Best Clerihew Poems
Vincent van Gogh**
Sliced his left ear off
Only one painting did Van Gogh sell -
maybe he didn’t hear the doorbell!
The only painting Van Gogh sold during his lifetime was Red Vineyard at Arles
**Based on the European pronunciation of the name which is Van Goff!
05~30~15
Entered into Premiere contest #11 sponsored by Skat A
I tell you I like, that Wayland a bunch
He'd be the guy, to be there in a crunch
Not afraid of humor, he paves the way
With clerihew words, he loves to play
Let's talk of Eileen, the Queen of passion
Her verses of pleasure, will not be rationed
She causes men to rise, women to weep
Many a farmer, have stopped counting sheep
Then there is Shadow, who is a bright light
Her name suggests darkness, but that isn't right
With a pen and paper, she loves to play
Out of the Shadow, poems brighten our day
There is the woman Donna, she is filled with charm
For her animals, she'd give her left arm
Still here in the soup, she adds her own spice
She's a little bit hot and a whole lot of nice
When it comes to Eagles Montery's the last word
She's not in a flock she's a solitary bird
With her strong wings creating a breeze
Verses dance on the wind with the greatest of ease
I can't forget about Richard, now there's a man
He teases Eileen, just because he can
Yet within the humor, his clever exists
His poetic talents, impossible to miss.
My friend Vicky T, has brought me to tears
She possesses insight well beyond her years
A voice from the wilderness, please take heed
Wisdom resides in her poems that we read
When it comes to nature, our Nette is the girl
She makes mountains quiver and pretty leaves twirl
To angelic worlds she causes us to travel
Brooks are helpless she makes them all babble
Our Andrea she is well beyond great
Her words are profound they carry such weight
Regardless of form, many contests she wins
She's top of the heap, before she begins
Becca's a doll, with a sensitive pen
She writes of the now and also the then
Her words magical, a muse guides her pen
Capturing my mind again and again
This place amazing, a Mystical Rose
A unique handle my creative friend chose
Perfect for her that woman has style
A perfect seven at the top of the pile
My buddy Drake he has really mad skills
With words like honey the airways he fills
If you are lucky he'll let you co-host
To him I raise a glass to happily toast
Others must wait I'm running out of Rymes
I will write of them some other time
Until then I must wish you all goodbye
Have a sip of my soup, give it a try.
Inspired to try my first Clerihew by
Wayland Bunch. Hopefully I have got it right.
Salvatore Bono
The short and older half of the Sonny & Cher show
hit a tree skiing and then was gone. . .
But like his gravestone says: “the beat goes on.”
Cherilyn Sarkisian, AKA Cher,
known for her low singing voice and long black hair,
poked fun at her hubby on TV in ‘71.
Her daughter, now named Chaz, has turned into her son!
*Sonny and Cher were a very famous wife/husband duo
of the 60's and early 70's. Cher continued singing even
till today. When they broke up, Sonny became a politician
and served in the House of Representatives. His skiing
accident was a great tragedy!
battle of the sexes
~~MONA LISA SMILE
Picture Oil painting worthwhile
Leonardo DA Vinci, look out!
What is she really smiling about?
(((The popularity of the Mona Lisa increased in the mid 19th century
because of the Symbolist movement. The painting was thought to
encompass a sort of feminine mystique.)))
~~JAMES EARL JONES
His award winning voice, rough like stones
Darth Vader, Mufasa, stuttering jubilee
When I die can he be the one narrating my eulogy?
(((I love James, I'm a star wars freak... <--- yup that's me)))
~~SADDAM AND BIN LADEN
Were very bad, bad men
Causing chaos throughout America & Afghanistan,
HATERS OF THE USA: they should be called the Arab ku klux klan
(((Occupation: Terrorist~ makes me wonder if they went to the same school.)))
~~ADOLF HITLER
The world worse killer
Commander of the oxymoron Nazi
Losing at his own game of Yahtzee
(((The Most Hated Murderer of all time)))
~~YOUNG ANNE FRANK
Her diary worth more than any bank
Famous Jewish victims of the Holocaust
Her legacy teaches that hate is an exhaust
(((Anne Frank's diary remains one of the most moving and widely read
accounts of the Jewish experience during the Holocaust.)))
