Best Rude Poems | Poetry

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New Rude Poems

Don't stop! The most popular and best Rude poems are below this new poems list.

WHAT A RUDE ATTITUDE by ALLISON, JAN
Cruises and Rude Bruises by sensele, john
The polite and rude Haiku by Knowlton, Charlie
Rude Polly Parrot by Shaw, Kevin
Don't Be Rude by Rodeheaver , Julie Leigh
Rude Awakening by Tones, Raven
Rude but sweet by bajantri, jagdish
Rude Awakening by Adams, Bruce
Trump and a Rude Awakening by Horn, James
Rude Awakening by Grimaldi , Karolina

View all new Rude Poems

The Best Rude Poems

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Just Desserts

Listen to poem:
I was at my favourite restaurant and had a lovely meal If I finished all my food then a pudding was the deal I’d relished every morsel and was pleased as a Cheshire cat The dessert menu was on its way, Oh I couldn’t wait for that The waitress brought the menus and I rubbed my hands with glee Oh sticky toffee pudding, now that’s the one for me She came to take the order – we had waited as you do She finally turned to me and said ‘oh Madam what can I get you’ Oh stiffy cockie pudding please was my swift reply I didn’t realise what I’d said till I saw the tears form in her eye I went as red as a beetroot and the others began to laugh At my spoonerism which turned into a complete gaffe The pudding it came quickly but I couldn’t wait to leave I choked on every mouthful and my stomach it did heave So please take notice of my error on this horrendous day If you order sticky toffee pudding be careful what you say! My favourite rhyming poem contest Sponsored by Laura Loo 2/2/14 This is a true experience! The waitress was a student at the school I work at - I was so pleased when she went to university - I have never ordered this dessert since! This is a very special poem to me as it was my first one posted on soup and i love the humour in it. The first poem I wrote was a sad one called 'Splendid Isolation' but I wanted to be known for my humour . Just Desserts was published in a book by United Press which was a massive boost to a novice writer.


Copyright © JAN ALLISON | Year Posted 2014


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The Contest

(The Contest)

I once knew a gentle poet boy
Pretending to be the real McCoy
   He lost two in a row
   This is no game show
At the end, I felt used by the playboy


(The cold rain)

I wish I could take back the HM
Don't know why you chose to condemn
   I thought we were friends
   Now I see through crystal lens,
How you think all your poems are a top gem

(Not a reason to hate)

I once knew a girl with heavy makeup
Behind her smile, her face was corrupt 
   She was in it for the race
   Wanting all her poems to place
She did not win, now she's all worked up
    


SKAT


Copyright © SKAT A | Year Posted 2015


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A Man From Asia

A night of drinking shots, shorts and out of test tubes,
it's summertime so everyone out has removed the pube.
This summer sun means you're always in the mood,
so stock up on batteries, lube and eat leaf food.

Tonight you dance like a dodo would do,
if the dodo re-rose and reproduced loads,
so move your toes, your butt and your nose,
dance the dance of a dodo re-rose.

Dancing is the human mating call,
so make those boobs and balls wobble,
everyone wants to go home with a pull,
if not it's the finger, paw or battery draw of the single.

She dances a dance that is so damn sexy,
you enhance and your underpants become messy.
She looks at you and says "come and get me",
and you say "I'm sorry I've cum accidentally".

Honestly mate that's never happened to me,
at least put it in before the apology.

She then moved towards you and you were both grinding more,
while it seeped down your leg and out on to the dancefloor,
then people started to fall like never before,
you had to many shots to see she was a man whore,
with a very present Adams apple and a bulge more ample than yours. 

She was tucked and taped but the tape fell away,
and out of that mini skirt two big fat balls did sway, 
you didn't pull a woman mate, you pulled a gay,
and trust me when I say she was not very young, 
but I've got to say mate she was very well hung.

It's now morning and you're thinking shall I see her later............
She wasn't fit mate she was a man from Asia!

I thought with boobs the balls got removed,
but you found a dude with balls like a moose,
and now you're in for a life of banter abuse,
If I was you I'd stay off the booze.

Carlsberg don't do piss ups, but if they did..............

they probably wouldn't talk such crap in their adverts.


