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Best Vogon Poems | Poetry

Below are the all-time best Vogon poems written by Poets on PoetrySoup. These top poems in list format are the best examples of vogon poems written by PoetrySoup members

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48 Awesome street by Boys, SillyToy
groper by low, gate
glass houses and stones and trolleys by low, gate
That Cute Little Smile by Antwi, Elizabeth
metro bank by low, gate
Intellectual Architects by Robinson Jr., Freddie
trolley for village deal by low, gate
can dear deidre be sued for wrong information by low, gate
Hide the Details by Robinson Jr., Freddie
Vogon Love by PoetrySoup, Team

View all new Vogon Poems

The Best Vogon Poems

Details | Vogon Poem | Create an image from this poem.


Hotwired the orgasmatron
headed out on sixty-nine
know there’s nothin up ahead
and even less behind.
Pagination, pixilation
nothing seems to work
maybe just  I’m gettin old
maybe just a jerk
off that is
gee whiz
can’t ya take a joke?
Lost in smoke
years since last toke 
days since last drink
I think.
As ya'll can see
rhyme don't agree 
with me, 
so back to blank 
slate, mate
and the cheque's 
on you.
Iambic to the core
commonman’s  snore
such a bore.
Straight from the soul
infinite whole
or is that hole,
wasn’t  this 
supposed to be 
Never know
have to go

Copyright © D.W. Rodgers | Year Posted 2014

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Different faces:

The days so few and far and in-between,
Loneliness I never knew has captured my soul,
The sweet smell of her hair I remember so well,
But even with her, I was never quite whole.

My nights too are lonely and blue,
Memories fading into the distance again,
How do I abide when all my youth I have spent,
In taverns and bars with occasional friends.

Nobody warned me I'd be sitting alone,
I guess I always figured, life just goes on,
So here I sit contemplating my fate,
Wondering all the time where did I go wrong.

Interpreting meanings that make no sense,
Floundering my time in various places,
Never seeing the light that shines so bright,
When I look into the mirror I see different faces.

There is a spark but it will not ignite,
There are steps but they have no spring,
Lost in the ocean just one of mankind,
Like a prayer that cannot sing.

Copyright © White Wolf | Year Posted 2016

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Christmas day on planet E
each pine tree
deliciously planted

the sky is tinsillated, stars replaced by screwy bulbs

and to top it all off – mind you, like a cherry on top

a fat man in a red suit is flying through outer space

a  U N I V E R S A L  catastrophe 

Copyright © Kim Rodrigues | Year Posted 2016

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Vogon Love

sniggle snarp to the i flee
frumple fram to me and ye

hearts a croom and eyes a breen
word from mouthy to me queen

Copyright © Team PoetrySoup | Year Posted 2018

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get a load of this
utah backward is a sneeze
forgive me utes, please

Dave Austin

Copyright © daver austin | Year Posted 2014

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I will not play this for the rest of my days
Their is nothing to gain
All done in vain
You got what you came for
I know who you are
The victory is yours 
We will live with our scar
We will pass through this darkness into the light
and leave you behind...Hopefully......You will do what is right......

Copyright © Ninette Carey | Year Posted 2014

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Vogon poem

Vogon Love Poem attempt NO. 1

I lay here alpaisd
my ugataala resting on your terangela
held captive
by your radiant pherisloosums
listening to you kyrroud rhythmical snrootum
dmyeluc of loocatagle
if only I had some of the blankets

Copyright © scott thirtyseven | Year Posted 2015

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Migel your habs

                               Migel your habs cruggled to a stone
                              In Hoppsberry he frailed a rubbingone
                         Dan Shane and Mirrabelene snogged the day
                                    Upon the fritful Lubbenderry

                                   So the Bennets grubbed a ree
                                For queen Lodd who went for a tee
                         Mill Flogginben flonked in the month of May
                                Slurpped berrettidos for cabalerry

Copyright © RAJAT KANTI CHAKRABARTY | Year Posted 2015

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Ode 32 111 102 32 97 32 98 97 108 108 32 111 102 32 115 110 111 116

See, see the splurptious sky
Marvel at its big Mauve depths.
Tell me, dingle, do you
Wonder why the Aardvark ignores you?

