Best Goat Poems | Poetry
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The Best Goat Poems
When fields gleam aureate and song birds sing
and transient stars in clusters scintillate,
when sweet perennials are coaxed by spring
to blossom forth, he comes with sprightly gait.
He wends his way along the mountain trails
past opalescent rush of streams and rills,
goat-footed, on the paths that ribbon dales
and wind around and up and down small hills.
Then nymphs appear as, through the woods, he trips
to flower-smitten meadows. Fancy-free,
he leads them with his reed held to his lips,
till blithely they embrace his rhapsody.
So hear the music; watch the wood nymphs spin. . .
Then captured by sheer merriment, join in!
For Nathan A.'s ANY POEM GOES Poetry Contest
Copyright © Andrea Dietrich | Year Posted 2010
Her lips caress another cigarette
A fading belle looking for love
The smoke veils a creature of habit
Chasing a young girls dream
But this Genie found the palace doors locked
Her youth distilled into a bottle of gin
Diluted by these streets of sin
Now her makeup hides the bottles content
Silk fingernails deluding the smokers hand
Her wig of blonde hiding the soul beneath
The ladder in her stockings,
Torn like her Hollywood dreams
Her perfume sickly sweet,
Masking the odor from yesterday’s gin
The ashtray is full,
Cheap lipstick covers the tab ends
Her vigil to find happiness
But he never comes.
Only a stream of chancer’s
Wanting to spin lady luck one more time
Fuelled by the promise of paradise
A vacation from life
And a brag for Jack Daniels
Under neon lights
A Beautiful girl content in her gin bottle
Her saviour from this cruel world
An inner voice plays in her mind
“I could have been a movie star”
A role she can play all too well
But morning light never lies
Her beauty, has fled, left on the pillow
Like some Monet’s impression.
Regret lays sprawled out
Like yesterday’s salad,
Thrown out with the rubbish
For the slugs of corruption to eat
Her aging face revealing every rejection
Every turned down script, every broken dream
A lifetime of heart break.
But she still plays her part well
Play it again Sam
And another cigarette,
The same mistake, the same men,
From all the gin bars in the world
She had to choose this one
Another lottery ticket to litter her despair.
No winning numbers here
Her silent acceptance speech,
Laid bare in her blood shot eyes of regret
A mouthwash of gin
And the genie of love returns to her bottle
Her legs bruised and varicose,
Testament to waitress by day and genie by night.
He closes the door
His only thought to get away, not his finest hour
Jack Daniels his moral escape goat
Nosey neighbour’s his jury
They bare witness to his walk of shame
She opens the curtains,
And sees him fade into the faceless crowd
Alone again, a full ashtray and an empty gin bottle
Symbols of last night’s play
The mirror torments her image,
As she drinks coffee through smoke stained teeth
A wave of her head, a smile
And a daydream
Tonight, her prince will save her
This is her delusion, her reason to live
But time is running out
For she is part of life’s crap game.
The dice rolls once more
Will it be happiness? or loneliness?
But in the end, deep down she knows
The house always wins in tinsel town.
Copyright © steven cooke | Year Posted 2011
In Search of 50 Names(couplets alphabetized for ease of footnoting the names)
A) A tom cat sits in heather nearby a willow tree.
Rose and jasmine fill the air. A billy goat I see.
B) 50 words that sound like names I seek. A pail I carry.
I wade across a nearby stream just now to pick a berry.
C) Already I have found ten names! What a fun quest I am on
A fanny pack and comfy shoes and jeans I had to don.
D) Three more I found! Did you know? I now go through a glen.
Upon a colt I bob along as I go up a ben.
E) The cliff is steep. I must go down. A hunter I now spy.
To a blue jay he gives chase. One and twenty names have I!
F) There comes a gale, but I am wily, and I find a lee
dug by someone in the earth. Into it I flee.
G) Twenty-five names I have found; twenty-five I lack.
I leave my shelter, rob a van, but now I need a jack.
H) Are you aware of three more names I've added on my way?
I fix the van and now in earnest, I cannot delay.
I) I go for miles. Have you kept track? Thirty names I’m at.
I see a gym and go inside. They have a welcome mat.
J) With thirty-two fine names, I’m feeling good and so I pat
myself upon the back and tarry at the gym because I’m fat.
K) I nick myself while lifting weights and go into the john.
If you can notice, it’s now thirty-six names that I’m on.
L) A guy is in the ladies room. I’ll be frank. He’s a dick.
I’m curt with him and let him know that he makes me sick.
M) It’s forty names that I have found; I only need ten more.
I spot a karaoke bar and open up its door.
N) By the way, I’m looking for a man that I may marry.
I will find him in this place but he better not be hairy.
O) Those last two lines had four names in them, did you know?
Two of them were also modals going with my flow.
P) There’s another! Five remain to which I must be led.
Also, I have found my mark, the man I want to wed.
Q) He’s singing at the mike. Both cute and rich he seems.
And I’m feeling randy; he’s the vision in my dreams.
R) I vie for his attention. Fifty names and he are mine!*
*I took off the first line of the last couplet when I realized I had gone over the 35 line max!