Copyright © Nick Trim | Year Posted 2018


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Big Ego

He's got a big ego,
he keeps offending people,
he scoops the same scoop,
& round & round we loop,
until the bubble pops, 
& the world sees him flop,
reject the rude, deflate your ego,
swearing kills the mood, able?

I'm getting to cocky,
I could outbox Ali,
wrestle with The Rock,
reach the top and stop & mock.
Ego full of stock,
forget the tick tock
cus I'm 24 7 
until I get into heaven,
insomnia beckons 
& amnesia threatens,
bend rhymes like Beckham
dunk punks like Jordan,
the mental perfection 
with its rhyme injection,
about to live the lesson
of the ego outstretchin'
the limit it can flex,
the crux, the critical,
I rhyme the old skool
& wear hip hop shoes,
I hate the mumble flop 
with the words unused.
It's just ear abuse,
on the loose, with no use,
noise with no excuse.

Big man, big balls he's acting like a right prick,
Big man, big balls disguise a very little dick,
Big man, big balls overcompensating it,
Goodbye big man, with average rhymes no different.

I suspect that this project
will impact & inflict
sick tricks, & then retract 
& evaporate back
to the Gods intact,
before it's redirected 
to another level head
who wrecks & blows it, 
crash the car, went to far,
you go from feeling cool
to a sample of your stool,
that once big head
gone & the face left red,
baking big mistakes,
taking a punch of a heavyweight,
David doesn't always beat Goliath,
cometh the hour,
cometh the coffin,
you can't stimulate with coffee
cus the heart stop beatin',
the soul is set free,
& this world you're leavin',
beaten down with ease
lying dead and bleedin'.

Big man, big balls he's acting like a right prick,
Big man, big balls disguise a very little dick,
Big man, big balls overcompensating it,
Goodbye big man, with average rhymes no different.

One hand holds but the other can't reach,
near rhymes arnt real rhymes, 
& sand doesn't mean a beach,
but if you find the flow,
find a way to wined the cable,
then transmit clear & stable
& accurate like a machete,
you'll rhyme like a line of spaghetti,
but with deadwood on your lead
& at ease in your bed head,
cus it feels so easy with an ego,
then know it won't make a good show,
so put your feet on the ground
be aware of how the words sound,
stop the passive aggression
or accept a massive devaluation,
leave behind the prima donna
or become another gonna,
fill your minds storage
with knowledge beyond the college,
there's always more to learn
& more wood to burn,
big heads remove themselves
when they burn their own shelves.


Copyright © Nick Trim | Year Posted 2018


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It's Two Days After Thursday

Enter the Everest that devastates.
He never ever rests and he demonstrates,
how the greatness activates,
traits that forever feed hate,
from enemies full of envious jealousy,
with sad little nul and void abilities.
It's a given that even if you sail the seven seas 
as well as trail the land you will fail,
to topple the unbeatable one,
he is second to none
so you won't find better people,
clever mortals don't stand equal,
he's leaving fuckers looking feeble,
falling short and in need of support,
one by one each face returns to its common space,
with a disappearance of their cocky ways,
disgraced and put in their place.

Total domination mate,
sinks you into a submissive state,
I'm taking your misses away on a date,
she's blowing me kisses,
she said to say you're finished,
I wish you best wishes
in the sea there are many fishes.

She said to me 
Left toe, Right toe,
she turned and twerked her butt hole,
celebrate your birthday,
it's two days after thursday,
we visited the bar mate 
cus dancing makes you thirsty,
left toe, right toe
and party like a hero,

My rhymes are dirty,
immature and over thirty,
insults don't hurt me,
athletic and nerdy,
so punches get returned 
and you wake up all hazy,
I'm a master of all trades,
not a jack I get A* grades,
I'm exceptional compared to any, 
I'm the Ultimate go-go
God of the rhyme show,
others go, 
way to slow, 
like a Skoda,
I'm a force beyond NASA
thrusting rockets out the ozone,
you're spelling like a bozo,
but don't get lazy cus I can see
you are quite cosy behind me,
you are the second best,
far better than the rest,
I like to have good competition,
It's a fashion to have a comparison,
We make the rest look comical,
we rhyme well,
while the rest are diabolical,
and rhyme stale.
we can tag team up and be great,
while they bag food up and clean plates,
we will live in mansions
while they hope for pensions,
I'm the God of rhyme
you're a King on a throne,
they're rhyme criminals
who become the unknown.

