Best Donald Trump Poems
(A parody of the Modern Major-General's Song from "The Pirates of Penzance" by Gilbert and Sullivan.)
I am the very model of a very stable genius.
Compared to mine all others’ ...brains... are positively weeny; yes,
My grasp of science, history, and law is astronomical.
No need to read; I go by feel! (It’s highly economical.)
My sober tweets would make a truly fine encyclopedia
For fighting lies of traitors in the damn elitist media.
It’s sad how badly haters hate and treat me like a meanie; yes,
And all because I am, in fact, a very stable genius.
I see the world in black and white; hooray for monochromacy!
It shows the unnecessity of nuance and diplomacy.
No matter what I do, my fans consider me adorable;
Their loyalty to how I roll is not the least deplorable.
A win like mine (I surely could have had a clear majority!)
By common wisdom should confer a little more authority.
In short, I envy autocrats like Kim and Mussolini; yes,
I am the very model of a very stable genius.
Name your next ten children Trump
May all your twins be Donald's
I wish you a Merry Christmas too
With Happy Birthday visions of him
With surfer dude hair very wavy and thin
Almost life like and pretty pink
And may all your New Years be funky
Full of Trump and truck loads of money
Of guns and great walls of China
Made in Taiwan without tariffs
Make Trump your smiley face
I wish you good luck and fortune cookies
May all your corner stores grow large
With products all labeled Trump
Stop being who you are
Make America great again
Let all flags wave with hair
He has plenty left to spare
And spare parts if interested
Make peace on Earth
Make hallucinations linger
Make every moment count
Never give him the finger
God bless us everyone
Especially if your name is Trump
May all nations be united as one
I wish I was Trump
Don't you wish everyone was?
`
Yes, I support the president
I guess that makes me bad
Deplorable, an idiot
And many think I’m mad
When I look back and realize
The freedoms I had lost
I’d vote for him again, again
Because I know the cost
There’s some on here who spin their tales
And many who believe
Not even from the U.S.A
It’s so hard to conceive
Maybe it’s just jealousy
Because we have it good
And if they took the time to look
They’d change, I know they would
At least we don’t pay enemies
(They tried to hide the plan)
Billions in a wooden crate
It's hard to understand
Those cages holding little kids
It makes your smile wilt
Until you all just realize
There one’s Obama built
Yes, we killed a terrorist
We hit him from the sky
Just like B. Obama did
Bin Laden had to die
And now with this impeachment sham
So many loudly cheer
But we will have the final laugh
Election time next year
You see the others scream so loud
With violence and hate
If you do not agree with them
Then you they will negate
So we just keep our voices down
But keep our heads held high
Still standing strong for Donald Trump
While others sit and cry
For it is such a crying shame
This hatred Dems now send
Instead of working hard to make
Our country great again
I worked real hard for what I have
I paid for my own school
Never looked for something free
Does that make me a fool
No one owes me anything
My hand is never out
Except a safer place to live
That’s what it’s all about
So that is it, this piece is done
Just two things left to say
I cast my vote for Donald Trump
And the good old U.S.A.
This will probably reduce my readership on here more than it already is or get me kicked off, but I am entitled to my opinion just like everyone else is.
Well I got some big hair
Sittin' on my big head
Got a big wife
Sleepin' in my big bed -
Got a big reason
For singin' this song -
It's great to be me,
'Cause I'm never wrong.
Gonna build a big wall
To keep them Mexicans out;
Gonna make 'em all pay
"Cause that's what I'm about
Gonna build it high,
Gonna build it long -
It's a good idea,
'Cause I'm never wrong.
You might think I'd care
When the facts don't match-
You might think I'd feel
There was some kinda catch -
But whatever you say,
Whatever you do;
If I say that it's so,
It just has to be true.
I'm never wrong,
I'm never wrong
I'm never wrong
I punish the weak
Because I worship the strong
And that's okay,
'Cause I'm never wrong.
So I got my own plane
To fly over my crowd;
They like me brash,
They like me loud.