The names I found per couplet are these:
A) Tom, Heather, Willow, Rose, Jasmine, Billy
B) Carrie, Wade, Barry
C) Fanny, Jean(s), Don
D) Glen, Colt, Bob, Ben
E) Cliff, Hunter, Jay, Chase
F) Gail, Wiley, Lee, Doug
G) Rob, Van, Jack
I) Miles, Jim, Matt
J) Pat, Terry
K) Nick, John
L) Guy, Frank, Dick, Curt
M) Spot (but only if you are counting dog names. LOL)
N) May or Mae, Mary, Will, Harry
Q) Mike, Rich, Randy
R) Vie or Vi
Written Nov. 25, 2016
For Viv Wrigley's What's in a name
Copyright © Andrea Dietrich | Year Posted 2016
Do you find yourself analytical
When it comes to things political
Corpulent men in suits and ties
Cheat with promises and lies
With true intent we go to vote
To make choice of *** or goat
Labor, Nationals, Libs and Greens
Strut their stuff like Kings and Queens
Have you met an honest Pollie?
Show me one - I'll shout: By Gollie!
With their hands deep in our pockets
They send taxes up like rockets
The grass withers and crops die
For feed and water creatures cry
While there's water up on Mars
And in ‘swamp’s’ well plenished bars!
Trump - outsider - stands his ground
Trait in Pollies seldom found
He treats leaders, lords and Kings
Marionettes dangling on strings.
Never TelePrompt refined
Opens up and speaks his mind
Straight from heart and off the cuff
Uncut diamond in the rough
Mock his lack of history pure
Never going to be demure
He hits back at thrown insults
I care more for his results
So let’s give an admonition
To bog dwelling politicians
‘Had enough to fill your cup
Drink it down! Your time is up!’
Copyright © Geoffrey Brewer | Year Posted 2018
A a big A little a
What words start with the letter A
Alligator, Airplane, Apple
The alligator sneaked into the airplane to eat an apple. Aa Aa Aa
B b big B little b
What words start with the letter B
Butterfly, Boy, Banana
A beautiful butterfly landed on the boy ’s nose while he ate a banana. Bb Bb Bb
C c big C little c
What words start with the letter C
Caterpillar, Candy, Car
I ate my sour caterpillar candy in the car. Cc Cc Cc
D d big D little d
What words start with the letter D
Dog, Doll, Donkey
The dog took off with my doll with the donkey chasing him. Dd Dd Dd
E e big E little e
What words start with the letter E
Elephant, Ear, Eye
The elephant touched his ear and eye with his trunk. Ee Ee Ee
F f big F little f
What words start with the letter F
Fish, Flower, Frog
The frog sat on the lily flower while the fish swam around the pond. Ff Ff Ff
G g big G little g
What words start with the letter G
Goat, Giraffe, Grasshopper
Billy goat runs and jumps on the giraffe’s back to chase the grasshopper. Gg Gg Gg
H h big H little h
What words start with the letter H
Hippopotamus, Heart, Hat
Harry the hippopotamus who has a big heart, wears his favorite hat. Hh Hh Hh
I i big I little i
What words start with the letter I
Inchworm, Iron, Ice cream
The inchworm stayed away because the iron was hot and the ice cream was cold. Ii Ii Ii
J j big J little j
What words start with the letter J
Jacket, Jeep, Jelly
I left my jacket in the jeep while I ate my jelly sandwich. Jj Jj Jj
K k big K little k
What words start with the letter K
Kangaroo, Key, Kitten
Lulu the kangaroo wore a key on a chain around her neck while she carried the kitten in her pouch. Kk Kk Kk
L i big L little l
What words start with the letter L
Lizard, Ladybug, Lego
Charlie the lizard stops to see the ladybug climb up the Lego. Ll Ll Ll
M m big M little m
What words start with the letter M
Monkey, Mouse, Moon
The monkey and mouse sitting on a tree limb together looking at the man on the moon. Mm Mm Mm
N n big N little n
What words start with the letter N
Nose, Nest, Nut
Nancy the squirrel put her nose near the nest to smell the nut at the bottom. Nn Nn Nn
O o big O little o
What words start with the letter O
Ostrich, Orange, Owl
The ostrich saw the orange and ran over and swallow it so he didn’t have to share with the owl. Oo Oo Oo
P p big P little p
What words start with the letter P
Pig, Pillow, Pumpkin
Piggy the pig lies on the pillow while he throws the pumpkin up in the air. Pp Pp Pp
Q q big Q little q
What words start with the letter Q
Queen, Quarter, Quail
The Queen of hearts threw a quarter in the air and a quail flew by and caught it. Qq Qq Qq
R r big R little r
What words start with the letter R
Rabbit, Roster, Rocket
The rabbit and the rooster took a rocket ride to visit the moon. Rr Rr Rr
S s big S little s
What words start with the letter S
Sun, Shovel, Snowman
The children played out in the sun using a shovel to make a snowman. Ss Ss Ss
T t big T little t
What words start with the letter T
Ticket, Table, Train
I left the ticket on the table for the train ride. Tt Tt Tt
U u big U little u
What words start with the letter U
Unicorn, Umbrella, Unicycle
The unicorn held an umbrella over his head so he wouldn’t get wet in the rain while riding his unicycle. Uu Uu Uu
V big V little v
What words start with the letter V
Violin, Vegetables, Vase
The musician played his violin as he watched the vegetables grow in the vase. Vv Vv
