Best Vogon Poems

sniggle snarp to the i flee
frumple fram to me and ye

hearts a croom and eyes a breen
word from mouthy to me queen...

Read More

Vogon Love Poem attempt NO. 1

I lay here alpaisd
my ugataala resting on your terangela
held captive
by your radiant pherisloosums
listening to you kyrroud rhythmical snrootum
dmyeluc of loocatagle
if...

Read More

sieve sifting slight blight 
       fickle fact lung flung gargon ~

        ...

Read More

Hotwired the orgasmatron
headed out on sixty-nine
know there’s nothin up ahead
and even less behind.
Pagination, pixilation
nothing seems to work
maybe just  I’m gettin old
maybe just a jerk
off...

Read More

Christmas day on planet E
each pine tree
deliciously planted
uprooted

the sky is tinsillated, stars replaced by screwy bulbs

and to top it all off – mind you, like...

Read More

The days so few and far and in-between,
Loneliness I never knew has captured my soul,
The sweet smell of her hair I remember so well,
But even...

Read More

Flammer Me Gimbels #42
(a Vogon Pirate poem)

Flammer me gimbels, me trimbels and dromies,
Whenceforth I caminal scrabbit thy foamies.
Jeerbo or Jabox, ex labbit. Ex findle
Will not...

Read More

The rimpledeeduggs klacklety splatt britly floaming,
Ere flamping drakkurz snazzle at elvitty gloaming;
Yon jamweezy wudderslimps gamwracks smotly crawling,
Hoytaling pagartrimps flotlessly wrothful in bawling!

Beete stell ere yethle...

Read More

Grunttenly I fretted the krakening;
Asthe ship dawns the horizon;
Burtworthy emplosions grafting;
Microrations gobblestone variants;
Up holding yon populats;
Ole!! thy fellows freddled Vogonian;
Banquish thessalonian squall;

4/20/19
written words by James...

Read More

Myself! 

I love myself, 
I know myself, 
I acknowledge myself, 
I accept myself, 
I am myself. 

Myself, myself, myself.
I do love you : myself.
Always always...

Read More

NEWS FLASH

get a load of this
utah backward is a sneeze
forgive me utes, please

Dave Austin...

Read More

I will not play this for the rest of my days
Their is nothing to gain
All done in vain
You got what you came for
I know who...

Read More

Migel your habs cruggled to a stone
                  ...

Read More

Everybody got a Hollywood life story
to tell
More meat on the bone
give juicier bites 
to sell
Nobody ever turns in a tarnished silver screenplay
Those warts and mistakes
get...

Read More

I wrote alit from the mine
the turkey not a mind
of digging the best out of a hole
to get the liver the heart and the neck
and...

Read More

See, see the splurptious sky
Marvel at its big Mauve depths.
Tell me, dingle, do you
Wonder why the Aardvark ignores you?

Why its foobly stare
makes you feel Crappy.
I...

Read More

The beat of the music is knocking from the radio.
It tries to enter her subconscious but the door there won't open. 
She has to finish...

Read More

He has been born with the power to control
He sees the things around him are in a row
He observes what those things are meticulously
He thinks...

Read More

THIRD WORST CLATTER OF ANTIMATTER

clatter of antimatter
alien dishes splatter
(the shape of spaceships)

     his antennas* whir with rising
    ...

Read More

An elusive pedestal amidst the lights darkens the lounge
And many drink with a glittering eye of scorn
And the snickers only make the room spin faster
And...

Read More

Gargoyles of deepest night in an island strangest
Preys of mangled bodies they can't digest
Rounded, popping eyes craving with long nails
Caveats of animals eating their own...

Read More

A movie about horror
Characters playing with mirror
Reflecting images of furor
Dissecting with knives of terror

Villains of phantasm
Heels of sarcasm
Viewers of spasm
Breaking apart like chasm

Stories of apparition
Product...

Read More

A female gymnast in Romania
Sweet girl's name is Nadia
Went to a castle passed Brasov
A legendary castle, not of Romanov

Elegant and so cozy
To stay is nonchalant...

Read More

Under the creepy tree
Lies a haunted bee, living so free
Comes around, goes around
In a shredded house buried underground

No curse can cease the flying bee
No spell...

Read More

If we had the brilliance of stars,
we wouldn't be joyless beings.

We'll ask the somber moon to tell us tales,
and forever under her charm, we'll be...

Read More