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Best Funny Poems

Below are the all-time best Funny poems written by Poets on PoetrySoup. These top poems in list format are the best examples of funny poems written by PoetrySoup members


Hard Times
When hard times come they sit a spell,
Like kin folk come to stay
A-packin' troubles, pets an' kids
That always get ‘n your way.
It's drought an' flood,...

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© Jim Fish  Create an image from this poem.
Categories: cowboy-western, family, funny, life,



Premium Member I Think Of You - An Alternative Universe - 6

From childhood it was a world of two...you and I...
I leaned lightly, leisurely against your heart and you let me in.

We were five I use...

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Categories: funny, best friend, cute love,

I want your SEEDS
**"And his name was Jack"**

No one perceives what abides above the clouds. 
A giant, a harp, maybe golden eggs. 
I demand to see and feel...

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Categories: adventure, funny, old,

The Squirrel
~My Nutty Squirrel Poem~

Up in a tree, on a branch
Now you see me, now you don't!

Sneaky and fast, I'm adorable
Now, why would you hunt or...

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Categories: funny, adventure, animal, beautiful, blessing,

Premium Member Real Men Wear Pink
I stand about five feet eight
I'll admit, I'm a tad overweight
Drive an old pick up truck
Not one to pass the buck
At the moment have a...

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Categories: character, funny, humor, perspective,

Sweet Sugar Cookies and Peanut Butter Bars
"I dream of Candy!"

Sweet cakes and peanut butter squares 
A living diabetic's nightmare. --  My heart 
sings to the beat, Under the Neutron Star...

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Categories: addiction, candy, fantasy, funny,

GREEN- reborn
GREEN, GREEN, GREEN!!!

My name is Jade Shamrock Green.
I will not eat one single green bean.
When I get mad, I turn green.
I wear my favorite green...

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Categories: funny, holidaygreen,

Premium Member A funny thing happened on the way to my hanging
A funny thing happened on the way to my hanging
Couldn't sleep the night before my head was banging
I was innocent of a crime that I...

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Categories: brother, funny,

Premium Member Just Desserts
I was at my favourite restaurant and I'd had a lovely meal,
if I finished all my food then a pudding was the deal
I’d relished every...

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Categories: food, funny, humorous, rude,

Premium Member Dumb Questions
I was changing a tire and the neighbor walked by
Stood and looked a while, then he said Hi
Got a flat? he asked and this made...

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Categories: funny, me, wife, me,

ALWAYS MOTHERS DAY
I have borrowed  the first line of this piece from the"unknown scribe" , which I 
read many years ago.... The rest is for ALL...

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© Sean Kelly  Create an image from this poem.
Categories: funny, mother, thank you,

Premium Member BLACK and BLUE
BLACK and BLUE

Today I wonder, 
Wonder why?
You hit me in the eye, 
you made me cry.

My eyes are brown,
Now they're black and blue.
Is that what...

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© SKAT A   Create an image from this poem.
Categories: abuse, funny, husband, me,

Premium Member If I Were The One For Nicola
If only I could make my way to Paris
To search the boulevards and rainy rues
I'd look to find my lonely heart an heiress
An Irish lass...

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Categories: funny love,

Coffee
COFFEE

Coffee is my medication,
Savoury warm embrace.
Supplies me with motivation
To get me through rough days.
Should I stumble, should I fall,
I’ll get a kick at ten.
Java is...

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Categories: funny,

Premium Member Doggy Style
The eighties set fashion on fire,
That’s why it’s the look I desire!
So I’ve nailed it, long-term,
With a hot poodle perm,
Just like Brian May, Cher and...

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Categories: beauty, dog, fun, funny,

Premium Member I Wish I Was An Octopus
I wish I was an... octopus,
Way down in the depths of the sea,
With suckers so comical, face diabolical,
Kooky as kooky can be!

Hurray! Hurray! I’d be...

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Categories: animal, fun, funny, humorous,

Premium Member How Long
I've never kissed a pig with my eyes closed
Nor have I ever held a hand of time
However, there was once when I proposed
But that was...

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Categories: funny, love, sad,

Premium Member Mimes at My Funeral
When my time is done and I am finally laid to rest
I don’t want to be recalled as one who lived life depressed

So as I...

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Categories: funeral, funny, humor, life,

A Tribute to a Major Appliance
Sub-titled: What’s in YOUR Fridge?

Please allow me to introduce myself:
My name is Ms. Fridge A. Daire
I stand tall among my lesser cohorts
and MOST of them...

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Categories: funny, humorous, relationship,

A Bad Day at the Eye Doctor's- a true story
"It was 6 or 7 years ago
Or so I'd like to think
I traveled to my eye doctor..
(I should'a seen a "shrink"!!)

My dad and I we...

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© tom bell  Create an image from this poem.
Categories: funny, life, mystery, me,

Premium Member Little Miss Spring
They say it's a time to slip in the mud, and begin anew.
Kick off the dust of yester ...
      and...

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Categories: funny, adventure, appreciation, beauty, crazy,

More Foolish Footles for Super Soupy Soupers -
Andrea D?...No brainer:
Dandy
Andie

Or in her younger, wilder days she may have been:
Randy
Andie?
(Just kidding! Just kid...Ouch!)

I have no choice but to categorize several poems by my...

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Categories: funny, me,

Premium Member This Is Jack
Yesterday I saw a very creepy mouse, 
Sneaking right through my front door, 
He was wearing tails and a top black hat 
And dragging a...

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Categories: funny, humorous,

Premium Member Americans Can't Spell
You Americans really can’t spell,
There, I’ve said it out loud - what the hell!
Though we all recognise,
And, yes, humour your tries,
Well, the fact is, you’ve...

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Categories: fun, funny, humor, humorous,

Premium Member Sickbags
Troop-troop-a-troop, into line, bright-eyed poets,
There’s one way to write now! We’ve told you! You know it!
Don’t mention your heart or your soul, don’t go aching
Or...

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Categories: fun, funny, humor, humorous,