They all wanna believe
I'm gonna make 'em great
Though really I think
They're all second-rate.
So I tell 'em the things
I know they wanna hear;
I been tellin' these tales
Since this time last year.
No need for the truth
Or humility -
Just so long as they hate
That gal Hilary.
You might think that I'd blanch
When they call me out,
Or even admit
To a moment of doubt -
But that just wouldn't be me,
Because it wouldn't seem strong;
It might suggest
That I could be wrong.
I'm never wrong
I'm never wrong
I'm never wrong
Gonna have to face Hilary
Before very long -
Then we'll all see
If I'm ever wrong.
Then we'll all see
If I'm ever wrong.
Not-So-Heroic Couplets
by Donald Trump
care of Michael R. Burch
To outfox the pox:
kill yourself first, with Clorox!
And since death is the goal,
mainline Lysol!
No vaccine?
Just chug Mr. Clean!
Is a cure out of reach?
Fumigate your lungs, with bleach!
To immunize your thorax,
destroy it with Borax!
To immunize your bride,
drown her in Opti-cide!
To end all future gridlocks,
gargle with Vaprox!
Now, quick, down the Drain-o
with old Insane-o NoBrain-o!
Trump’s real goals are obvious
and yet millions of Americans remain oblivious.
—Michael R. Burch
Less Heroic Couplets: Just Desserts
by Michael R. Burch
“The West Antarctic ice sheet
might not need a huge nudge
to budge.”
And if it does budge,
denialist fudge
may force us to trudge
neck-deep in sludge!
NOTE: The first stanza is a quote by paleoclimatologist Jeremy Shakun in Science magazine.
Less Heroic Couplets: Miss Bliss
by Michael R. Burch
Domestic “bliss”?
Best to swing and miss!
Less Heroic Couplets: Then and Now
by Michael R. Burch
BEFORE: Thanks to Brexit, our lives will be plush! ...
AFTER: Crap, we’re going broke! What the hell is the rush?
Less Heroic Couplets: Dear Pleader
by Michael R. Burch
Is our Dear Pleader, as he claims, heroic?
I prefer my presidents a bit more stoic.
Less Heroic Couplets: Less than Impressed
by Michael R. Burch
for T. M., regarding certain dispensers of lukewarm air
Their volume’s impressive, it’s true ...
but somehow it all seems “much ado.”
Less Heroic Couplets: Poetry I
by Michael R. Burch
Poetry is the heart’s caged rhythm,
the soul’s frantic tappings at the panes of mortality.
Less Heroic Couplets: Poetry II
by Michael R. Burch
Poetry is the trapped soul’s frantic tappings
at the panes of mortality.
Less Heroic Couplets: Seesaw
by Michael R. Burch
A poem is the mind teetering between fact and fiction,
momentarily elevated.
Less Heroic Couplets: Passions
by Michael R. Burch
Passions are the heart’s qualms,
the soul’s squalls, the brain’s storms.
Keywords/Tags: Donald Trump, coronavirus, president, poet, poems, poetry, heroic couplets, couplet, humor, humorous, Clorox, Lysol, disinfectants, light verse, parody, satire, America, USA, giggle, political, natural disasters
Axe the old Don, a trump peter n piper
of incredulous hellish crud - be gone
ha air brushed pompous ****
Sunkist in Macy's window
then like a jackal hound, he doth run
after public outcry yelps
for his hide leaving
proletarian discord re: pyrrhic victory won.
Donald Duck Trump ™$ - a pompous ass
makes war with his big brass
knuckles and bucket of crass
maligns vis a vis character assassination
while kissing thing kith
darting forked tongue sharp as bro kin glass
inciting banal deathly hallowed
expletives toward lass
sees – especially Fox Television
news anchor woman Megyn Kelly
(quite so many ill mannered indiscretions ago)
inducing said personality
to bear the brunt of brutish mass
of vitriolic n vile insults sacrilegiously
maliciously, noxiously, opprobiously
incriminating, hellaciously,
desecrating opportunistically as hiss oh piss
so…NO amp pull VOTE of confidence from me
(thus far ohm host halfway to 2020 election
toward such a volt char quite rude, snooty
arrogant simian with sass.