I've got to go mate,
I'm on a date,

She said to me 
Left toe, Right toe,
she turned and twerked her butt hole,
celebrate your birthday,
it's two days after thursday,
we visited the bar mate 
cus dancing makes you thirsty,
left toe, right toe
and party like a hero.


Copyright © Nick Trim | Year Posted 2018


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Brenda Chiri Challenged Me, This Is Her Eulogy

Brenda's in barney rubble,
we were having a bubble, 
but my feathers were ruffled,
stand by and give her a cuddle.

You've challenged a Nick that'll kill with a flick of the bean,
I'm no Mr. Bean I thought you'd seen how I clean
out running mouths with words I don't gun down,
yet I move from town to town, making clowns surrounded
by tears leaving them scarred for life and living in fear,
before they turn to and drown themselves in the beer,
seeking safety in the arms of queers providing dick chairs 
that wear bottoms bare.

You pushed my buttons my colonial cousin and now you're rushing 
to write your verse that we all know will be worse.
If you quit now I'll save money ear marked for your hearse,
you'll benefit 'cus I can put the money back in your purse.
You behave a way that'll see you fall in a grave,
Washington's dead and Trump's to dumb to save,
I bet you had a rave chucking that tea off a boat, 
Quote "I've seen more rebellious acts from a goat" end quote,
Bush was dumb yet he won a second vote,
he couldn't read and I bet he never wrote,
vote for the dumb and the population should be chased by white coats.

You lit a fire in my heart, like in 1812 when that fire did start,
the leaders home, the nations heart, started to burn with less strain than a fart. The rhyme of the poison dart, your flag looks like childrens art.
With the exception of the lyrics from a man who should be sectioned
yeah I've read the verses you don't sing, your anthem was written in Britain ain't revolutions a funny thing, you got rid of our King, well we did the same thing, but then said sit as head of state without power or anything, that's how you humiliate, you don't put in place English common law after a war to get free from the same law mate.

The White House was fried and disappeared out of sight,
but the stick and cloth was there with it's pride, 
alone with no buildings either side or behind.
Jose was all warm inside, the White House died.
Creating an allegiance to cloth and stick, 
Bush thick and Trumps a prick.
When I leave I'll show my ass for you to lick,
 it's 3 a.m and I'm to good for you man... or woman, 
run your mouth at the Taliban not a British man.
You write the date dyslexic, 
on the boat your ancestors brain became anorexic.
Take note I'm epic, 
you spastic, 
Now f**k you and have a nice day... whoops I forgot to put my arse on display.
You chuck the tea and we'll rule the waves.
I'm putting you back in the caves.


Copyright © Nick Trim | Year Posted 2018


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It's More Fun With Three

It was all gravy baby I'd got me a lady, she kept saying "when you gonna pay me?". I guess no man ever gets it for free. I'd given my money to the agency.
I made her a coffee and I offered her a toffee, she said "mmm you treat a lady properly", I said "probably" and showed her around the property.
She was proper pert and perky, I felt not worthy, she's the sort of girl that'll make you pervy. 
She said the coffee gave her some energy, and she could out do a Duracell bunny, I said "I see, would you like some ecstasy?" 
She said "yes please" and agreed to split the fee with me. 
So I got on the phone to my dealer Hillary and ask for a delivery.
She arrived very quickly and I told her I've got company, 
she said "can I come in it's more fun with three", as she looked at me seductively. 
I introduce her to Lindsay, as that was the name of the lady.
They said let's live a fantasy. I had to check if I was actually in reality.
They asked to see my woody, I got it out they said "hail mary".
I said "go easy girls you have to share me". We shared a laugh that none of us were hairy. We did it for hours repeatedly, missionary, doggy and some position called froggy, when I was done they'd say to each other "scissor me",
it's a day that'll live in the memory........
because both the b*****s have had twins with me, I wish I had used a bloody johnny!!!
Karma quickly reversed my lucky,
and that's why I've got no flucking money!!

