Poetry Forum

Apocapus - all messages by user

5/18/2010 10:17:14 AM
To the Gulf Of Mexico (To be renamed)	Sweet Empty gulf farewell all the animals I've known so well adrift among the lifeless waves corroding in the grim sun's rays. Oh the dim murk reeks of death the odors cause my nose distress I'll never see the water blue consumed forever by BP's Crude. - To every animal that has swam, trot, or flew I bid thee all adieu I'll miss you. I revised it...tell me what you all think
5/18/2010 10:21:13 AM
Freed Spirit	I agree with most everything in that poem... People fought for every right we had...and it's worth fighting to protect them.
5/18/2010 10:28:55 AM
When Wars End	Why did you call me a doofus and then write everything I basically said...do you agree with doofuses often? Vietnam is being replayed...Every time a soldier enlists...it's being replayed. Yes the draft is gone but you fail to realize the ultimate blackmail. With so many jobs going overseas and the rising prices of college and all the attacks on civil liberties. Most kids have no choice but to go to the Military, it's the only way they can get paid. Yes politicians and Corporate interests keep the wars going, Wars that don't really have to exist...I think we're making it worse. I think we're making more terrorists for every one we kill. Rural Farmers in Afghanistan who are basically clueless and have no real idea why the U.S is in their country are being invaded by troops and having their relatives killed. I saw this one speak and he was saying that his brother was killed and all young boys in his family..."and the U.S lying if they call him and his family terrorists because all we do is farm." That's a quote. So...yeah...thousands are still dying in a civil war that's none of our business. But you shouldn't blame all the kids that join...Most come from really poor families. Maybe we should look at an economic climate and all the military recruiters that fill these kid's heads with false bravado without explaining the risks. What are military recruiters doing in our schools?? edited by Apocapus on 5/18/2010 edited by Apocapus on 5/18/2010 edited by Apocapus on 5/18/2010
5/18/2010 4:09:05 PM
To the Gulf Of Mexico (To be renamed)	That's assuming that nothing lives on land near the Gulf...No little rodents or animals of any kind. I chose trot because it worked nicely with my flow...and could be a euphemism for animals on land. Ummm...Hopefully in the future everyone will know about this horrible crime...especially anyone who grows up in the south and sees the black polluted water and wonders how it got that way.
5/19/2010 7:54:55 PM
The Rumble	I hear a rumble, a distant rumble and a pain. Again I hear a rumble, a vibration in the air Perhaps thunder Then the pain, the vicious pain returns. I feel a pain, a vicious pain from within. Will it rain? I hear a rumble, a distant rumble in my head. I feel the vertigo setting in, I yell with all I have but no one hears. The floor becomes the ceiling and I plummet to my knees. I hear the thunder growing stronger my insides start to shake. The pain becomes more then I can bare and I weep. I weep in the cold, I taste my tears They become my only nourishment and my fear. I find myself on my back, gasping Screaming! I need food I need food I need food But I know I won't get any. - I wrote this, fighting a headache and incoming writer's block. So...I hope theres nothing wrong with it. Tell me what you think
5/20/2010 12:56:09 PM
Dreaming	Spade...you should use your imagination more....things don't have to make sense.
5/20/2010 8:57:19 PM
When Wars End	Sir, I meant no disrespect. I was simply stating my opinion. I'm barely surviving...so I wouldn't say I was insulting my own class. I Was stating a fact. When was the last time one of those politicians kids put their lives on the line for this country. It's easy to think the poorer class is being exploited. If your willing to watch a video...you'll see
5/21/2010 11:34:17 AM
Dreaming	Your welcome to your opinion...but I write poems that sound beautiful to me...I don't necessarily even see what you are talking about...it makes sense to me...and other people I showed it to agreed. If Pablo Picaso paints an abstract and people begin to complain that the nose isn't where it should be...I'm sure he would respond the same way as me. I like my poem as is...period. edited by Apocapus on 5/21/2010
5/21/2010 3:35:01 PM
When Wars End	Ummm I understand...a lot of great writers and scholars whose work I appreciate...wouldn't have had their college degree without the GI act...but GI act was repealed...Which means a lot of U.S troops can't attend college on a government scholarship anymore. So theres another thing I'm peeved about. I think that every person has rights...and time and time again...It seems like few people believe that, especially within the upper classes.
5/22/2010 9:45:25 AM
Dreaming	Umm...I already got critique on it...I just don't want to butcher it...Sometimes it's how a poem reads and sounds not what's in it.
5/24/2010 9:07:51 AM
When it rains	Epic Beauty!!!! Bravo!
6/2/2010 11:41:50 AM
OBLIVION: Observations of Another World	Wonderful Poem, A few lines don't flow well..... But I can't think at the moment...so I don't know how to fix them.
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