Best Silly Poems

"I dream of Candy!"

Sweet cakes and peanut butter squares 
A living diabetic's nightmare. --  My heart 
sings to the beat, Under the Neutron Star...

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Twas the night before Christmas, when all thru the Soup bowl,
Not a poet was writing, not even the musing mole.
All their pens were hung by...

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I don’t know tic tac toe
so I rhyme this with flow,
showing Nick Nac knows 
how to serve the perfect dose.

Measuring the rhymes
like I’m pleasuring the...

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You Americans really can’t spell,
There, I’ve said it out loud - what the hell!
Though we all recognise,
And, yes, humour your tries,
Well, the fact is, you’ve...

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Who was that masked man?!?
Brian Williams, rides again.

He was in Amilia Earhart's plane;
even rode with the Dalton Gang.

The day the Titanic went down;
In the rescue...

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The eighties set fashion on fire,
That’s why it’s the look I desire!
So I’ve nailed it, long-term,
With a hot poodle perm,
Just like Brian May, Cher and...

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I would like to talk about "nothing"
It is a most peculiar word
I have heard it used so often
The way it's used  is often absurd...

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Words can be whimsical, a merry-go-round
They run in a circle, they bounce up and down
They play hide-and-seek, until they are found
Look how quickly the little...

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Tell me
how did we get here 
at a swishing swapping party?
(The voices echo in emptiness) 

Bubbly cheerful and happy, naked and raw 
forever bachelors Larry...

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Clothes all clean
but the washing machine
ate up all my panties.

Raced to the store 
to buy some more,
But bought instead some brandy.

Stopped at a shop
for a...

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    I sure                   ...

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That day by the lake,
tattered jeans and old t-shirts,
my hand in your back pocket as we walked,
your thumb
hooked over the top of my waistband.
It was...

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It's the summer, and it's time
to take the train to old Saint Ives
and visit my Aunt Clementine
who lives alone by an old salt mine. ...

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Why do they call it 'tourist season'
If you're not allowed to shoot 'em
Seems like a great opportunity
To end the over crowding problem

If a house fly...

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Our Boogeyman


There is a boogeyman within
this home of ours, we swear he's here!
He comes and goes to mess with us
and bring about a silly fear.

It...

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A cute gentile pig in New York
plays hopscotch over turtle hurdles
which eased her bunny
until a smack talking turkey announced,
'Did you hear how the skunks in...

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On this merry-go-round

     Of breakups and breakdowns

Singing the blues

     In our ding-a-ling shoes

We take our heartache's milkshakes

...

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Hi! I'm Alan
  the astrologer
I used to be 
  a mythologer

Here's the forecast
  for tonight
I'm sure you'll see
  I've got it...

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8MILE8MILE    .     .     .     .     ....

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                  "I  LIKE NONSENSE, IT WAKES UP...

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Is it Love
a simple bowl of ice cream
sweating from the heat
cherries on the top
huddled 'round and looking sweet
two little wooden paddles
pretend that they are spoons
as...

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The town was all a flutter; Zombie the Musical, was coming to town.
We all signed up as extras… Yes, as Zombies… here we did come.
Bruce...

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If someone at work saw my Mary,
I’d resign just as quick as can be,
But men have to face this fear squarely,
When they go for a...

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God made Adam out of the clay,
A friend for walks in the cool of the day.
Eden was all that Adam had to tend,
But God decided...

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My middle aged spread is just spreading
So I thought i should join a new gym
Got to fit in my dress for a wedding
With some exercise...

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