I van (terribly hard pressed)
to describe while sitting on me rump
how he oh bomb in lee rages
gnashing false teeth
Wilma backside doth slump
still blasting Democratic nomination
(pa hill a reed) as sham –
from special interest bro and sis turn pump
he, the epitome of
crass bloviation, a malignant lump
whose rants,
sans presidential outcome a shame
bullying with his millions beds this,
that and another woman to bareback jump
disseminating gene pool
birthing more Quakers
and additionally doth hump
the mass media as some foolhardy charade
and caricature of a frazzled grump
this arboreal clothed ape erected Taj Mahal
phallic symbol, where players dump
and gamble away hard earn cash
for his kitty, as if that cachet
to grind and bump
lambasting with maniacal
like "Stormy Dan" yells
leering oafish ill pout
while hair rum
(of red follicular) bulls ad hocks
atop his bulbous aerosol sprayed locks
resemble a flock
of bronzed sea gulls mocks
heady measly shaped Muppet Ox
dis eased cranial hologram shocks
of a cretaceous, facetious tocks
(sic) exogenous, insidious, and obstreperous vox.
Donald Trump won the election
In spite of his true party selection
Not Independent, Democrat or Republican
For he always was and forever will be a Trumpian.
For Clerihew Contest
Sponsored by The Name Forsakes Me
8/02/18
Donald Trump
Is not such a chump
But If he found Cancer cure, brought world peace secure, and economy back from failure
Still by some he’d be seen as a cross between: Hitler, Stalin and Vlad the Impaler
They watch him like a Broad-wing Hawk
In all his comes and goes
He invades their every thought
Bugs them to the bone
He delights in the slip and slide
Like a greased pig in their grasp
Thinking they've got him this time
But they had best not think so fast
They scandalize the scandals
Beat their chests and drums
Walking on a thin line
Hoping to nip him in the bud
He has them on a short leash
They bark at his command
All big dogs is what they think
Tails wagging on the right and left
Every now and then he tosses them
One or two Chicken Little bones
Where they run and scream the sky is falling
It's not like we were not warned
As he sits behind his desk
Plotting his next move
Donald Trump and the Media
....ain't that the truth
In Defence of Donal Trump
He is a crude person, not one I would
like the share a coke with, but he has galvanised
the working class (middle class) which was
shunned under the previous administration.
The class forgotten by other parties have found
a voice someone who talks for them
and more Americans are at work as never before.
He represents an America that is not glib and
university educated but merely want a job and be able
to feel they are listened to.
He is a reckless president does not understand
foreign politics and don`t care to know, but his group
do not care about Afghanistan, Iraq or other places,
he is delivering want they want.
This is what an American president is for?
This is a true poem,but is it true because the "one"who it is about might be "IN""THE SON OF PERDITION"? I WONDER. Donald Trump is the "Duse" in "The Republican Party"and The Duse is taking all!Donald is "Trumping them all"! At the very "Top" remains "Donald J. Trump,and "The Duse continues to "Trump " them all! Donald holds all four duces and throws one out each day,and takes it back as the game proceeds in play!!! Duces are wild,and duses "Trump All" wheather they be aces,kings,jacks,or anything when they are in play,and Donald Trump uses his four "Duses" to take the one duce back that he gave away!! Donald loves to "Play",and he is really in style,because "NO ONE" is beating Donald in "Duses are wild! Donald was a "Gifted Independent Republican Child"! Donald is part of the"Independent Republican Party",because he parties hardy,and now "The Republicans" are "The Majority"!!! They are partying hardy ! Donald Trump says that he has studied "Political Science" for only six months,and Donald ;Trumps,and Trumps,and Trumps,and he is leading all of his Republican contenders everyday,and in every way.His Democratic,and Republican contenders are career politicians who can "Debate" and win,but since Donald Trump took all the "Duces"away from them he is really "Trumping Them All!!! Donald is a "Gifted Independent Republican Republican Man" who "Towers" over them all,and Donald sits "Atop" Trump Tower,and belittles them all! Donald Trump is free to be whom ever he wants to be,because he realizes that he lives in a "Democracy"! Donald Trump is trying to be "The Best" that he can be as President,and his "Duty" is to keep "Freedom"from going into any kind of "Captivity"!!!! Donald is Trumping them all!!
