Best Mother In Law Poems
I never ever meant to ALIENATE Cruella my mother in law
But her CAPRICIOUS INURBANE manner was really pretty poor
Cruella was PERSPICUOUS in her opinion and she would never listen
I was just her SCAPEGOAT and many times my eyes would glisten
I’d try my best to FLATTER her, I’d comment on her new dress
But if I’m being MALIGNANT she often looked a blinking mess!
Our TRANSITORY seldom meetings were never that much fun
We would DISSIPATE quickly, and out of the door I would run
I would GRAVITATE to the garden to get a little bit of peace
In the end I decided that our rare visits would now have to cease!
FICTIONAL WRITE FOR 10 WORD CONTEST BY JOHN HAMILTON
09~04~16
Any form is acceptable. YOU MUST USE ALL OF THE FOLLOWING 10 WORDS
1. ALIENATE 2. CAPRICIOUS 3. DISSIPATE 4. GRAVITATE 5.FLATTER 6. INURBANE 7. MALIGNANT 8.PERSPICUOUS 9. TRANSITORY 10. SCAPEGOAT
My Mother-In-Law has passed
so she is no longer here.
Mixed feelings I have
but a little less fear.
She was not my big fan,
was less tolerant than most.
She called me a bum... I thought
'What a strange wedding day toast?'
I was told more than once
my Wife could do better.
She wrote Ann Landers nine times
about me in some letters.
She would scream like a banshee
with a voice unlike silk.
I was always hoping to see her
displayed on a carton of milk.
She was always at our house
so I had no where to flee.
A cold wind would soon follow
killing the leaves on our trees.
Real Estate values have fallen
all over our block.
She kept wearing those short shorts
when out for a walk.
There was a knock on my door
and who did I find?
But a 'Peeping Tom' crying,
'Please close all your blinds.'
A sizable women as she smoked...
had a cough.
When the Lady broke wind...
my car alarm would go off.
We had gone to the beach
and swam late through the night.
She then got a bit hungry
and bit a Great White.
The next day we went to the Zoo
where she was attacked by three apes.
The battle was wild and fierce...
only one would escape.
I arrive early for the service,
it's the least I can do.
Considering our checkered history
and what we've been through.
The people are surprisingly quiet,
they are silent in prayer.
But my thoughts turn quickly to lunch,
what will they prepare?
I will definitely miss her somewhat
as I ponder her fate.
For poor Heaven has gained
a little more weight.
But if Heaven be not
but the other direction.
I have no doubt she will have
the Devil's affection.
We shouldn't speak ill of the dead
as there is no need to flaunt.
They may come back as spirits
determined to haunt.
The Church service is finished
as the mourners depart.
The only thing left
is to put a stake in her heart.
The End
*For those who might be interested. I will be posting my cartoon 'Bob's your Uncle' on my homepage. A new one will appear every second day.
[Please note: while this poem may seem harsh, my mother-in-law did much good in her long life, more than I expect I have. It was prompted by the 'shock' that death has the power to take even those with the fiercest of wills.]
How could this...thing have been her?
Lying shriveled and small on the bed,
as those who loved (and feared) her
gathered in the bereft hospital room
to let their shock and grief melt and
mold itself into its own atmosphere....
Her body seemed never to have been real,
never to have been a woman,
never to have been young once, and surely,
never to have been a mother....
And if it had been a body once,
housing a small dragon who could lash out fire
solely with her harsh and brutal tongue,
keeping those who loved her at bay and
the rest of us wary, aware of her power,
her terrible gift that seemed to shrink your soul--
then where did she go when her mouth froze open
as the last breath of a long life left quietly,
silently, without fuss or rancor...?
Still, though imperfect as you or I,
she was loved, mourned, honored....
If God only housed saints,
think how terribly lonely He would be.
Try not to roll your eyes
when she is giving helpful hints
of how she does everything.
Make sure her son (your hubby)
calls her every Sunday
and offer to help her with her gardening chores
even though you detest everything
to do with gardening
Take her a cooked casserole
every week, and sit and watch
her favorite TV show with her.
It’s the little things that count more
And let her boast about her roast
and how he(her son) loves her cooking the most.
After all, one day, you too
will be a Mother-in- Law.
An aside: This is purely fictional and written
to a prompt - to write a How to poem.
I actually loved my Mother-in-Law and we got along
famously. I was heart broken when she passed away.
The mother-in-law woke me with her dry cough.
The electric alarm clock is registering 6am;
two hours since the baby’s last feed—
the one she came to help me with.
I crawl out of my warm bed to put the kettle on
and select the chipped coffee mug for her.
A l i e n a t e me from the mother-in-law,
malignant by nature with many flaws-
“Oh don’t try to flatter me!
You’re inurbane, can’t you see!”
I surely failed getting luck of the draw!
His mother can sure be quite capricious,
and most of the time can be malicious-
“Please gravitate off the earth,
you d i s s i p a t e your own worth…
and your apple pie isn’t delicious!”
I liked her in a transitory way,
until she RUINED my own wedding day-
Tripped me walking down the aisle,
perspicuous! Saw her smile---- :)
as a scapegoat she blamed it on Aunt May!
Ten Word Challenge Contest
Sponsor: John Hamilton
Date Written: September 5, 2016
With only one look it ruptured my spleen
The ugliest creature I've ever seen
You'd know if you ever saw
It's called my mother-in-law
And smells like the gas produced from a bean
My Mother In Law
Saw a view appearing to be panoramic,
Of me while I had laid in my hammock;
For ugliness there was no known cure;
Much more then anyone could endure.