W w big W little w
What words start with the letter W
Watch, Watermelon, Wagon,
Watson looked at his watch to see if it was lunch time so he could eat his watermelon on the wagon. Ww Ww Ww
X x big X little x
What words start with the letter X
Xebec, Xylophone, X-ray,
The sailors on the xebec played the ping, ping, ping music on the xylophone while on their way to deliver an x-ray to Xavier. Xx Xx Xx
Y y big Y little y
What words start with the letter Y
Yarn, Yo-Yo, Yogurt
The yarn broke loose on the yo-yo when Billy was doing a trick and it flew into the yogurt. Yy Yy Yy
Z z big Z little z
What words start with the letter Z
Zebra, Zipper, Zoo
The zebra zipped up the zipper on his jacket when it got cold at the zoo. Zz Zz Zz
By: Eve Roper 8/19/2015
Copyright © Eve Roper | Year Posted 2015
Something evil this way comes
Sure as the rising of the Son
A single heart left to bleed
A lost soul with a dying need
When love proves it doesn’t care
In creeps darkness and despair
Angry voices from deep with-in
Scream I’m a fool once again
I now make my soul like a cave
It’s the darkness that I now crave
Around my heart I shall build a moat
With blood sacrifices unto the goat
Deep in darkness as a soul can be
Father of darkness come feed on me
She destroyed the love in my soul
I do pray that hate fills up the hole
Troubled souls with hallow voices
In this life we all make choices
My choices have left me degraded
I now hate the person I created
Into darkness away from the Son
Something evil this way comes
Yea, I posted this for Deborah's contest.
Believe it or not this is who i used to
be. Poetry is a truly amazing tool when
it comes to change, it transformed this
into the man I am. All I can say about
that, "Praise be the Power of God".
Copyright © Michael Jordan | Year Posted 2009
Remember the story
of Billy Goats Gruff?
The troll under the bridge,
and all of that stuff?
If you liked that old story
it's all good and well,
but it isn't at all
the troll tale I will tell.
Now, Trolius Troll
was a timorous soul;
A more timid troll
you never shall see.
He lived in a hole
in the base of the bole,
(that is, the trunk)
of a turpentine tree.
Young Trolius Troll,
I ask you to note,
is a strict vegetarian;
he does not eat goat.
You might not believe me,
but, begging your pardon,
he eats only produce
from his vegetable garden.
One day, after harvesting
some of his crop,
with a basket of turnips,
with some carrots on top,
he strode up the path,
just as proud as could be,
toward his home in the trunk
of the turpentine tree.
Then, outside the door
of his pine tree abode,
was a sight that made
Trolius Troll drop his load.
There, with a chainsaw
and a double-bit ax,
stood a brawny, black bearded,
blue eyed lumberjack.
With his feet wide apart
on the green, grassy ground,
the lumberjack looked
the troll's tree up and down--
Then, laying the ax
on a moist, mossy bank,
he gave the saw's start rope
a sudden, sharp yank.
With a white puff of smoke
and an ear splitting sound,
the saw shattered the silence
for acres around.
The lumberjack stepped
to the tree's sturdy base
with a smile of delight
on his black-bearded face.
Then, the usually timorous
troll gave a shout,
and, pounding his chest,
he went leaping about.
With a wild snarl of rage
and a blood chilling wail,
the once timid Trolius
charged up the trail.
The brave lumberjack
was stricken with awe.
He turned from the tree,
and dropped the chain saw.
Through the ferns and the bushes
the tree feller ran.
and he never returned
to the forest again.
And so ends a story,
that some might find droll,
of a timid and timorous
tree dwelling troll.
But its message is clear,
it’s as clear as can be:
You may monkey about with Trolius, friend,
but you’d better not mess with his tree.
Copyright © William Robinson | Year Posted 2005
Billy don’t lose my number
No ones knows the darkness
Other than one who knows... the darkness
There is no snow
There is no white
Wings are clipped
There is no flight
Answers fly away in the air
Leaving the human heart in despair
Whiskey tumbles down the throat
No more am I the ambitious goat
Broken glass and twisted rope
Dusk invites my... my final cry
Love gave me peace for a while
Then love became ill as death hovered
Over caskets and flowers soon to be
Dancing with my dead thoughts in the open air
How do I say, I really do not care?
Seeking death and pain, a solace I wear
Angels greet those other than me
I, deserving of the dirt, you shall never see
The labyrinth of pain upon the graveyard paths
Many shall walk, yet not a one will be
Any angel that could take me to the sea
Drowning in pain, the knife sets me free
Copyright © arthur vaso | Year Posted 2017
Hello my friend, good day to you; I see you got my note
It's time we had a face to face about that crazy goat!
He made a mess, broke in my barn; ate up my buds and cans
And when I tried to chase him out, he kicked my bloomin' fan
Now see here Mr. Farmin' Man, I know you from way back
But if you don't restrain that goat - I'll stretch his scrawny neck!
