Best Vogon Poems

sniggle snarp to the i flee
frumple fram to me and ye

hearts a croom and eyes a breen
word from mouthy to me queen...

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Vogon Love Poem attempt NO. 1

I lay here alpaisd
my ugataala resting on your terangela
held captive
by your radiant pherisloosums
listening to you kyrroud rhythmical snrootum
dmyeluc of loocatagle
if...

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Hotwired the orgasmatron
headed out on sixty-nine
know there’s nothin up ahead
and even less behind.
Pagination, pixilation
nothing seems to work
maybe just  I’m gettin old
maybe just a jerk
off...

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Christmas day on planet E
each pine tree
deliciously planted
uprooted

the sky is tinsillated, stars replaced by screwy bulbs

and to top it all off – mind you, like...

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The days so few and far and in-between,
Loneliness I never knew has captured my soul,
The sweet smell of her hair I remember so well,
But even...

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Flammer Me Gimbels #42
(a Vogon Pirate poem)

Flammer me gimbels, me trimbels and dromies,
Whenceforth I caminal scrabbit thy foamies.
Jeerbo or Jabox, ex labbit. Ex findle
Will not...

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The rimpledeeduggs klacklety splatt britly floaming,
Ere flamping drakkurz snazzle at elvitty gloaming;
Yon jamweezy wudderslimps gamwracks smotly crawling,
Hoytaling pagartrimps flotlessly wrothful in bawling!

Beete stell ere yethle...

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Grunttenly I fretted the krakening;
Asthe ship dawns the horizon;
Burtworthy emplosions grafting;
Microrations gobblestone variants;
Up holding yon populats;
Ole!! thy fellows freddled Vogonian;
Banquish thessalonian squall;

4/20/19
written words by James...

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Myself! 

I love myself, 
I know myself, 
I acknowledge myself, 
I accept myself, 
I am myself. 

Myself, myself, myself.
I do love you : myself.
Always always...

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Three minuuts is all me’ve got
to fix sense of it, alles not.
Whutis time in tru sens of tings
wen you and mestart to zings
of lifinluv of...

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NEWS FLASH

get a load of this
utah backward is a sneeze
forgive me utes, please

Dave Austin...

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I will not play this for the rest of my days
Their is nothing to gain
All done in vain
You got what you came for
I know who...

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Gargoyles of deepest night in an island strangest
Preys of mangled bodies they can't digest
Rounded, popping eyes craving with long nails
Caveats of animals eating their own...

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A movie about horror
Characters playing with mirror
Reflecting images of furor
Dissecting with knives of terror

Villains of phantasm
Heels of sarcasm
Viewers of spasm
Breaking apart like chasm

Stories of apparition
Product...

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The beat of the music is knocking from the radio.
It tries to enter her subconscious but the door there won't open. 
She has to finish...

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