Instead of being on welfare or relief,
Living beyond budget was our belief;
Wife had wanted to knock me flat;
She did see me sat on her furry cat.
She was really someone to talk about;
Did describe her as being a knockout,
Who would often wear us to a frazzle,
When she performed her razzle dazzle.
So why did she want to look like me?
Horribly ugly like no one wants to be;
Should see her exhibit wild will power;
I again had forgot to wash out shower.
Then terrible thought to me did occur,
Compared to me no one can be uglier,
After I did decide this was last straw;
She ended up being my mother in law.
James Thesarious Hilarious Horn
Retired Veteran and Pathetic Poet
She never understood...
the pain her words inflicted.
Year after year the comments came....
like salt poured in an open wound.
She never understood before...
the damage it has done...
I hope some day she will...cause this isn't any fun.
To all her friends and kin...
about her son...there was no end of praises...
it seemed he could do no wrong...
why he must be ole Abe Lincoln.
He has grown to be so strong...
and where there once was rage...
he's mellowed out...there is no doubt.
There has been a lot of changes...
I wonder what his secret was?
Could it be...why surely not...
there must be some mistake...
to the message that you got.
Why it's the one who stands beside him
who filled his heart with love.
It was then they both realized...
they fit together like a hand and glove.
The Lord said how you judge others...
will return in spades to you...
when you least expect it...so be careful what you do.
You will look into the mirror...
what you've accused others of...
your own needs now far passed.
There's nothing wrong with giving praise...
it really can be quite healing...
just remember when you leave one person out...
then self worth you could be stealing.
When friends your introducing go on and on about all the great
things you say your sons done...
his mate...she waits to hear...with some small hope...
even a crumb of some excitement that their worth anything at all.
It takes courage to keep on trying to care...
and love yourself and others...while the walls around you...
seem to fall like rolling thunder.
So before you get to be that person's private judge and jury...
take a moment to self reflect...
go on...your in no hurry.
P.R. Deremer
she lived far away
the phone to communicate
first question asked
always check weather
then how are you doing now
a happy response
want her back again
two weeks for pleasure visit
wished for us again
Copyright 2011
Anne Rutherford.
For Dr. Ram Mehta's contest, in laws
The way you walk unsteadily,
But those wrinkled hands made dishes heavenly
Your words are straightforward, sometimes spicy
But it contains nectar with perfect quality
Tenacity of yours become an allurement
Upon the reflection of the ideal mother on earth
I grabbed your hand in the middle of our walk
I sustain half weight of yours when you said tired on your footsteps
We laughed off the humority of our different generations
The curve of your face overshadowing me by the figure of your son, my husband
What have I got sometimes beyond the things which I earn from my mom
You missed your grandchildren, you say
You missed the excitement in the middle of your living room which now is hollow
The curve of your face overshadowing me by the figure of your son, my husband
You said, every descendants of yours should be mature by their educations
"Do not repeat the failure of my times"
Economic problems snatched your opportunity
Your chance to gain the precious time in knowledge, you say
You said with the trembling lips
And eyes glazed with tears which almost spill
My heart melts
I held my bleary as well
Dear mother-in-law
Our lives would be much better
A promise will I hold till further
For the sake of your son, my husband
My Mother In Law Just Did Die
Lee McCarroll Webster died around
One AM today. We were just notified
b the Batesville, Arkansas care home
near the Whitewater River. God had
allowed us to see her one last time.
Dementia and old age took their toll.
She did not recognize us. Also, just
read Poem of the Day by Liam McDaid
after I wrote this.
Closer and closer to God did grow and grow
Died and was with Him short time ago
We had been told by a telephone call
She know receives sympathy from us all.
What is last memory we remember of her?
Was love she had for us that is for sure
Later visit made which was well planned
And for last time she squeezed my hand.
So in heaven is where she happens to be
Where she is waiting for you and me
And it is on God who we always relied
Will save place for us after we died.
James Mysterious Serious Horn
Retired Veteran and Poet
Jim Horn
I just wanted to take the time
To thank you for all you do,
Through the up's and down's
The hard time's you've helped us through
You have helped me in way's,
You'll never know.
The void in me you have filled
Something's i was missing in my life
Some of the values that you instilled
Your's was the voice of reason
When i would have sworn i was right.
No matter how i fought it
You have helped me to see the light
You're just like the northern stars
A beacon when i feel lost
A strong shoulder we have leaned on
No matter what the cost
You stepped up and made me feel
Like one of your own
I know you didn't have to
And because of that i have grown
You gave more than you had to
And i can't thank you enough
So thank you for just being there
When life feed's so tough.
There’s nothing like a mother in law.
My mother in law is quite a trip.
Every time she gets up from a chair
she has to let one rip.
I mean, you will never participate
in a fart like one of these.
You know without a doubt
who cracked that awful cheese.
She just fans it and goes her way.
Just as sassy as your please,
as if it wasn’t her that
stirred that awful breeze.
I thought I would shame her once
and cut her to the floor.
She just laughed and hiked that hip
and gave me one or two more.
And as the green fog raised the roof
I gagged, rubbing my eyes and swore,
Mom, you’re the champ, I can’t beat
that hole you just blew through the door.
© Jun 7 2011 Charles Henderson
For Brian's 2,4,6, or 8 line form contest
There once was a man who started to shake
The day he was married his heart would break
It happened the day he saw
His ugly mother-in-law
'Twas way too much for the poor man to take
Okay I lied it wasn't a good mother-in-law poem