2/4/18


Copyright © Nick Trim | Year Posted 2018


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In A Perfect World

An idyllic Saturday evening scene-
on our street, little kids play
‘touch and go’.  Excited shrieks
and laughter warm the chilled February air, 
pavement alive with little feet's patter.

My neighbor’s Golden Labrador does it again: 
he slips out just as his owner 
drives through the tall, wide open iron gate.

Marley runs after the laughter-
playful, in his ferocious way.
Neighbor stops, engine idling, 
and looks intently as a frightened child, 
no more than ten, runs screaming in terror.

In hot pursuit, teeth bared, barking
with all his might, Marley obviously
enjoys the chase. I command the dog to stop
as I reach the child, his body trembling. 
I look at my neighbor's eyes - waiting.
He lowers his lashes, shifts the gear, 
tells his help to get Marley, and goes on his way. 

In a perfect world,  a little child would not know 
the meaning of terror and passive cruelty,
all in one breath.  He would not have to feel 
less valued than a pricey, crossbreed dog.



17 February 2016
Catie Lindsey's In a Perfect World Contest


Copyright © KP Nunez | Year Posted 2016


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The Tale of the Dirty Dick

Girls, if you ever find a man of great persistence
Listen to your ******, and say NO! with adequate resistance
You see chicks, when a dude gets a hard dick
If it's dirty, it can make you super sick
Painful pisses and cloudy urine will follow suit
All because Dirty Dick Man wanted to discharge his root
So, ladies, beware...there are diseases out there
No Dick gets serviced until it's clean and faire
Run, scream, shout, "Spank your ****ing monkey!"
Please, I beg of you, do as I now  propose
Keep your ****** sparkling clean-never let it decompose.



Copyright © Jennifer Young | Year Posted 2014


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Crossed Me At The Borderline, Just In Time

-------------------------------------- ~*note: done in fun and aimed at no one~  



try and seed my name you'll concede to shame
no use in calling names to lose the game

yir' ill will is just plain disastrous 
asinine avatars deserve an asterisk

as for being fact-less, your slaps don't diss
every lick you spit simply tends to miss

harmless words that curse, rehearsed childishness
gets your face erased and they'll say who's next

as defilement arrives inside your text
that's when shame wheels you back, right to the nest.


~10 syllables in each of 10 rhyming lines~


Copyright © JSLambert Mister ROBOTO | Year Posted 2014


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This is Wrong, BUT

Rude people who think only of themselves -
I would like to sit atop mantle shelves
Yes, I know that is wrong
but it's where they belong
when they act like those impish little elves


Copyright © Lin Lane | Year Posted 2016


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Northern Suburbia

Your love is real 
the love you feel.
Your love is great 
the love you make.
Your records are on fire 
its your desire.
Take me out tonight
and go wild and crazy, 
or be fat and lazy. 
So I played some Doors 
and saw some whores. 
So I said goodbye 
and they all must die, fool. 
So dig my guts 
and eat my brain 
and then go insane. 
I don't
Care I love it 
so forget it, Punk!


Copyright © Blake Holland | Year Posted 2015


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Not Afraid, part 1

(Verse 1)

This cannot repeat or loop around anymore, in my direction.
I've had the wind kicked out of my sails, due to depression,
and everyday
I hide away
and I'm not displaying 
the fight that I'm saying.
I'm down inside and sink,
I'm more flipping down than you'd think.
Lost for love and lost for laughter,
facing up to my fears always ends in disaster
with anxiety.

So I'm always down and doubting me.
A desert there's a drought in me
while rain downpours are drowning me.
The logic's leaking out of me.
A mist hides the positivity
you find in creativity.

From an infant right up to my last rhyme thinking I can't do s**t
life devours me,
I need to shake that habit,
cus in rhyme my talent's apparent so I won't bow out cowardly.

I'm wasting my worth,
but have a thunderous thirst,
to rediscover some turf.
Watch me now and you'll witness,
as I drift with the surf,
and wet the earth,
of this desert,
as I p**s on the dirt.

You just heard
now watch and observe.


