Limerick Poems

If I was a Rocky Mountain Goat
I would wear a furry overcoat.
I would walk rocks
Ignore all clocks
And jump off cliffs onto river boats.

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British found oodles of Vitamin C
In a place unknown by you and me.
Rose hip jam
That’s right ma’am.
During World War Two kept children healthy.


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A famous TV star is called 'Big Bird'
At Thanksgiving he's at a loss for words --
   His fellow birds are eaten
   Down is his spirit beaten --
What eight-foot canary is not absurd?


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A streaker with great bouncing balls
Ran up and down our High School halls
Our cheerleaders said
Their faces were red
But they act on all sporting calls...Read More

Some people like to poke
Other people, they think it's a joke
If you poke back
They give you a smack
Another friendship goes up in smoke!...Read More

Desiree was extremely rich
Had everything one could desire
Until a boy named Tom
With a home-made bomb
Set Desiree's house on fire!...Read More

Ladies, here’s advice I simply can’t
hold back, and conscience says I shan’t:
If you plan to don your “tini”
frame in a racy, hot bikini,
be aware: a strip of cloth that scant
wasn’t designed for the overabundant....Read More

Waiting rooms are the worst by far
Avoiding the stares of others we stare at the floor
So uncomfortable
Others also vulnerable
Some are sweating bullets, others snore




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You must be careful if you really don't know
Where you're going cuz you might miss the show
You paid big bucks
At famous YukYuks
Laughed so hard, peed your panties, hope it don't snow




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There are 31,556,926 seconds in a day
So when we say, “wait a second” here's what we're saying
In actual time
It's time to dine 
Dinner will be here in 1/31,556,926th of a day, okay?




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Chained down in time for a while
Not one to just clown around
No place for my off-world style
Just got to keep writing it down

Been washed in my tears long enough to keep soggy 
Just enough to see through what appears to...Read More

There once was a poet from London,
Whose verses often veered t’word a pun,
He suffered the asthma,
Had anemic plasma,
So paper and ink summed up his fun 
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Flora bought a new fur coat
It was made from stoat
She craved for a mink
And was wise enough to think
That possibility remote...Read More

Ned had a very long nose
When he bent over it touched his toes
Ned looked a freak
People would shriek
Pleased they didn't have one of those...Read More

Rover the dog got stuck in a bog
When searching for a bone
As he was sinking
He started thinking
He wished he had a phone...Read More

We Went to Each Event

By God we were sent to each event;
Had enjoyed it when there we went,
And map read;
To Him lead,
After He explained what this meant.

Jim Horn

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We Vowed To See a Shroud

What we vowed was to see a shroud;
It once had been among a big crowd;
Body cover;
Birds hover;
Now found floating in a nebulas cloud.

Jim Horn

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There was a young girl from Marfee
Her nickname was young cute blondie.
Teeth were all rotted
Men were all sotted
She's a firm forty-two double dee.
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There was once a lady named Babs Bower

   Who lived 'cross town on a street called Tower

      She could talk you to death

         Not coming...Read More

The hunk who is heading your way
Is not hoping you want to play
He just wants your phone
So all that you own
Is his at the end of the day!...Read More

All I want from Christmas Eve reindeer
A basset hound puppy to revere
With a Rudolph nose
To elf size she grows
Jingle bell stepping on her own ears!

11/19/19

For 'Holiday Themed Limerick' contest
Sponsor:  Tania Kitchin...Read More

Illness Then Loneliness and Stillness

Seemed so sick from  a severe illness,
While she would suffer with loneliness,
And off carried;
In grave buried;
Died and what remained was stillness.

Jim Horn

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Choir Great Music Made

Together choir great music made,
While Jesus in His cradle had laid;
Animals in a flock,
Along with live stock,
And went to barn where he stayed.

Star can clearly be seen in the sky,
After being there it would pass by;

All those...Read More

TOP GUN.

A keen jet pilot broke the speed of sound
A loud sonic boom he caused on the ground
House windows were broken
The whole town awoken
Claims from lawyers to the air force abound...
 
SANTA ON THE RUN

Santa got pulled over on the...Read More

Jesus In Cradle Laid

Together choir great music made,
While Jesus in His cradle had laid;
Fast or slow,
Sing a solo,
Or in harmony had been singing.

James Horn


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Read wonderful limerick poetry on the following sub-topics: birthday, christmas, dirty, dog, family, food, friends, funny, irish, kids, leprechaun, life, love, music, nature, rhyme, rude, saint patricks day, school, sports, war and more. Read a definition and example (where appropriate).