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morabgirl - all messages by user

5/16/2010 11:01:39 PM
Dreaming I , also, really enjoyed the poem. But it is hard to read because of the layout. It's almost like reading run-on sentences...trying using better form, a better layout. Make it easier on the eye to read.
9/16/2012 4:23:37 AM
Northwest Witch (Harsh critique appreciated!) Well, if you wrote this for a song for a rock band... then you did well.
To me, as a poem, there is nothing memorable in this. Nothing original, new, or slightly intreaguing.
I DO like, however, the line of "cockroach eyes"
9/16/2012 4:25:30 AM
Underdog Plain BORING
9/16/2012 4:30:39 AM
All Opinions are appreciated 'The Chiming Winter' wow, I will have to say this is the best one I have read in a very long time. You have rythm, meter, vocab, reason, intrigue, beauty, ugliness... Normally I stay away from ANYTHING with the word Jesus on it for it's usually someone whining, over and over whining. This was.... amazing, change nothing I say.
Amy Green
9/16/2012 4:32:44 AM
Three Illegal Questions You are so incredibly cliche it is unbelievable
9/16/2012 4:35:06 AM
The King's Dreams This has hope. Work on your meter some and use more colorful vocab.
9/16/2012 4:38:35 AM
Counterfeit Emotions Sweety, try originality. You have the ideas, you just need the words. Seriously, work on that vocab and presentation
3/30/2014 9:39:57 AM
In Death we become something more This is well written except for the end, 'For we have become the grass and a part of the rest of you'
I understand what you mean but it throws the poem off balance and really does not belong.
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