Copyright © Nick Trim | Year Posted 2018


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Dangerous Guns

Home is where the radio is
Paradise is where I am
I miss his cigarettes...His mess
He said "I am smoking the last one"

I'm going to make him crazy
Rage, rage, rage
Rage, fury, rage
Nobody will be able to hurt me again

I will defeat pain with rage, my love
He cheated on me
He humiliated me
I am lost, baby, I am lost

But then with one kiss
I'd forgive him everything
He left me without a word
But he had forgotten his gun

I thought "Do i have to shoot myself? Or him?"
But then I found myself in front of a mirror
And then I started to brush my hair like this...
Stroke, stroke... My curls melted away

And then I thought "Why I have to reach exactly 100?"
Because in the hundredth stroke...
My hair was back to being straight
I looked again

He had no power over me
Baby, I have changed
I'm not that little girl anymore
I was a different person


Copyright © Floral Flowers | Year Posted 2014


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Meretricious Spirit

Meretricious Spirit

This spirit is modern society’s cancer
Replete with rank, flashy vulgarities
Pervading our social fabric and soul
Unbridled, unbowed, unapologetic;
It can be a curse to mankind itself
Engulfing some people in moments
Of childish deception and insincerity
Which challenge our human civility;
Petulance, at times, can be seen to
“Rule the Roost” in certain personal
Interactions to make each of us seem
To be less than who we truly are in life;
Always follow your life’s passion and
The spiritual heart and tenor of your soul,
For they shall be your true moral compass
As you face the daily slings and arrows of
This life as mankind’s fabulistic tendencies
Seek to tarnish one’s very spirit and worth
In this thing we all call—our mortal coil!
 
Gary Bateman, Copyright © All Rights Reserved,
October 11, 2016 (Didactic)


Copyright © Gary Bateman | Year Posted 2016


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Spineless

Let's review it back,
and examine where I stood in the pyramid stack,
I would never climb my way to the top of the pack,
with those selfish weasel bosses that claim that I slack.

See every place I've worked it's the same old story,
there's always brown nose spineless busters seeking personal glory.

See, if you lick the ass at the top of the chain,
then they will compromise the amount that they pay,
but I give my opinion in an honest way,
while these "yes men" sit just yessing away.
I couldn't bite my lip at them everyday,
but I also don't need to be told I'm core to the company,
I have a life outside this, they love overtime they always stay,
this place is their life, just this....how sad are they.

This went against my principles, and led me a stray,
I watched the incapable get promoted and praised,
I was shovelling faeces while they got a raise.
Lick ass or remain on the minimum wage.

Just stick your head right up there and clean out their colon,
do it for long enough and you'll get a promotion.

That's how to get promoted in this day and age.
It's got nothing to do with experienced gained
or if you have a better developed brain,
just let them walk over you like Bush did to Blair and don't complain.

Personal relationships mean they put in a good word,
and that's more important than what graduates learn.
So the hierarchy is not made up of the best,
but those that lick more butt than the rest.

This is the age of the brown nose I suppose.
Let it be known so they are completely exposed,
and let them know they're useless suction tools,
eluded by dignity and success, plunging toilet bowls.

7/11/2017


Copyright © Nick Trim | Year Posted 2017


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Bah ollocks

Christmas is a farce,
stick your hand up a turkeys arse.

A virgin breeding?
I guess you believe in?
Are you stupid?
It was God's kid?
No, Mary got around you fool and Joseph was really gullible.

The holy son, is a son
of a God, who made the planet in darkness,
totally unaware of the sun.
Our God is not the smartest.

Science can, but not religion,
By that i mean offer an explanation......
When did we move to this planet that's round?
God made something with flat ground?

Let there be light
and a book they did write,
but no one can read,
so it's a rule book for the elite,
who take from the community
and abuse authority.
Heavenly?
More like selfish and horribly.
Here for the community
that paid for that church and are hungry
after donating money each Sunday
leaving their stomach empty.

Talk to the saviour and say amen,
he's imaginary but you're not insane,
but insane people are friends with imaginary men,
and get locked up away from those deemed sane, 
and pray to a totally different imaginary ends,
it's insane to have a different imaginary friend.
Something only the imagination can comprehend,
intelligent design is all this in the end. 
Or that theory just reached its end.

He sent a sister and brother, (Adam & Eve)
who reproduced with one another, (inbred)
and their kids did, (inbred breeding inbred)
we're all related.
So we're all inbred,
and the son of God was born next to a donkey in a three sided shed.