Why its foobly stare
makes you feel Crappy.
I can tell you, it is
Worried by your crumbobulous facial growth

That looks like
A Rotten fish.
What's more, it knows
Your flarpgurgle potting shed

Smells of a ball of snot.
Everything under the big splurptious sky
Asks why, why do you even bother?
You only charm aliens?

Copyright © Rick Eichelberg | Year Posted 2014

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for the world

I wrote alit from the mine
the turkey not a mind
of digging the best out of a hole
to get the liver the heart and the neck
and stuffing you must be out of your mind
thank you did it all thank you my last word
a tralala give me a party only me invited
at your no sense know a full moon

Copyright © catherine labeau | Year Posted 2015

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Is the Church Moving

He has been born with the power to control
He sees the things around him are in a row
He observes what those things are meticulously
He thinks of best ways to make use of them technically
He devises various means to reach the aim
He makes mistakes to bring the tame
He gets what he desires
He puts to practice getting the things he admires
He gets the catch:
‘i’m in charge’
He has really come of age
He is the man image

Copyright © Chimezie Ihekuna | Year Posted 2016

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Sophie's Sofa

An elusive pedestal amidst the lights darkens the lounge
And many drink with a glittering eye of scorn
And the snickers only make the room spin faster
And indifferent fingers fashion you forlorn
But you can't help but notice that strange caster

There upon the sofa
That impossible being feeding off her little bird
Flings a silhouette in the brittle blight 
Every sickness is now blurred
It looks upon you before taking flight

Copyright © Sam Blake | Year Posted 2015

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The Stars Of A Beautiful Constellation

If we had the brilliance of stars,
we wouldn't be joyless beings.

We'll ask the somber moon to tell us tales,
and forever under her charm, we'll be listening...
explaining that existence is an exhilarating feeling;
only the unlearned can't understand where it ends.
Surely, the scientists figured out its beginnings
with mere notions that many are rejecting.

Can we ever be 
the stars of a beautiful
constellation and be grand?
Yes, earthlings seek worlds
that stir their curious mind
and their adventurous soul!

written on 5/ 11/ 2017

Copyright © Andrew Crisci | Year Posted 2017

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The Doors of the Subconscious

The beat of the music is knocking from the radio.
It tries to enter her subconscious but the door there won't open. 
She has to finish the lunches; then vacuum; sponge the kitchen floor
 And now it's time to go to the gym. 
She does this three times a week Tuesday and Thursday at the same time, 11:00 in the morning and Saturday's at 1:00 pm. 
Two hours of resistance training. 
She does a circuit, her circuit. 
It is a well planned routine, It is her routine. 
It will keep her fit and toned and alive for a few extra years.

As she drives to her workout the radio is knocking again. Knocking, softly, gently at the door that guards the stories she won't talk about.  
The places she won't go to and those things that she forbids herself to do.

Copyright © Daniel Biocchi | Year Posted 2015

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love is based on love you do not need to bag someone to love you can start by loving your self.                       love,love ,love. the os no meaning of love is  known in all diferent ways love is expresed in diferant forms .                          family is one  of the  important people you may can not live your life without family beeng a part of it .                     no one can teach you how to love you just have to find it your self.

