Best Rude Poems

I was at my favorite restaurant and I'd had a lovely meal,
if I finished all my food then a pudding was the deal
I’d relished every...

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(The Contest)

I once knew a gentle poet boy
Pretending to be the real McCoy
   He lost two in a row
   This is...

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you may try to make us feel inferior
strutting around with head held high and mighty
i wonder
is it for our sake
or just to cover up thy...

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heave bursts from lips can both injure or heal
harsh words strike deep the bayonet’s metal
while kind words stroke soft as a rose petal
floral scent~ gardener’s...

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An idyllic Saturday evening scene-
on our street, little kids play
‘touch and go’.  Excited shrieks
and laughter warm the chilled February air, 
pavement alive with little...

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Your love is real 
the love you feel.
Your love is great 
the love you make.
Your records are on fire 
its your desire.
Take me out tonight
and...

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-------------------------------------- ~*note: done in fun and aimed at no one~  



try and seed my name you'll concede to shame
no use in calling names to...

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Rude people who think only of themselves -
I would like to sit atop mantle shelves
Yes, I know that is wrong
but it's where they belong
when they...

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Your rhyme reads like a rap they say,
a rap I say,
a rap they say,
perhaps but rap is rhyme you see,
it's rhyme really,
it's rhyme you see,
this...

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If I

Were exactly what you needed…
you would be mine now. 
I would sadly die however, 
as… if that were true? 
I would be in heaven....

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                        ...

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storm waves amassed
if only I had waited
for the waves to pass
my poetry could have floated 
gently to shore
...

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Home is where the radio is
Paradise is where I am
I miss his cigarettes...His mess
He said "I am smoking the last one"

I'm going to make him...

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Meretricious Spirit

This spirit is modern society’s cancer
Replete with rank, flashy vulgarities
Pervading our social fabric and soul
Unbridled, unbowed, unapologetic;
It can be a curse to mankind itself
Engulfing...

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Mei-Ling was known to kiss and tell
Got worse when she wed Me Hung Well
     With the power of thought
  ...

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I That Because Of Your Attack, Will Never Yield.

No single tear given, nor I gift you an open field
so yes, make merry with your hatred...

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Hey  you think that you can rhyme
Think again as it is useless many times
Sometime it s forced or ending with ing
But the real message...

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Absurd situations amuse me; they get written into poems.
Foolish generalizations about groups of people infuriate me; 
they also get written into poems.
All Irish, all whites,...

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This was written with regard to Jan's poem about the sad truth she discovered yesterday.  An attitude adjustment is desperately needed for anyone who...

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When I was born, who would have thought
I’d grow up to be ruled by a clock.
Clocks mock dreams while hours gawk - 
clicking off our...

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There once was a fellow from Bude
Who loved to play golf in the nude,
Someone quipped "that thing, 
Has a hell of swing,
He sure is one...

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recklessness attacks ego
fury attacks soul
adrenaline attacks viscera
middle digit attacks upward
foot attacks accelerator
vehicle attacks vehicle
hand attacks pistol
lead attacks flesh
remorse attacks fury
gavel attacks sound block
inmate attacks inmate
...

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Unhappy Tommy Macguigan

He wasn't blessed with a big'un

'Twas rather a shrimp

And usually limp,

Poor little thing, best kept hidden. 










...

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If I annoy you
Please tell me
Listen; i will do
If I annoy you
Please tell me
I will put my act together
If I annoy you
Please tell me
I will...

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They’re big fans of themselves
basking in mirrored glory
their own shadows they adore
will talk your ear off
if you let them
they’re everywhere
I unwittingly attract them ~ 
I...

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