A talking snake
it all seems fake,
part the red sea
your head must be empty.

They say he died and came back to life
I say it's all a fraudulent lie.

Watch the logic of the argument put back at me.
I think religion is married to insanity.

Noah's ark had two of each,
but what the hell did everything eat?
And they reproduced with one another,
so all life is a result of sister shagging brother.
Respect to the dodo,
it said no no.

Don't get offended at my rant at Christmas,
in a week from now you won't care about Jesus.

The reason for that is religion's man made and wicked
we use God to avoid fannys and willies with kids.
We lie to keep them innocent,
and when they learn as teenagers their respect for you becomes non existent.

Such lovely children........
until they found out you lied to them.

For thousands of years it's how we raise our young,
who are dumb having fun exchanging cum.
God might have stopped this rebellion
that makes you a grandparent at 31.

Santa is fat and enslaves wingless reindeer,
So to all bah humbug..... and a Happy New Year.


Copyright © Nick Trim | Year Posted 2017


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Road Rage

recklessness attacks ego
fury attacks soul
adrenaline attacks viscera
middle digit attacks upward
foot attacks accelerator
vehicle attacks vehicle
hand attacks pistol
lead attacks flesh
remorse attacks fury
gavel attacks sound block
inmate attacks inmate


Copyright © Ruff Bender | Year Posted 2017


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Not Afraid To Plagiarism My Selfish Ambition PART 2

Lets all cook a Sheppard pie, Sheppard pie, Sheppard pie.
First we make a Sheppard die, Sheppard die I'll make a Kaden die!

You wouldn't believe it from the way the pie tastes,
but there's nothing behind that butt ugly face!
Who needs a brain when you've got copy and paste?
Who needs talent when you steal without grace?

Now you really are up against someone who knows the down and doubting game,
I was clever enough to write it Kaden, but I'm also insane. 
I will make you remember my name, so you wont steal my rhymes ever again!!

I have a thirst for the turf,
first things first thicko, you're about to get served!!
My verse you stole was clever, 
don't try and work it out dumbass it'll take you forever!!

If you were clever you'd know why..... did you steal your brain too?
Maybe from a pig sty?
I hope you get in the top 100 and go straight to number one,
so everyone looks at you as I point out what you've done,
if you have more success then i'll have more fun. 

It's the depth of my Not Afraid Part 1 that makes it better,
two separate metaphors that come together,
and the double entendre that begins halfway through making me become a fighter.
I actually reflect on the logic leaking out of me and how i am a good writer,
that's why i need to shake the habit you faggot!!
I guess your constipated pig brain didn't calculate that,
you cleary went off track and played a little words spat,
and i bet you stole that from another poets hat.

Kaden Sheppard stole my rhyme and made it simple,
so i'm a write a poem when i like to point it out to people.
Shall we call it Selfish Ambition, Kaden, is that okay?
I'll steal your two words cus you stole my whole verse,
delete your stolen bu****it and be on your way.......

I can do this all day, while i..........

cook a Sheppard pie, Sheppard pie, Sheppard pie.
Lets all cook a Sheppard pie, Sheppard pie, Sheppard pie.
First we make a Sheppard die, Sheppard die, I'll make a Kaden die!







Copyright © Nick Trim | Year Posted 2018


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Unhappy Tommy Macguigan








Unhappy Tommy Macguigan

He wasn't blessed with a big'un

'Twas rather a shrimp

And usually limp,

Poor little thing, best kept hidden. 












Copyright © Gary Smith | Year Posted 2017


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More Sad Truth: Of Pigs and Pearls

This was written with regard to Jan's poem about the sad truth she discovered yesterday.  An attitude adjustment is desperately needed for anyone who would try to manipulate others.  https://www.poetrysoup.com/poem/the_sad_truth_behind_the_reduction_of_comments_on_my_poems_974921



It's a cheeky, brazen pig who orders people around by saying,
"Don't comment on her poems, and don't read anything by him."
You wallow in a pig sty while on innocent poets you are preying.
With a demeanor such as that, your life must be pitiful and grim. 