~~JOAN OF ARC
Angel in an era so dark
an epic hundred year war
her visions is what she payed for.
(((Joan of Arc, also called the Maid of Orleans, a patron saint of France
and a national heroine, led the resistance to the English invasion.)))
~~BB KING
Can really sing
Stand by me...
But, can he sting like a bee
(((BB KING~ could not help but wonder if he was a lover and a fighter.)))
~~LADY GAGA
Is no piano sonata,
Madonna wannabe, is she.
Watching her videos make me laugh till I pee.
(((Lady Gaga is Unique as can be!)))
by;p.d.
for battle of the clerihew
President Barack Obama
Credited for getting Osama
Now along comes Isis
"Lord help me, another crisis!"
path - 12/1
Kevin the kid, Macaulay Culkin,
Alone at home he was left sulkin’
Challenged the robbers on the block
On Christmas day gave them a shock.
---------------------------------------------
Contest: A Christmas Character Clerihew
Sponsor: Andrea Dietrich
Placing: 4th
Galileo Galilei
Often went out of his way
To explain helio-philosophy
In return he was accused of heresy.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
*The rhymes of a Clerihew are often forced.
Contest: Clerihew Poetry
Sponsor: Regina McIntosh
Posted 26th December 2020
THE LATE HUMOROUS MANDELA
The late former President Nelson Mandela,
Was known as an extremely humorous fella,
A respected freedom fighter and leader,
Referred to her Majesty as Elizabeth, amusing many a reader.
ENTERED FOR EDUCATE ME WITH HUMOR – LEADER CLERIHEW POETRY CONTEST
24/1/2019
Dear fellow soup readers and judges. Having realized that line 4 did not adhere to competition rules I have edited and changed it.
Chancellor Adolf Hitler
Quite dumb with girls when he was littler--
But in Nazi's prime, came sultry Eva
Messed-up like Fuhrer, she became his diva!
Educate Me with Humor--Leader Clerihew
Contest of Andrea Dietrich 1/25/2019
......................
Eva Braun was Hitler's lovely mistress for years.
Though both had eccentric, bizarre characteristics,
Eva's loyalty to Adolf till their last days made him
decide to marry her in a civil wedding.
Mary Godwin -- soon to be Shelley --
Writing with Percy, Byron and Polidori
To create the scariest horror story,
Gave life to a monster of immortal glory.
Brilliance and Madness
Howard Robard Hughes
Famously rich recluse
Dreams led him to the lap of luxury
Followed by nightmarish mysophobic OCD
Rich playboy aviator Howard Hughes
With movie starlets kept himself amused
Dated Katherine Hepburn
Bette Davis took her turn
And still more, which kept the tabloids confused
Born Howard Robard Hughes to a rich family
With English, Welsh and French Huguenot ancestry
Enjoyed a successful multi-faceted business career
But aviation and aerospace were his favorite frontier
Olivia Newton John
A stunning sex bomb
Starred in the film Grease
Talk of ‘ those pants’ never cease!
I wonder how she managed to dance
In skin-tight shiny black satin pants
At the sight of her tush
All the blokes turned to mush
And wanted to begin a romance!
For filming she’s sewn into her clothes
How she went to the toilet who knows!
Her pants sold at an auction in June
I bet the purchaser’s over the moon!
Clerimerick Couplets (Hybrid Form) Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Mark Toney
8/28/19
Lucretia Mott
The meeker sex, she was not!
At the convention in Seneca Falls
Showed men aren't the only ones with balls!
1/26/19
For Educate Me with Humor contest
Sponsor: Andrea Dietrich
The legendary teen idol Elvis Aaron Presley
was criticized for his gyrations, expressly.
And yet, this shooting star went supernova,
morphing into a teenage Casanova.
When this Memphis boy began to croon
he'd wildly grind his hips to the tune;
and flashing his ice-blue eyes,
he'd generate tears and sighs;
while making the young girls scream and swoon.
Born blond, he dyed his hair black
and the King never went back.
He seemed to suffer an itch,
the way he would twist and twitch.
A great genius named Albert Einstein
At the physicist's ball had too much wine
Effecting a photo-electrical stance,
Energetically emcee'd the square dance
May 26,2014
NB: Einstein received the Nobel Prize for
discovering the photoelectric effect. His
Special Theory of Relativity is famous for
the formula E=mc². Puns intended.