Copyright © ayanda mabaso | Year Posted 2016

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third worst in the universe
spinning out of control
out of control




really bad…i know

Earth date:  12/13/2016

Copyright © Kim Rodrigues | Year Posted 2016

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clatter of antimatter
alien dishes splatter
(the shape of spaceships)

     his antennas* whir with rising
     he considers going wireless

a dish flying at warp speed
like a zillion cyclonic bats
(female Vogon shriek encapsulated by rage)

     the creaming of eggs
     the earth took a beating
     (local yokels evaporating)**

the pounding of this poem
pretty bad prose
destruction of the first and second worst verse

     because everyone knows a Vogon
     must clink and clank
     on its dink and dank typewriter***

the third worst clatter of antimatter
mama Vogon whisks their deadpan bottoms
if you think your kids make noise
you’ve never heard a Vogon cry

D…o….n, well f…i…n…i…t,

Fingers smack on each key, pounding little hammers.
Zip..(return carriage)
How oh how did those earthlings type with these
Zip…(return carriage)
But this is rather priceless after earth’s fiasco

Shadow Hamilton’s The Noise contest

*American television show depicted a martian with antennas
that would rise from his head “My Favorite Martian”

**Local yokels – an inhabitant of a particular locale

***Everyone knows that a Vogon doesn’t know the “meaning”
of the Universe (or words for that matter)

Copyright © Kim Rodrigues | Year Posted 2017

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Money is a bad thing
but it could be good
like donating to the poor
so they could have more
But it could be bad.....
like people worshiping money
and being selfish
money could be cruel 
but they who have it
it may not be you 
but listen if you don't have that much money
people will not be wicked
you may get married
just because of the money
but you want someone 
that loves you for who you are
not of what you have....
-Justin Fields

Copyright © Justin Fields | Year Posted 2016

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Copyright © James Lennim | Year Posted 2016

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Hide the Details

Everybody got a Hollywood life story
to tell
More meat on the bone
give juicier bites 
to sell
Nobody ever turns in a tarnished silver screenplay
Those warts and mistakes
get Photoshop casting couch edited away
Baby Jane rude attitude don’t make the cut
Knife in the back ...
unfriend me Alan Ladd attacks
are given no alimony Alamo 
Jim Bowie trailer publicity gossip scuttlebutt
Flash only the best Angelina smile
when the Alfie Hitchcock cameras roll
Oscar-winning performance style,
looking thru a tinted Vertigo window
Got sexy Brad Pitt eyes that Brando glow
But kissable Bacall lips 
don’t tell all that they Marlon know
Oh, Lauren say it ain't so!
Que sera sera, Que sera sera
Lovely Doris Day
Pretty Woman 
Viva Las Vegas Jolie ... 

Change the character plot
in the middle of the Elvis Presley movie
Hide the dirty Snow White details ... 
only let ‘em hear
34th Street Miracle Rosebud sleigh bells
Acting real Harry Belafonte, being so Lena Horne ...
still won’t hide the Carmen Jones stormy weather truth
A Dorothy Dandrige Star ~ West Side Story Born
got Judy Garland ways, so Phillip Marlowe super sleuth
Trading Places tabloid box office ticket trails,
peddling access to the premiere party
Hide the scandal, gloss over the gross details
A-list companions: Graceful Gene Kelly
and cool Spike Lee
smoozing with sexy starlet Hallie Berry
Gotta goody, goody
red carpet market the film
Indie producers never like to go out 
on a self-credit bad rep limb
Glida guile strongly Hayworth suggest
to script hide any weak supporting details
Best director auto bios Deja Vu invest, 
be bumping a dapper Denzel angle to sell
Color Purple ugly costumes 
duly love to makeup a nice,
Cinderella low-budget 
Fairytale projector spin
Hiding the unsavory plumes ... 
Fatal Attraction detail price 
be the Ruby Dee nugget 
Lords of Illusion reel end

Some Bette Davis souls wear Three Faces of Eve,
you never know which one they got on
Today, a different Margo personality 
said the other hidden faces got the details wrong
Plenty Hollywood stars fell from the sky,
and a few Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
Keeping their McMurphy’s Law stumbles secret, 
they never Nurse Ratched tell you why
Hide the details in a Errol Flynn pirate treasure chest,
say Humphrey Bogart told you not to tell no one else
Or there might be Mutiny on the Bounty,
so make sure you keep it real close to the vest
The more they don’t know about Marty,
the Strawberry Blonde risk gets critiqued less
Write down to The Last Detail, 
keep it Buddusky hidden well
With every frail Marilyn misled Monroe fail,
there’s always another shape-shifting story on sale
Those hip Jayne lips never gonna Mansfield reveal
Some like the details Tony Curtis hot ...
but It Takes A Thief to keep it hidden well
Because everybody 
got a Hollywood blockbuster life story to sell

Copyright © Freddie Robinson Jr. | Year Posted 2018

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I know your knees

         Last Quack Poetry

I Know Your Knees so I write poetry.