Stop slinging your dirty barnyard sludge in the faces of other poets.
You should feel ashamed for doing something so cruel and asinine!
But you'll never admit to what you've done and everyone knows it.
A poet's words are pearls, never meant to be thrown before swine.*

*Matthew 7:6


Copyright © Lin Lane | Year Posted 2017


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The Number 1 Slam Time Poem

Your words are hurting my retina
'cus your rhymes stink like diarrhea
you're no rhyme godzilla just a gorilla
infected with poetic gonorrhea.

Your rhymes are thoughtless and without force
because of the very simple words you source
that make you sound like you are a horse
in a boat trying to flow without the oars.

You think you're a God and up there with Ali
and you might be at boxing but not poetry
I think you should go and climb back up the tree
and rejoin your own family of chimpanzee.

So can you take your rotten disease
and move yourself away from me please
'cus you're infected and carrying fleas
and are a risk to me, the bees knees.


Copyright © Nick Trim | Year Posted 2018


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Trim Shady Come Out And Playyyy

Challenge To Trim Shady Lets Flow
I'll murk you Trim Shady in slowmo 
for talking crazy in my dojo
shouldn't have come solo
to try to best this italiano
your words are shallow
like trumps at mar largo
so bravo those who you they use to follow 
now I lead as you wallow 
helped me to the moon like apollo

My words are heaven sent 
i always represent 
your rhymes ain't worth a cent
you need to repent 
but don't get bent 
to any extent just be content 
your rhymes are an accident 
I can become benevolent 
as your mind I disorient 

Aha now looks like you wanna dream 
as I spit my extreme supreme theme
my regime will cream your esteem 
make you scream I'm ole school like kareem 
your arse I'll ream check out the grand scheme 
and tomorrow maybe yourself you can redeem

Now you have seen
I don't do in-between 
you still young and green
behind your ears still clean 
I'll eat you up like cuisine from the canteen 
I'm up like caffeine 
you get your vaccine 
none can intervene 
as I now leave you on scene 
you got served a rhyme that's obscene 
I told it was foreseen 
the US blows you out the water like a submarine
giving your spleen 
damage that's unseen

This battle was heavy weight 
I sting like Ali the great 
dealt you straight 
at any rate 
I predate 
you mate 
your big ego you did overrate 
as it I did deflate 
your late pick a date 
I'll wait for your debate 
so don't hate let me again relate
I told you of your fate you was the bait 
the big fish I already ate from my plate 
even the Duchess of Cambridge Kate 
will state and the Queen will equate 
as I dictate she'll translate 
but don't be irate I did sedate 
you before your arse I straight did incinerate

Now take your time try to come hard 
I know your body I scarred your mind i jarred 
then charred with no regard 
to the blows making you act like a retard 
call me captain Piccard because in this show I starred 
you should have kept up your guard 
if you was a lawyer I'd have you disbarred 
I stand unmarred even in your yard your rhymes I discard

So just keep typing 
trying to be big hyping I will take you sniping
as you steadily griping and swiping 
and your nose I'll be wiping 
with this last off rhyme I'll be striking


Copyright © Brenda Chiri | Year Posted 2018


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Football Chant England vs Germany WC2018

(clean version)
You started both the World Wars,
BARSTOOLS! BARSTOOLS!
You started both the World Wars
why would you do that?

Why would you do that?
Why would you do that?
Starting wars with the whole wide world,
why would you do that?

Do you think you're Mars?
Do you think you're Mars?
Starting wars with the whole wide world,
you must think you're Mars.

And yes you do make cars,
yes you do make cars,
but we make flying aero-planes
so shove that up your cars!


Copyright © Nick Trim | Year Posted 2018


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You think you can rhyme, a slam poem

Hey  you think that you can rhyme
Think again as it is useless many times
Sometime it s forced or ending with ing
But the real message behind it is missing
Many times these are useless
Something which need isn t felt

Who told you that your rhyme is good
When most of your sentences can t be understood
You people are nothing but noob
Firstly go and learn what rhyme is
Search it s meaning on wikipedia or search it on youtube

Look at my poems
Which have class as well as rhyme
If doing rhyme would have been a crime
My name would have been on the list prime
police of seven worlds would  have been looking for me
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
For the contest  " you think you can rhyme "


Copyright © Faraz Ajmal | Year Posted 2018