Me and that goat been fightin' long; he thinks he won this time
So I'll show him today for sure that I'm still in my prime
That goat won't get the better of me; I'll trap him with some hay
I'll lay a path straight to the barn and lead him in that way
Oh darn! He's smarter than I thought, he ate up to the door
He stopped and turned then shook his tail like he don't want no more
Aww shucks - there's got to be a way to trap that crazy goat
He's found new ways into my barn - I'll send another note
This time though Mr. Farmin' Man, I will not shout and wail
I'm goin to git the Sheriff now and throw that goat in jail!
Copyright © Neva Romaine | Year Posted 2015
Whatever turns your crank
Whatever tickles your pickle
Whatever dunks your donut
Whatever waxes your dolphin
Whatever buffs your Buddha
Whatever pops your cork
Whatever pets your monkey
Whatever frosts your cookies
Whatever spills your pills
Whatever trips your trigger
Whatever humps your camel
Whatever melts your chocolate
Whatever peels your onion
Whatever chafes your carrot
Whatever flops your mop
Whatever rocks your socks
Whatever teeters your totter
Whatever milks your goat
Whatever pings your pong
Whatever peels your banana
Whatever blows your nozzle
Whatever tips your canoe
Whatever flicks your switch
Whatever zips your zipper
Whatever blows your stack
Whatever... whatever... whatever!
© Jack Ellison 2014
Copyright © Jack Ellison | Year Posted 2014
Now Y'all have had embarrassing moments that happen to you.
Well, I had some myself that I thought I'd share that are true.
Ahh, the humorous side to my country life for me.
From one day to the next I never know where it will take me.
Once I was out doing my yard work content and happy you see.
When all at once the farmers pony was running after me.
From time to time his peacocks and turkeys head over my way.
And a stubborn old goat will definitely ruin ones day.
I've even had to deal with a bee flying up my shorts as I ran around.
Because my lawn mower ran over his hive in the ground.
Once a mouse climbed inside my nightie while watching t.v.
And a farm rat on steroids hid in the bathroom looking up at me.
But I think the funniest thing to happen to me I'd say....
Is when I backed my butt into the electric fence one day!
I let out a holler and laughed then and now.
My what a relief no one saw but the big old brown cow...lol
** Hope y'all can see it's not always a peaceful day in the country for me!...:)
Copyright © Mary Hoose | Year Posted 2017
Alligators, Aardvarks; Arctic fox and hare. Also Armadillos and Asses will be there!
Bobcats, Beavers, Boars; One Blue whale will do! Bovines and a Booby (maybe 2)!
Caribou & Camels; *Cavies & a *Coot; Cottontails, Chipmunks, Chinchillas looking cute.
Dingoes, Deer & *Dik-diks; Dolphins doing tricks!
Elephants, an *Emu; Egrets and a Ewe.
Flying squirrels & Frogs you will find; Ferrets & Flamingos, Felines, every kind.
Goats & Gophers, swift Gazelles & Gnus; Grizzlies & Gorillas; Gibbons to amuse.
Humpbacks;Hyenas,also Harbor seals; Hummingbirds need little; Hippos need huge meals!
*Ibex & an Ibis, and there’s some Iguanas
Jaguars & Jackals & wading birds, Jacanas.
Killer whale; a Kangaroo; Kingbirds and the Koala too.
Ligers, Lynxes, Leopards, Langers; Llamas, Lemmings, Loons & Lemurs.
Manatees & Manxes & some Muskrats; Mustangs, Moose, Macaws ; Mountain cats.
Nightingales & Newts; and a big Naked mole rat!
Otters & Opossums; the Ozark Big-eared bat; Ocelots and Orca too. imagine that!
Pumas, Panthers, Penguins, Polar Bears & *Pipits; Puffins, Peacocks, Pelicans & *Peewits.
*Qhetzals, such bright birds to see; also a Queen snake, Queen rat & Queen bee.
Rhinos, Rams & Reindeer need a look! Racoons too, & have you seen the Rook?
Sable, Sloth & Skunks & Snowy owl, Snipes & Swifts & *Squabs are other fowl.
Tigers, Toucans, *Tapirs; and just now born. . .
Utah prairie dogs, Uganda Kob and the only one around, the Unicorn!
Vultures, Vipers, Vixens, and more than that; a Vole & Vervet & the Vampire bat!
Walruses, a Weasel, & the silly *Wallaroo; Woodchucks, Wolverines, Warthog too.
*Xenopus & *Xerus; *Xenarthra & *Xantus.
*Yaffles & a Yellow belly lizard; a Yeti (found naked in a blizzard).
*Zanzibar and Zebra & the *Zebu; Finally a *Zigzag and a *Zoo-zoo!
