Best Humor Poems

I stand about five feet eight
I'll admit, I'm a tad overweight
Drive an old pick up truck
Not one to pass the buck
At the moment have a...

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Trees wear a gown of bright emerald green
Where birds are nesting in branches up high
Parents shield fledglings so they can’t be seen
Until they can spread...

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She had so many chances
     Yet she kept muffin it up
Butter intentions were good
     Just not much...

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"Rhyming poems have nothing of substance to say
They're childish! Ridiculous! Silly! Passe!

What's that - 'The Raven,' fine prose, you assure?
Pshaw, a talking bird is not...

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When 
When did a bed become your prison
I see your strength absorbed
Absorbed by the mattress 
I turn you
Trying to prevent sores
Who would have thought soft...

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To all the pens I’ve lost before
That rolled off my desk and, on the floor
I’m glad they came along
I dedicate this song
To all the pens...

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Twenty first of October in two thousand and eighteen
Was the worst disaster poetry soup had seen
Poems wiped off the website as all the poets slept
When...

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Since I've resolved to laugh at life-
   find humor in its flaws,
      and realize that stress and strife
are...

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The morning was crisp and frosty
    as the Earth yearned for autumn's heat.
Darkness gave way to a fractured dawn
   ...

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```Pirate Bay the Haiku``` 

pirates fierce and mean 
drowning fish, sea to sea 
parrots on their butt 


```Polly Wants A Cracker``` 

bloodthirst & brutal 
Quartermaster...

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When my time is done and I am finally laid to rest
I don’t want to be recalled as one who lived life depressed

So as I...

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You said age's only a number, beauty's skin deep
Wise words to live by, now if I could only sleep
Humor never can be taken away, have...

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You have all heard I am sure of the three musketeers
The group with the swords not the ones with the funny ears

Reminds me of a...

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I tell you I like, that Wayland a bunch
He'd be the guy, to be there in a crunch
Not afraid of humor, he paves the way
With...

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Looking down my tree lined street

the setting sun casts her glow

upon the Chestnuts, Maples, and Oaks

dressed in worn out yellow ribbons 

telling the story of...

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My appreciation Francis Crasto for allowing me to collaborate with you as your 'psychiatrist' on ‘A MAN UNDER STRESS’- A great sequel to your recent...

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Benedict was tired, he’d been driving all day.  
This was his last delivery, 2 tonnes of eggs delivered to Safeway.  
The kid came...

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YES DEAR!

I have here an old solution
For conflict resolution
Not to mention domestic pollution 
I say 'Yes Dear!'

When the situation is tense
With a subject like pounds...

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A man with a quiet demeanor
was cursed with a miniscule wiener.
He tried lotions and pills
But not one cured his ills.
Now he's a silent nail hole...

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You Americans really can’t spell,
There, I’ve said it out loud - what the hell!
Though we all recognise,
And, yes, humour your tries,
Well, the fact is, you’ve...

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There was a lumberjack from Borehamwood 
A chainsaw mishap took off his manhood
His Love life now a mess 
And it caused him great stress
So he...

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"Tease for Two"



“Ein bisschen Zucker 
mit Ihrer Sahne, Sir?“

German accent 
smoky toned 
she purred

Periwinkles suavely winked, 
then played with his -

cufflinks

“Not now Schvee Tart” 
he...

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I can't recall exactly when
Life swung and hit me on my chin
I"m ashamed to say, it knocked me cold
When I came to, I woke up...

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You’re all in charge of authoring a story
Of love and humor, suspense and glory
You’re writing starts with your very first thought
And doesn’t end til your...

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