Best Humor Poems

I stand about five feet eight
I'll admit, I'm a tad overweight
Drive an old pick up truck
Not one to pass the buck
At the moment have a dog for a mate

Dropped out of school at eighteen
Got married in a pair of old jeans
A father of four
When I...

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t         e         t        e   
               ...

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"Rhyming poems have nothing of substance to say
They're childish! Ridiculous! Silly! Passe!

What's that - 'The Raven,' fine prose, you assure?
Pshaw, a talking bird is not Literature!
'The Road Not Taken' - how indecisively trite
'Shall I Compare Thee to a Summer's Day' ~ why, out of spite?

'How...

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She had so many chances
     Yet she kept muffin it up
Butter intentions were good
     Just not much coffee in her cup

Couldn’t make a good decision
     Too much waffling back and forth
Always peppered with...

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In the town of Milton Creek the sun was starting to rise
And Jenna was planning for Ranger David a lovely surprise
Unbeknown to him preparations were now well underway
To hold a party in his honour on this Saint Patrick's day.

She, Anaya, Deb, Tania and Lin had...

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Trees wear a gown of bright emerald green
Where birds are nesting in branches up high
Parents shield fledglings so they can’t be seen
Until they can spread their new wings and fly

Daffodils dance in the warm zephyr breeze
Bees buzz seeking out these pretty flowers
Yellow pollen doesn't make...

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YES DEAR!

I have here an old solution
For conflict resolution
Not to mention domestic pollution 
I say 'Yes Dear!'

When the situation is tense
With a subject like pounds and pence
To avoid sitting on the fence
I say 'Yes Dear!'

Though I sometimes feel sure I'm right
And would argue my point...

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To all the pens I’ve lost before
That rolled off my desk and, on the floor
I’m glad they came along
I dedicate this song
To all the pens I’ve lost before

To all the pens I’ve once caressed
And may I say, I’ve held the best
For helping me to grow,...

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With the morning crisp and frosty
    and the Earth yearning for autumn's heat.
Darkness gave way to a fractured dawn
    as the Sun rose in the East.
The forest became warm and fervent
    while dappled grass lay beneath...

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My dear brother Butch,

Hair are the highlights of my week:
I got a job at the Hairway to Heaven salon!
Our motto: "We color your hair or dye trying"
When the interviewer said "I mustache you a question..."
I answered, "May I mullet over?"
Seriously, working there is a shear...

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Twenty first of October in two thousand and eighteen
Was the worst disaster poetry soup had seen
Poems wiped off the website as all the poets slept
When the disaster unfolded many poets wept.

Some had spent hours composing their verses
But no backup made, the air soon filled with...

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It was now growing dark as the sun was going down
When a stranger rode into Soup Creek, a frontier town
No one could see his face, he was all dressed in black
An old boy was heard to say "I think he's come back".

He took his horse...

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The sun was rising over Milton Creek, heralding the start of a new day
Two new residents were due in town, on the noon train from Santa Fe
William (Bill) and Sara Baker, both renowned as skilled bakers by trade
There was talk that their breads and cakes...

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He stood on the street corner
Having a much needed smoke
Somehow we got chatting
And he told me a joke 
And i started laughing
The way that you do
He looked at me smiling
And started laughing too
And his dog laughed too.

It became a habit
Ever after that
Every morning I’d stop
For...

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     When it's soup season on Poetry Soup
     Ingredients are in large selection
     Creamy chicken soup is yummy
     for both body and soul
     it is...

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