Definitions of the uncommon animal names in this poem:
Cavies - Hoofed animals Coots -diving birds Dik-diks - type of Antelopes
Emu - like Ostrich Ibex - wild goat Langurs -Long tailed Monkeys
Pipits - small songbirds Peewits -shore birds Qhetzals -jungle bird
Squabs -Birds Tapirs -S. American Swine Wallaroo -large Water buffalo
Xenopus -Frog Xerus - Ground squirrel Xenarthra -Anteaters
Xantus - Bird Yaffles - Green woodpeckers Zanzibar -Gecko
Zebu - Ox Zigzag - Salamander Zoo-zoo -Wood pigeon
Copyright © Andrea Dietrich | Year Posted 2010
I read Darryl Ashton’s poem Called Pinocchio Rex and this brought back
memories of a childhood incident
When I grew up we had a smallholding – the house was called ‘Longacre’ as we
had over an acre of land. Over the years we had chickens, pigs named Pinky
and Porky and a goat called Susie… she had kids called Billy and Nanny – guess
I was no good at names back then… but I digress
Attached to the house was a small village shop but my parents also made a
small income from selling fresh eggs and in the summer home grown
strawberries – I would help pick washing baskets of them and bag them up to
Every week a little old man would arrive for his dozen eggs and if the shop was
shut he would ring the doorbell. He wore a pointed felt hat, had steely blue
eyes and the most enormous nose you have ever seen. Unbeknownst to him
my parents nicknamed him 'Pinocchio'.
When I was aged about 7 years old the doorbell rang – mum was busy baking
in the kitchen so I answered it. There in front of me stood this old man wanting
his eggs. Mum shouted from the kitchen
‘Who is it Janet?’
I replied ‘Oh its only Pinocchio’
At once mum appeared from the kitchen, her face was the colour of beetroot.
She apologised for the comment from her ‘cheeky daughter’ The man
purchased his eggs and walked away – never to return!
The moral of this true tale is that parents ALWAYS tell the truth and that
children have ears the size of an elephant and a mouth just as big … so if you
don’t want them to repeat something YOU have said keep it zipped!
11th August 2014
Copyright © JAN ALLISON | Year Posted 2014
These two guys were out on a bird hunt
Suddenly they came upon a pit
Looks deep said one; I’ll throw some rocks in
And see how long it takes them to hit
Never heard the rocks hit the bottom
OK, I have an idea, said one
I saw an old transmission back there
We’ll hear it hit; it must weigh a ton
They worked hard dragging that transmission
Then they pushed it down into the pit
They listened intently for a noise
So anxious to finally hear it hit
Suddenly from the brush behind them
A Goat emerged, running to beat sh..
One hundred mile per hour bee-line
Ran right between them into the pit
They looked at each other “dumb founded”
When a farmer drove up in his truck
“Have you guys seen my goat around here?”
One hunter said; “You’ve had some bad luck”
“A goat just ran straight into this pit
He looked like he was on a mission”
“Well, that sure couldn’t have been my goat
My goat was chained to a transmission”
Copyright © Charles Sides | Year Posted 2012
Last night I awoke to the sign of Orion, and the big dipper pouring beauty into her
Though the stars say she is a Capricorn, a meager goat, I see Orion’s majesty every time I
stare into here full lips and wide Sophia Lauren Smile.
Her sleek and slender body bodes of Spartan stubbornness.
A stubbornness that’s had me fuming on the wrong kind of sides, of the wrong kinds of days.
Most days, we spend our lives like firefighters, putting out 101 degree fevers, cars
breaking down, and trying to make ends meet on a student’s stipend,
And as days pass, we see separation as an impossibility for how could we possibly survive
without each other?
But last night, I was freed from the stress of overfilled garbage cans and overdue
To see her high and lifted up in the unconditional light which she shines for so many,
So many children, to whom she’s been a second mother, screaming, “Ms. Lucas!!!, Ms.
Lucas!!!,” as we see them in the mall.
The countless times that she’s saved me form suicide with a hope unfettered and sincere,
You see last night, I got a quick glimpse into my life as heaven sees it, and I saw my
wife for the first time, lifted high into the deep night, shining for the world.
Oh don’t get me wrong, I truly see her everywhere,
Every where there is courage, I see her wringing the neck of the crack head that almost
kidnapped our oldest in Chicago,
Every time I see kindness, I see her soothing voice in my ear saying, “Keep going baby,
you’re almost out of the tunnel.”
Whenever I see pain, I see her face when she looked down at her dead father’s body, stoic
and resolved that his tragedy would not mar her memory of his greatness.
Every time I see strength, I see a woman who buried her brother in the same summer of her
honeymoon and still smiled wide with sincerity.
But last night, God removed the veil, and I saw her through heaven’s eyes,
Glorious and heroic,
And in that moment I realized that nothing can stop me, because I sleep next to Orion.
Machel, the hero of old.
Copyright © Woodrow Lucas | Year Posted 2009
I know of a lass by the name of Kelly McGower
Who would sing like an angel when she took a shower.
But when she finished and came out of the rain,
It seems that her talents would wash down the drain.
And if she attempted to sing one more note,
Her voice would sound like a rude Billy Goat.
Poor Kelly, to her singing was close to pure joy,
But she’d never share it with Shamus McCoy.
Shamus it seems was the man of her dreams,
But to sing for him would be far too extreme.
To invite him to hear her would set off alarms,
And how could she do it without revealing her charms?
So the poor girl wondered what else she could do,
To gain his attention and to be loved by him too?
Next door to Kelly there lived one Shamus McCoy,
Nothing special about him, just an average boy.
