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Best Burlesque Poems

Below are the all-time best Burlesque poems written by Poets on PoetrySoup. These top poems in list format are the best examples of burlesque poems written by PoetrySoup members


A Bad Day at the Eye Doctor's- a true story
"It was 6 or 7 years ago
Or so I'd like to think
I traveled to my eye doctor..
(I should'a seen a "shrink"!!)

My dad and I we...

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© tom bell  Create an image from this poem.
Categories: funny, life, mystery, me,



Premium Member The Poetic Justice
As legend has it, there lived Bai Balkhash, a rich man
In the North regions of the then Soviet Kazakhstan
Had a beautiful daughter Ili who was...

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Categories: romance,

Kissing a fat woman
Kissing the lips of a fat woman 
Is delicious like Tania 
It feels like sliding on the slippery floor 
But you only will not fall...

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Categories: love hurts,

Clouded Mirror
The riveting and winding complexity of this dated device moans in the grinds of it's exhausted exterior. 

Delicate though precise it punctures through the malice...

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© Paul K K  Create an image from this poem.
Categories: allegory, appreciation, beauty, emotions,

Chloee and Reginald The Stand Down Dachshund Comedians

One

Chloee? Yes Reginald! 
Why do they call us Dachshunds, Wiener Dogs?
Maybe they call you a Wiener Reginald!
You cut me off at the legs with that one...

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Categories: funny, humor, humorous, roses

Exotic Dancer
Do people think you are sleazy and bad,
since the day you replied to that want ad?
The words were in black and white, and plain.
“No Experience...

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Categories: life, on work and

Satan in my Bowels
Satan in my bowels
All I can say is 'ow'
Cringing and churning
My biscuits are burning
I’m praying for relief
Some sort of lanolin leaf
Wondering why I wasn’t born
Before...

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Categories: funny, introspection, nature,

Rude Hood
Once there was a girl, little hood,

She was a fine mamma, looking good.

Hood decided to take a walk

Didn’t see the wolf watching her like a...

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Categories: funnybaby, baby,

It's all in the swing
Who says I’m getting old?
My hairs are not gray
Its beautiful sterling silver
The finest silver around
Who says I’m getting old?
My face isn’t bright red
I’m not having...

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Categories: funny

HIV Positive
HIV Positive

I am HIV positive that I know,
But I will exercise my civic right,
As my blood continues to flow,
For my views to be heard I...

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Categories: health, me, me,

THE CLEVERNESS OF THAT YOUNG TRAVELER
Once his brown alpargata shoes trod countless miles,
imagination burst from his vivid, traveler's eyes...
He traversed valleys leading to azure mountains,
and heard a chant sung with...

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Categories: life, nature, nostalgia, peoplewords,

Premium Member ADDICTION

I want you gone
so why are you still holding on
I don't need you any more!
so let me go, go on 
I've shown you the door
I've...

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Categories: addiction, conflict, faith,

Smelly Poop
Poop is a smelly thing
poop is far from clean
when I poop, I poop on the pot
when I poop, I poop a lot
It's big and brown...

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Categories: funny,

Premium Member A Hummerous Life
In times like this it’s pertinent to stroke the longest cord
for hummer is impertinent and seldom brings discord.
Each slippery politician who runs yelling, “Come on...

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Categories: funny, political, satire,

The Body Pillow
I have trouble sleeping,
Yes, that's true,
No matter how many blankets heaping,
They all wind up on the floor,
Yes, that's makin' me blue,
And I don't wanna' stay...

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© tom bell  Create an image from this poem.
Categories: adventure, funny, satire,

Man
I’m a man
In case you couldn’t see
I don’t use the word “poopie”
And I’m addicted to TV
I’m a man
Who doesn't have time to bleed
But who still...

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Categories: father, funny, introspection, life,

Thank you
I had forgotten the world 
As in love with you was I 
Now I thank you for the treachery 
I’m very much aware of the...

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Categories: lost love, world,

The Saucers Have Arrived!!!
they're here!
the saucers I've waited for...
It's hard to believe...
we've waited so long!

with a sense of wonder,
and a sense of joy...
at their arrival....
oh boy!...oh boy!...

yes, this...

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© tom bell  Create an image from this poem.
Categories: adventure, funny, mystery, parody,

Is It Just Me?
I wonder if I'm crazy,
It seems as though I am
I'm puzzled by so many things
Like what makes grape jelly
different from grape jam?

Or how anyone could...

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© tom bell  Create an image from this poem.
Categories: confusion, funny, health, mystery,

a reading
“the eyes of my eyes opened” as
the door when she came in, late
and embarrassed, click of a
shutter into “the ear of my ear” a
whispered ‘hi’...

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Categories: adventure, imagination, introspection,

Freddy the Fly Meets Sidney the Spider
Freddy the Fly
Meandering on
the ceiling one day,
Suddenly got a "heads up!"

He glimpsed from 
three hundred or so,
Of his left side eyes,
A sight guaranteed
To make a...

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© tom bell  Create an image from this poem.
Categories: adventure, fantasy, nature,

Sweatin' The Small Stuff
Don't sweat the small stuff, they say...
I see it, a different way....
Small problems easily become big,
Make you pull your hair out,
So you gotta' wear a...

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© tom bell  Create an image from this poem.
Categories: funny, happiness, health, life,

Horrendous Hobyah Hordes Hijack Hamptonshire
The Scots, by God,
They drove them out,
With a single Yorkie
At their heels a' yappin'
The Hobyahs tried to fly
Their arms they were a flappin'

Some managed to...

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© tom bell  Create an image from this poem.
Categories: adventure, imagination, parody, people,

Yodels, Chocolate Chip Cookies, and Ring-Dings
it doesn't take a lot
to make some people happy
a midnight snack of goodies
with that, oh so sweet, cold milk

could be Malomars,Fig Newtons,
or those yummy chocolate...

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© tom bell  Create an image from this poem.
Categories: adventure, food, funny, imagination,

Sleep Remedy
I've told you how desperate
I am for sleep,
And I got a suggestion
It made me leap
Simplicity itself ; earslugs!

So I went out on a slug hunt,
Without...

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© tom bell  Create an image from this poem.
Categories: adventure, confusion, fantasy, funny,