
Who loved to play golf in the nude,
Someone quipped "that thing, 
Has a hell of swing,
He sure is one...

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Unhappy Tommy Macguigan

He wasn't blessed with a big'un

'Twas rather a shrimp

And usually limp,

Poor little thing, best kept hidden. 










...

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