Donald Trump
is no frump.
He wears expensive attire,
and is known for saying "You're Fired!"
Donald Trump,
sometimes a grump.
Arrogant as he can be,
he's running for the Presidency.
8/20/15
What's with this imposter Donald Trump?
For president I'd much prefer Forrest Gump!
His ramblin' views I find difficult to perceive.
Methinks he hides precarious tricks up his sleeve!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
Dedicated to Donald Duck
You are greatly admired
By the following
The deplorables
Kellyanne Conway
She will con you all the way!
Adolph Hitler
Joseph Stalin
Mussolini
Sarah Palin
Pol Pot
Vladimir Putin
Saudi Royals
Palestinian boils
Tayyip Erdogan
Rudy Giuliani
Mike Pence
Chris Christie
Fran Drescher
Denis Rodman
Jesse Ventura
Astor Mark Burns the fraud and con artist
Ben Carson, the brain surgeon who lost his own brain
Now that’s totally insane
Bechir Assad
Kim Jong-un
Dennis Rodmam, Kim Dongs boyfriend
Gene Simmons, Kiss my ass
Zoltan Bathory, stop the drugs man
Loretta Lynn a hick with redneck whims
Bruce Willis is an actor and a racist with no car(e)
Jessica Simpson is blonde and maybe Trump hasnt grabbed her kitten
Sylvester Stallone will soon be all alone
Unless Donald is gay then a bromance is etched in stone
Illusions of self grandeur
Fantasies of men born to slander
Trump is a sleaze and con and a fraud
If you buy in, you’re a chump and a sod
Stop and think, stop the drink
You have choices and diverse options
Build bridges not walls
In the end, together we shall all stand tall
Maybe not, then too late, we shall atomically fall
A narcissist and psycho of that it’s for sure
He takes charitable deductions claiming he is pure
As he evicts the poor and mentally challenged
Who voted for him while being tossed out the door
Notes: With rights come responsibilities, although this is always a balance it seems we as a society are very concerned with out rights and much less with out responsibilities. I encourage anyone who truly cares to go and find a book called “Berlin Diary 1934-1941” and read it. First it’s a personal account of the times, and any book that covers humanity and day to day life for me carries a more humanistic weight to the story, however the main point is this. Hitler said and acted very much in the same way Donald Trump does today. That educated men stand behind Trump as well as many uneducated ones, is sad, they are more concerned with their own careers than doing the right thing. Of note, The Bushes seem to have long before it was popular, distance themselves from Trump.
President Donald Trump
The voting was done,
and Donald Trump won.
So many are glad,
yet quite a few mad.
Voters have spoken...
fix what is broken,
and wipe the slate clean
though hard it may seem.
Democracy rules
to give us new tools
find creative ways
to better our days.
Oft old status quo
is no way to go.
Outsiders at times
can shape new designs
to better the plight,
and shed brighter light.
Think...Ronald Reagan...
values mistaken...
an outsider too,
despised by a few.
This Hollywood star
met President's bar
at last to become
a great number one.
Yet, Trump, right or wrong
is mocked by the throng;
no credit he wins
by those fake-news spins...
on what he's achieved,
they shape unperceived.
Okay, there are things
that agita brings,
and some just can stand
his tweets out of hand.
He is what he is...
perhaps too much fizz,
but gets the job done
and tells you he won.
Our nation at heart...
and zeal off the chart,
let's give him a break...
in backing, partake.
Unity's needed
peacefulness pleaded.
Let's give him a chance
with a cheerful stance.
November 12, 2016 (revised February 5, 2019)
For Contest, 'President Trump',
Sponsored by Anthony Slausen