He’d stroll through his garden each night at the same hour,
And wait for dear Kelly to start taking her shower.
When her singing would start on the fence post he’d lean,
Until sweet Kelly and his soul were both clean.
For the sound of her voice would make him content,
But for listening to her shower he felt the need to repent.
So he got on the phone to speak with the Vicar,
In hopes that absolution could come that much quicker.
The Vicar grabbed his Bible to help save the boy,
Then he went to visit the home of young Shamus McCoy.
And while Shamus made confession to his lyrical love,
The Vicar heard the sweet sounds from the window above.
So transfixed was he by the sound of her voice,
That he called out to Shamus to be glad and rejoice.
He provoked Shamus into action to ask for her hand,
So young Shamus made a purchase of a perfect gold band.
Now Shamus is granted a concert each night,
And the songs that she sings bring him delight.
His love for his wife has made him complete,
And she now permits him a front row seat.
Still her modesty requires that he turn his face,
Because the shower curtain is made of fine Irish lace.
And there is not enough of it there to obstruct his view,
So to honor her wishes it's the least he can do.
He’ll protect her modesty when he comes to hear her,
By turning from the shower and looking into the mirror.
But the steam from the shower clouded up the glass,
And obscured his view of this beautiful lass.
So Shamus took action there was nothing more to it,
And that’s how Kelly’s solo got changed into a duet.
Let this poem stand as an explanation to the city as to why,
The water bill at the home of the McCoy’s is so high.
Copyright © Tony Lane | Year Posted 2011
and smitten with her moist entwine,
he savoured like the red, red wine,
as passion engulfed the post,
she was the surely most,
till oblivion unwinds....
and he gave up his ghost,
and a sympathetic mine,
no lesbians this time,
but that gets on your Goat,
till next head butting time,
he kissed her subtle throat,
and it began to climb,
no not the Billy goat,
intercourse aint a crime,
chocolate covered cherries are the toast:}
the heat remained sublime,
dem cherries are the most!
Don re Debbie Duncan "chocolate covered cherries"
Copyright © DON JOHNSON | Year Posted 2014
I was a man, a cold blooded drunk, as they come.
I lived my whole life in a little house on my dad’s farm.
A broke hustler with a defunct bank account,
My career's future was always in doubt.
I married late, at the start of my forties.
It was not for love, I just wanted society to notice.
I did it to save myself from the embarrassment,
So she was not exactly for me heaven sent.
If I thought I was unhappy before, I was miserable now.
I my search for stability I had eloped with a cow.
I had to drink more, to feel like a man again.
Had to play deaf and mute, not to go insane.
As the years passed, the cow bore me a calf
By now I was weak and my income had reduced to half
The bottle was killing me, but it was Still my only friend.
To hold my hand and kiss me, everyday till the end.
The bottle was all i had, to wash away my sorrow
I had to have it, whether i should beg, steal or borrow
The meaning of life had now escaped my grasp.
All I did was sit, drink and watch time elapse.
Misery matured to sickness and still the years went by.
I shed no tears but within me there was a silent cry.
That of an old man whose whole life had been a lie
Pleasure is only found in the sweet wine a youngster sips.
For death hangs around the bed, every time an old man sleeps.
No amount of slumber nor sweet dreams can sooth,
When the heavy hand of time strikes away youth.
The dagger of illness and age was soon on my throat
I who called my wife "cow" was almost a slaughtered goat.
The reflection of my old face was unbearable on the mirror.
I looked haggard and horrible, i looked like a killer.
The cow and the calf left me to seek better pasture.
I was now all alone, expect for the bottle and my pastor
He visited often to preach me the holy word.
He warned me of hell, i assured him, that i have already had
He gave up, went his way as death came mine.
No regret, no redemption and no cloud nine
There was no glitter, there was no glory
I was bitter, and that was the end of my story.
Copyright © Jack Nganga | Year Posted 2015
Who will weep for my noble prince? Who will cry
With belly swollen with sorrow, and tears long
As the Black River? Who will hear the clouds sigh
And turn black over red clay, and being strong
Not feel this agony no rain wash away?
Tell me, you angels, before the bamboos die
Before the swallows sing no more in the sky
Did you comfort him before he passed away?
Did you assure him the people shall remain
The sovereign of his God's vast and frugal domain?
O my little prince, my loyal, handsome prince
My native flesh and blood! Tell the Maroons come
Down the mountain drumming death now, let them rinse
Our agony with their songs, let fingers long dumb
Speak again on the skin of the goat. Call them
Like birds to flock against the gray evening mist
And tell his deeds writing days on love's long list:
He was their voice, their concrete Jerusalem
And O how he loved them, and O how he cared
And for nothing gave all, so no one despaired.
This is the man I weep, this is the friend I lost
This is the soul of pure compassion so still
Amidst the tributes and tears. Pain is love's cost
When the barren room no other soul shall fill
O that you knew this man, that you talked with him
Under tree or in the broiling sun, did he
Not touch you as one destined for a jubilee
Lifted on the people's love? Let stars be dim
Till I have no more tears to shed, he is dead
Donald B. Buchanan is dead! Day has fled!
