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Best Burlesque Poems

Below are the all-time best Burlesque poems written by Poets on PoetrySoup. These top poems in list format are the best examples of burlesque poems written by PoetrySoup members

A Bad Day At the Eye Doctor's- a True Story
"It was 6 or 7 years ago
Or so I'd like to think
I traveled to my eye doctor..
(I should'a seen a "shrink"!!)

My dad and I we...

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© Tom Bell  Create an image from this poem.
Categories: funny, life, mystery, me,
Form: Burlesque

Premium Member The Poetic Justice
As legend has it, there lived Bai Balkhash, a rich man
In the North regions of the then Soviet Kazakhstan
Had a beautiful daughter Ili who was...

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Categories: romance,
Form: Burlesque
Kissing a Fat Woman
Kissing the lips of a fat woman 
Is delicious like Tania 
It feels like sliding on the slippery floor 
But you only will not fall...

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Categories: love hurts,
Form: Burlesque
Clouded Mirror
The riveting and winding complexity of this dated device moans in the grinds of it's exhausted exterior. 

Delicate though precise it punctures through the malice...

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© Paul K K  Create an image from this poem.
Categories: allegory, appreciation, beauty, emotions,
Form: Burlesque
Premium Member Chloee and Reginald the Stand Down Dachshund Comedians

Chloee? Yes Reginald! 
Why do they call us Dachshunds, Wiener Dogs?
Maybe they call you a Wiener Reginald!
You cut me off at the legs with that one...

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Categories: funny, humor, humorous, roses
Form: Burlesque

Smelly Poop
Poop is a smelly thing
poop is far from clean
when I poop, I poop on the pot
when I poop, I poop a lot
It's big and brown...

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Categories: funny,
Form: Burlesque
Exotic Dancer
Do people think you are sleazy and bad,
since the day you replied to that want ad?
The words were in black and white, and plain.
“No Experience...

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Categories: life, on work and
Form: Burlesque
What is the state of the language?
How should we use the words?
How much can we elaborate
Before we're dismissed as nerds?...

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Categories: education,
Form: Burlesque
Satan In My Bowels
Satan in my bowels
All I can say is 'ow'
Cringing and churning
My biscuits are burning
I’m praying for relief
Some sort of lanolin leaf
Wondering why I wasn’t born

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Categories: funny, introspection, nature,
Form: Burlesque
It's All In the Swing
Who says I’m getting old?
My hairs are not gray
Its beautiful sterling silver
The finest silver around
Who says I’m getting old?
My face isn’t bright red
I’m not having...

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Categories: funny
Form: Burlesque
Rude Hood
Once there was a girl, little hood,

She was a fine mamma, looking good.

Hood decided to take a walk

Didn’t see the wolf watching her like a...

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Categories: funnybaby, baby,
Form: Burlesque
Premium Member A Hummerous Life
In times like this it’s pertinent to stroke the longest cord
for hummer is impertinent and seldom brings discord.
Each slippery politician who runs yelling, “Come on...

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Categories: funny, political, satire,
Form: Burlesque
I’m a man
In case you couldn’t see
I don’t use the word “poopie”
And I’m addicted to TV
I’m a man
Who doesn't have time to bleed
But who still...

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Categories: father, funny, introspection, life,
Form: Burlesque
Hiv Positive
HIV Positive

I am HIV positive that I know,
But I will exercise my civic right,
As my blood continues to flow,
For my views to be heard I...

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Categories: health, me, me,
Form: Burlesque
The Body Pillow
I have trouble sleeping,
Yes, that's true,
No matter how many blankets heaping,
They all wind up on the floor,
Yes, that's makin' me blue,
And I don't wanna' stay...

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© Tom Bell  Create an image from this poem.
Categories: adventure, funny, satire,
Form: Burlesque
The Cleverness of That Young Traveler
Once his brown alpargata shoes trod countless miles,
imagination burst from his vivid, traveler's eyes...
He traversed valleys leading to azure mountains,
and heard a chant sung with...

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Categories: life, nature, nostalgia, peoplewords,
Form: Burlesque
I want you gone
so why are you still holding on
I don't need you any more!
so let me go, go on 
I've shown you the door

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Categories: addiction, conflict, faith,
Form: Burlesque
Premium Member The Yin Yang of Kiss My Ass
If I had to make a choice I would rather hate intelligently than to love stupidly....

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Categories: absence, addiction, anger, anti
Form: Burlesque
Premature Ex

An old Ethiopian veteran of the love wars 
once told a newlywed Kenyan kid:
If you want the infant marriage to survive,
make it to the golden...

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Categories: allegory, marriage, philosophy, truth,
Form: Burlesque
Is It Just Me?
I wonder if I'm crazy,
It seems as though I am
I'm puzzled by so many things
Like what makes grape jelly
different from grape jam?

Or how anyone could...

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© Tom Bell  Create an image from this poem.
Categories: confusion, funny, health, mystery,
Form: Burlesque
The Saucers Have Arrived!!!
they're here!
the saucers I've waited for...
It's hard to believe...
we've waited so long!

with a sense of wonder,
and a sense of joy...
at their arrival....
oh boy!...oh boy!...

yes, this...

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© Tom Bell  Create an image from this poem.
Categories: adventure, funny, mystery, parody,
Form: Burlesque
Smells Like Government

Rancid lemon rope squeeze
around a rotten tomato neck tie,
crooked odor bow hanging out of place 
Acid reflux raisin tax bleed;
dripping spoiled, milquetoast lies
out a sour-twisted,...

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Categories: corruption, satire, truth, word
Form: Burlesque
Premium Member Third Grade Recitation
My cousin and I were dismayed
By the kids who were in her third grade
They had no answers to tell
Though they spoke very well
And knew how...

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Categories: political, psychological, student, truth,
Form: Burlesque
Thank You
I had forgotten the world 
As in love with you was I 
Now I thank you for the treachery 
I’m very much aware of the...

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Categories: lost love, world,
Form: Burlesque
"Don't play badly"
Say those who play well
To those for whom the difference is
Impossible to tell...

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Categories: music,
Form: Burlesque