Poetry Forum
gailde
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all messages by user
2/25/2012 12:46:23 PM
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Happy to Have Found This Site
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I live in the United States and have been writing poetry on and off since I was 6 years old. I have never actually sold my poetry, but was published in a couple of school (high school and college) literary magazines. I think that this site is a wonderful idea and am excited to be able to read the works of poets from all around the world, and also share my work, as well.
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3/10/2012 4:05:37 AM
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Asking for Critiques of my poetry
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Hello!
I have been writing poetry since I was a youth, but have not had my poetry critiqued in many years. It's always an ego-boost when I receive a positive comment because it means a great deal to me to see that there are people enjoying and gaining value from my poetry, but I am really interested in how you think I can improve on my poetry, as well. Thank you ahead of time for any constructive feedback you leave me on any of my poetry.
Here is one in particular that I would like constructive criticism for.
The Ouija Spelled Life Written March 8, 2012
Death mixed with morning rain and darkness, Icy patches hidden on the pavement Lived comfortably on the outside As I rode along in my car like the Planchette of a Ouija board.
Unaware that the power(s) that be Were battling against each other To push my car on the board to Spell out either life or death,
My morning thoughts Were interrupted By a 360 spin faster than The distance between Two thoughts...
Ending up muffler-first gagged on A snowbank with nothing, No one around for miles.
I gazed at the three-lane Highway where LIFE Was spelled out this time, And realized that DEATH may have been on the Board thirty minutes later During a busier time.
Thirty minutes later Found me talking To a mechanic Instead of my family talking About me in the past tense And trying to communicate with Me through the Ouija board.
Death inefficiently cheated Marked off on My To Do list For the day.
How many more times will I be able to mark that off? Dare I ask the Ouija board Knowingly sitting in the corner Of my closet? edited by gailde on 3/10/2012 edited by gailde on 3/10/2012
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