Why death must you such a tyrant be? What plans
Have you not overthrown, mark the limit set
By you, pouring our life like the hour glass sands
Giving us for our flightless dreams dire regret.
How blindly you rail against the cross and Christ
And sow this kingdom with rot, and make us vain
Shall you be still proud when He comes again
Shall Danny and I not rise by His sacrifice
To drive again the long road and hear the sea
Roaring in our dreams, and know the mass is free?
Then shall the bamboos like God's orchestra sing
And the Santa Cruz Mountains burst in bright light
Where we shall play eternal children, and bring
Tributes of praise to the eternal king. Night
Has no beauty that shall outshine our glad days
Nor love no promise excellent as our joy
When these valleys rise and nothing can destroy
My faith made real, and friendship near forever stays
For death is done. Until then I miss you still
Bulwark and bastion of the people's will
Copyright © David Smalling | Year Posted 2011
I was brought up on a smallholding when I was a lass
We needed something to help us cut the vast expanse of grass
I wanted a goat and my parents they agreed
We saw one advertised and rushed there at great speed
Poor ‘Susie’ lived in a paved back yard
Finding her food to eat must have been hard
We paid them some money and then the fun began
Travelling home in dads Volkswagen van*
I sat on the back seat with ‘Susie’ next to me
It looked pretty silly – I’m sure you will agree
Back home she bounded out of the car
She trimmed the nearest rose bush – she really was a star
She headed for the washing line and tried to eat dad’s pants
It was pretty hilarious – I can still hear poor dad’s rants
She was ‘with kid’ and got settled in her comfy shed
Her favourite food was bananas she’d eat them all when fed
Finally the great day of the kid’s birth did arrive
I called them ‘Billy and Nanny’ I was filled with great pride
The kids were so cute and we would take them out for walks
If people saw us out in the street their eyes would be on stalks
The kids they grew so quickly and nanny she got sold
Billy stayed a few more weeks but he was never to get old
Billy became a problem and was sold off in a hurry
I was devastated to find poor Billy was made into curry
This really did happen as written - I had Susie for my 13th birthday present
The ONLY amendment is it was a VW Beetle not a van *
10th April 2014
Copyright © JAN ALLISON | Year Posted 2014
The purple on his chin was tellin'
there was just no use to lie.
That pesky, good for nothin' goat
had eaten Mother's pie.
She had set it on the porch
jist to cool it down a bit,
and don't you know that goat had come
and calmly eaten it.
My little brother looked as if
he was inclined to cry.
They'd warned him things
would have to change
or Billy Goat would die.
I got a rag to help him scrub
that bright dye off his whisker.
He could appeal to Mom's good side,
but didn't want to risk her.
That goat had climbed on everythin'
from our new car to house.
He'd eaten nightshirts off the line.
No wonder Mom would grouse.
I'll kill that goat", our mother said
a dozen time or so.
Of course she didn't mean it but
our brother didn't know.
Now little brother'd come along
when most of us were growed.
He never seem to learn the ways
the rest of us all knowed.
He didn't learn to work around
our mama's laws and such.
He had no wiles to pertect him.
His goat was sure in dutch.
Bein' so much younger must be tough
and not too easy sailin'.
His best friend was this pesky goat
and that was fast a failin'.
He guessed the only way to go
was take his goat and run.
He didn't think to take a coat
and weinies and a bun.
The rest of us when we run off,
we knowed enough to take
some warm clothes and some
sandwitches 'n even choclit cake.
We were all scared when brother
didn't turn up for a meal
and we could see the worry our
mama began to feel.
So Daddy got his good horse Dan
and took the dogs along,
and said he'd just go scout him out;
be sure nothin' was wrong.
It seemed a good long time before
we saw Dad ridin' back
with somethin' on his saddle.
It looked much like a sack.
But it was our little brother
and he was sound asleep.
Dad found him in the orchard
with apples in a heap.
His cunnin' goat had climbed up
in the ole apple tree
and flung down the ripe apples,
as nimble as can be.
So brother wasn' hungry
but he was mighty weary.
Our mother grabbed him in her arms
and all of us were teary.
That wily goat was smart enough
to prove himself a winner.
He'd saved our brother and himself
from becoming our goat dinner.
By: Joyce Johnson
Copyright © Joyce Johnson | Year Posted 2009
The aardvark who was ashamed looked at the floor
The ant that was angry banged on the door
The bee who was bold ventured on a quest
The bear who was bored drew upon his vest
The cat that was calm never entered rage
The cockatiel who was content sung in his cage
The crocodile that was cheerful looked very pleased
The deer who was disgusted brushed against the trees
The dog who was delighted wagged his tail high
The eagle that was envious soared across the sky
The goat that was grateful helped a near farmer
The gorilla that was glad ate his banana
The giraffe who was grumpy didn’t like the day
The horse who was happy galloped all the way
The jaguar that was jealous ran away far
The monkey who was mad jumped upon a car
The parrot that was proud brought aloud his voice
The snake that was sad made a poor choice
The seahorse that was silly caused a lot of strife
The tiger that was thankful loved to enjoy life
Written by Geraldine Taylor ©
Copyright © Geraldine Taylor | Year Posted 2017
Death’s reign is but a world of carnal minded concepts,
Within which illusions of it own harlot are kept,
As minds counterfeit the Sacred Hearts of the precept,
In containments of worldly forms of the mind’s inept!
