Best Silly Poems

"I dream of Candy!"

Sweet cakes and peanut butter squares 
A living diabetic's nightmare. --  My heart 
sings to the beat, Under the Neutron Star Crunch
Sweet sugar cookies and peanut butter bars

Taunting whoopers, 
Dancing dum dum's, 
The sweetest silhouette show - in my room
Dreamy, Creamy...

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Twas the night before Christmas, when all thru the Soup bowl,
Not a poet was writing, not even the musing mole.
All their pens were hung by the chimney with bubble gum,
Hoping Winged Warrior would lose and let them win some.

The poetesses were nestled snuggled in their...

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I don’t know tic tac toe
so I rhyme this with flow,
showing Nick Nac knows 
how to serve the perfect dose.

Measuring the rhymes
like I’m pleasuring the lines,
leisure for the minds
like I’m lemon and I’m lime,

1st and 2nd personalities 
pushed to share realities, 
combining combat and comebacks...

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Who was that masked man?!?
Brian Williams, rides again.

He was in Amilia Earhart's plane;
even rode with the Dalton Gang.

The day the Titanic went down;
In the rescue boat when Rose was found.

He went on expeditions with Louis and Clark.
Once gave his seat to Rosa Parks.

He was actually...

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Words can be whimsical, a merry-go-round
They run in a circle, they bounce up and down
They play hide-and-seek, until they are found
Look how quickly the little ones grow!

Words can seduce like a scandalous dance
They'll perplex the complex, if given a chance
They're as sincere as England, as...

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No blue hair or curls for me.
I’ll grow old naturally.
Hanging breasts and flattened bum,
crooked teeth and graying gum.
Sagging knees and chicken skin,
sunny spots and double chin.
Silver streaks through thinning hair,
dimming eyesight no repair.
Crinkly crow’s eyes and flat feet
singing as the Maker I meet.
I don’t care...

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Tell me
how did we get here 
at a swishing swapping party?
(The voices echo in emptiness) 

Bubbly cheerful and happy, naked and raw 
forever bachelors Larry and Harry, 
and the hot mom and the pool boy 
go flash dancing with dawn! 

Be warned, winkydinks 
I had...

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When Dorothy and Tin Man were dating
She didn’t prepare for the mating
Til’ she heard a bang
And shouted out, “Dang,
Something inside there’s inflating”

Since Dorothy’s one chick he lusted
Poor Tin said he was disgusted
Coz there was no oil can
Nearby them at hand
To free up his zipper now...

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 I sure                                          ...

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That day by the lake,
tattered jeans and old t-shirts,
my hand in your back pocket as we walked,
your thumb
hooked over the top of my waistband.
It was hot,
...damned hot.

You tilted your hat at a silly angle and laughed,
I looked over and thought
'Hot,
...damned hot'

Smiles exchanged and then a...

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I would like to talk about "nothing"
It is a most peculiar word
I have heard it used so often
The way it's used  is often absurd 
I'm told there's "nothing" to worry about
Yet I worry about "nothing" for days
I try to stop worrying about "nothing"
and why...

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Our Boogeyman


There is a boogeyman within
this home of ours, we swear he's here!
He comes and goes to mess with us
and bring about a silly fear.

It happens if we're here or not; 
he seems to go from room to room
to keep us guessing why we see
phenomena...

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Why do they call it 'tourist season'
If you're not allowed to shoot 'em
Seems like a great opportunity
To end the over crowding problem

If a house fly loses both of its wings
Would we have to call them 'walks'
Is it possible to have a civil war
Of course not...

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It's the summer, and it's time
to take the train to old Saint Ives
and visit my Aunt Clementine
who lives alone by an old salt mine.  

Aunt Clementine, she likes to dine
on mac and cheese at half past nine
then eats big slices of strawberry pie
while she...

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A cute gentile pig in New York
plays hopscotch over turtle hurdles
which eased her bunny
until a smack talking turkey announced,
'Did you hear how the skunks in bombay
lost a spelling bee - to an
artistic aardvark named clark?'

Around her, muttering mosquitoes
Dear teddy bear, my teddy bear
While a mynah...

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