Best Nursery Rhyme Poems

Once, a long ways away, and a long time ago
Lived a wee little man with his silly pet crow;
And once every day, as the sun...

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Jack and Jill went up the hill
With thoughts of making love
Jack hadn’t got a condom 
So cut a finger off Jill’s glove
The glove was far...

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It was not long ago
By the reck'ning of things
You were yet a wee one
Yet under our wing-
But now you have grown up
Like snow follows Spring...

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An apple is Red,
I like eating bread,
Banana is yellow,
I am jolly fellow,
Pear is green,
I am neat and clean,
Coconut is brown,
I am little clown,
All fruits are...

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It's up there
The star that shines for me
Named on the day I was born
My guiding light, shines free

When I was a baby
My mam sang to...

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Humpty Dumpty fell off the top of the wall
He got on the phone and gave his lawyer a call
With help from the lawyer and litigation...

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Old King Troll
Had a very long pole
And a very long pole had he
He called for his wife (she’s his trouble and strife) 
And he called...

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A furry little caterpillar
Crawled onto my knee
He turned into a butterfly
And landed in a tree

Beside him was a humming bird 
Sucking pollen from a rose
When...

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Sing a song of sickness after a barrel full of rye
Two men drank the whiskey and soon they were pie eyed
They woke up in a...

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I chanced upon Polly Wolly 
Walking one day after school
Clearly without her doodle
Something she thought she'd never lose

She told me she had sat it down
As...

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Bring me a child to eat
I'm too weak to stand on my feet
All I need is meat
So bring me a child to eat....

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You shouldn't poke at monkeys
	unless you're a dummkopf
Who gets precisely what's deserved --
	your fingers bitten off....

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Baby doesn't like the 'peases'.
She spits them out, as she pleases.
I still have that childish vice
But spitting peas isn't nice.

Avoiding them is hard to do.
They're...

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Far Away, Far Away

Children when you dream at night you may see an awesome sight!
Magic fairies in the dew near trilliums of snow white hue.
You...

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In the bushes lurked a man
Keeping handy 
Bits of candy
Luring children in the bushes
Where he hit them,
Scratched them, bit them.

If a man hides in the...

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One cent, two cents,
	Nickel and dime
Two bits, four bits,
	A dollar this time.

Ship me a grasshopper
	Do me a crime
Fly like a whippoorwill 
	O'er Anaheim....

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When Old Mother Hubbard
Examined her cupboard
And found not a scrap there to munch on...
Not one morsel that clung
To an ort or a crumb…
She felt foolish...

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I kept those little pigs alive
to stall the beasty, pursed to huff,
while piglets fled and still survive.

They live immortal and contrive
the hungry masher to rebuff.
I...

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Monday’s child will slap your face,
Tuesday’s child is a disgrace,
Wednesday’s child stamps on your toe,
Thursday’s child just won’t go,
Friday’s child is most unforgiving,
Saturday’s child won’t...

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My Monster

Every week on Good Friday I get restless
Palpitations rise for my week end disasters
A monster boldly barges into my silent abode
Depriving me of my...

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Ten little golden girls swung from a vine
One branch broke, and then there were nine.

Nine little golden girls went to skate
One fell through a crack,...

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(ohw! ohw! ohwwwww!)
The wolves are out tonight.
“Tread lightly”, echoes father’s words,
“and stay clear of their sight”.

Excited by, my first hallo
to stars and moon so bright.
Excited...

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Marie Curie
Madam Curie
For a girl, she’s pretty nerdy.
Played with physics
Played with chem
Nobel Prize in both of them.
Came from Poland
French with patience
Tumors cured with radiation
Marie Curie
Married...

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Red hood
Girl good
 
Nan ill
No pill
 
Mum dumb
No chum
 
Wolf bad
Bit mad
…………………………………………………………………..
Wolf munch
Nan lunch
 
Wolf chew
Red too

Huntsman
Has plan
 
Wolf snip
Unzip
 
Red free
Whoopee 
 
Nan...

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Mary had a little lamb
The birth was quite a sensation
It should go down in the history books
She needed a lot of sedation

Three little piggies went...

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