My precept withstood this selfish whore’s galore… to the face,
As she sought to hid herself in complexity’s mace,
I gained a new precept face, standing against concept’s disgrace,
As economic whore sought to remove truth by it's fast pace!
Death concepts thereof are conveniences of the mind’s absolve,
As compassions of grace, of brotherly face, are not involved,
Truth is seldom heard in this world of which it’s scribes resolve,
Bribes of scribes, politicians have lied, around this they revolve!
The carnal of mind knows not what they do as death pursues,
The goat will gloat, sheep the mind will not promote...bid adieu,
I’ve stood in the gap of mind’s mishap, the gap(!), I construe!
I’ve stood the test, I've earned Father’s rest, I receive my due!
I bid adieu to the death of the stubborn minds astute,
In heaven’s choir, they will never give Gabriel’s flute.. a toot,
The carnal mind just doesn’t compute...the precept acute,
For higher cosmic affair...holds no flair...for brute's pollute!
Copyright © john freeman | Year Posted 2010
On one bright and sunny morning, verses a dark and stormy night, of course!
Dragon stood at ‘The Dragon and Sheriff Statue’, in the Mayhem Falls Park.
Dragon pondered, should he put a mustache on the Sheriff of Crazyland’s part?
Would he get caught as he usually did? Should he try to do it any way?
Temptations! Temptations! Life can be hard, where temptations abound!
At just that moment, one of the three Billy Goats Gruff came out of Hiding.
He put his head down, aimed, and charged at this beautiful ladies derriere!
What? Honestly…You know I can’t say butt… So let’s just leave it at that.
Dragon was immediately in hero mode, running to save said Damsel in distress.
Except that she didn’t need saving. I can honestly say! Thank you very much!
The lady threw Ol’ Billy over her head, then laid him gently upon the ground.
Then thinking Dragon his accomplice… She also took our poor Dragon down.
Now, it’s hard to be a hero, as someone sits upon you, with you upon the ground.
The Sheriff of Crazyland had seen it all from afar, as he sauntered onto the scene.
Oh My! Oh My! You might say, she was the prettiest gal… He had ever seen!
It was up to the sheriff to save Dragon. Who was embarrassingly letting off steam!
Our Sheriff was so beguiled by her beauty; he leaned on Dragon, his heart agleam.
It was now the Sheriff’s turn for temptations as he put a mustache on our little guy.
Ol’ Billy slipped from her hands and began to go-at away, Baa-ing. What can I say?
The sassy lady introduced herself as Wonder Woman, as she lassoed that Ol’ Goat.
And MAN! Those legs of hers had the Sheriff seeing stars! Indeed she was a Star!
So he offered her lunch and an ice cream treat, at the ice cream parlor… so sweet.
With Billy the goat in his paddy wagon, Dragon was let loose to go on his way…
But instead, he too, joined them at the Parlor, for an ice cream Sundae supreme.
The Sheriff was far mesmerized by Wonder Woman, she was just, so very Keene.
The three chatted on how to save the day, before Wonder Woman went on her way.
It had been the best day ever, as everyone got pictures of her, naturally, of course.
For you see, the paparazzi, fine consignors of… news… had hovered, so very close.
The Sheriff of Crazyland finally had a Christmas wish to come true… It’s true!
He’d got a date with a dream… and not IN a dream… as she told him that…
She’d be coming back thru town, to share another ice cream…with him… soon.
Dragon…. still so captivated… thought that she meant him, naturally, of course.
And he had forgot that… he was now sporting that drawn on… curly mustache.
Yes, folks… It was The Best-est News Day Ever.
To our Best-est Friend Steve and his McDonalds’ Gang
Copyright © Carol Eastman | Year Posted 2016
Jehovah of Armies
made a count one day
of all His weapons
keeping man at bay
of non leathal weapons
He gave the skunk his stink
and a little less harmless
the octopus' ink
sometimes more is needed
to get a point across
a little pain and fear
to impress a loss
soon there will be no doubt
about how they feel
if just once they touch
the electric eel
always beware of
little thing with wings
some may bite
and some may sting
one final warning
and one final note
a very harsh warning
is a bunt of a goat
but for those who are
and bent on adventure
who challenges the snows
and suns of nature
to those that would climb
Gods invisible wall
shatter Gods ceiling
ignore Gods calls
for those who would face
the ultimate threat
the deadliest creatchers
man has ever met
Gods final judgement
more or less
escape from these creatures
the ultimate conquest
you've made it this far
dont stop now
how much more can you defy
you may escape the tigers claws
be just missed by hungry jaws
quick enough to avoid the cobras strike
smart enough not to challenge
the elephants might
witty enough to escape
the anaconda grip
be very careful not to slip
lucky enough to avoid all fangs
with venomous and vicious names
tempting not the bull
declairing never to stand behind
a mule once more
so far weve made it
still living and breathing
Jehovah of Armies
protecting and scheming
Copyright © john loving iii | Year Posted 2011