The Flow of Trees... also, Poetry!

A Row of Bees?

Yep... Poetry!

A Chicken Wing?

That's poultry.



    Psychiatrist:   How long ya been sleepin' on the roof?

    Me:   Don't gimme no flack you QUACK Quack Quack Quack  QUACK QUACK QUACK...  QUACK?

Copyright © Robert Warlov | Year Posted 2017

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Over Mine

You hold my hand
Fingers crossed over mine

Told me that we will be fine
Fingers crossed over mine

Smiled and kissed me on my head
Fingers crossed over mine

Gave me a feeling very warm
Arms crossed over mine

Kept your head on my shoulder
Arms crossed over mine

Gave your love wonderful and kind
Tears drop over mine

Hold your breath and so will i
Tears drop over mine

Setting sun will rise
Your shoulder over mine

Kissed me every moment and every time
Your lips over mine
Your lips over mine.

Copyright © barun lama | Year Posted 2017

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There Was No Choice

Go chase them from their dugouts,
Go chase them from their trench,
bayonet all their Look outs,
ignore their dead’s foul stench.

Tomorrow you go over,
The top, that is my lads,
and there is very little chance,
of your return from France.

The rattle of machine guns,
displace a man with space,
That space, is Soon refilled,
with another of his race.

'No man's Land,' is where they die,
their bodies all strewn around like chaff,
with eyes unblinking, to the sky,
Never again to smile or laugh.

This was the war,to end all wars,
Well that hope now lies buried,,
Man cannot close, hell's gaping doors,
his hope of peace, a losing cause.

It is not the dead that answer ,
When you ask the question why,
But they showed us by example,
How to live and how to die.

Their lives they gave, for freedom’s sake, 
To save Our heritage , their dream,
To remember them all, is the pledge we take, 
Our debt  their sacrifice,  to redeem.

© a month ago, Damian Cranney

Copyright © Damian Cranney | Year Posted 2017

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A Avatar fantasy

A Avatar as green as can be 
Her skin so green that matches her zodiac nature
Her hair are as long silk like vines.
Her shiny armors are to powerful against human nature
A woman warrior indeed she is.
Her army suits are a perfect fit like a warrior princess.
Everything matches with nothing out of place.
When the wind blow her hair flows and smell like cherries.
She attracted the fools for love that like to be at her feet.
She will turn you to stone ice with a glare like Medusa.
Not even a prayer could save your soul from her glance.
Her throne she rules is made of gold and burgundy.
The floors are crystal and crystal clear.
Don't get her angry for if you dare, you won't be able to escape the revelation she prepare.

Copyright © Nagella Jean-Baptiste | Year Posted 2017

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The Process

It isn't strong, It isn't clever
It won't guide you to fairer weather
Won't lead you to clearer water
Or help you better raise our daughter 

See this persona's just a new shoe 
Though it may fit, doesn't mean it suits you
And I remember the songs that formed you 
Brought to tears but never tamed you. 

For you were wild beneath your weakness
And your smile lit up the sky
Deceived my spirit with your sweetness
Made you all my reasons why 

Without you life's a little colder
But like the first leap into a lake
Sometimes the prize for being bolder
Comes as it takes our breath away 

It isn’t wrong, it is forever
Won’t be long before it’s severed
Wasn’t god that put asunder
Was just a lie I laboured under

It’s true my heart’s a little harder
But this new grit just takes me farther
Scales the heights of my endeavour
And leads me to my next adventure. 

Copyright © Christian Howes | Year Posted 2017