Poetry Forum

jessica312 - all messages by user

9/19/2017 6:07:09 PM
Please Critique My poem and Give Feedback :)	When I was just just a little girl I thought I knew it all But as the years passed by I have never felt so small I never knew what life would be like without you teaching me But now I'm lost and am scared but there's no way to flee Dad I know you'd want me to be happy and I know you'd want me to smile But losing you has confused my soul and set me back awhile We were just becoming closer, becoming the best of friends I know we had many disagreements but in the end we made amends I miss you everyday and cry when I'm alone I'm lost inside with nowhere to hide I wish that I had known Life is different now I feel guilty to laugh and sing I know it shouldn't be that way but you were my everything I looked up to you for guidance, for strength, for love, for hope But in the end you'll always be my best friend and in time I'll learn to cope It's almost been three years dad and life has knocked me down It's beaten me up, bruised my heart, and tossed me all around But life has also brought a brand new meaning From diaper changes, little coos, and the occasional screaming From I love you's, to bedtime kisses, all the way to morning messes From pacifiers, to baby swings, and little tiny frilly things Baby baths, little naps, apple juice, and diaper bags Cuddles, tantrums, spills, and cuts So much sass it's driving me nuts The stress, the love, this life that I chose Could only get better the more that they grow My heart is so full, this much is true The only thing my life could ever need now is you. edited by jessica312 on 9/19/2017
9/19/2017 7:21:48 PM
Please Critique My poem and Give Feedback :)	please critique and give feedback please. I'd love to know your thoughts. edited by jessica312 on 9/19/2017
9/19/2017 8:03:17 PM
Criticize me as much as possible please.	Absolutely beautiful. The only things i notice needing critiquing is the part about freezing in fire and also I'm not sure if you meant to put wrecks instead of reeks. Might've been misspelled or you may have meant to put wrecks. For the freezing in fire(in my most humblest opinion) I would put something like sweltering instead of freezing or scorching, blistering, searing, etc...
9/19/2017 9:23:58 PM
Please Critique My poem and Give Feedback :)	I've got 41 views and not a single person to give me feedback... either it must really suck or it was great... I'd like to know which one it is lol
9/19/2017 9:56:56 PM
Please Critique Mine - Id really appreciate it	Love the wordplay and the adjectives you used! This is really wonderful! I do hope you continue writing amazing pieces like this one! Also if you'd like to give feedback or critique on mine that would help me out a bunch!!
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