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12/20/2017 3:25:07 PM Sanja Cokolic Posts: 13	OZ isn't place in someone's imagination It always starts the same a fairy tale first child second child It you didn't even want to see him let alone give a name I did you vanished sleepless nights submersed in days hours became a battlefield we stood against over 20 armies they had a name and classification one life got cataloged yet destitute of any record as no one ever took his picture nameless faceless less human for the rest of them he turned to less but mine he was my silver shoes first years were a laugh then electrical storm aimed his metal hat and cry whispered - something is wrong they put him in great blackness and told me how the roads to that core were misplaced but he wasn't he was just in the right place my little tin man countless times shrunken metal heart stopped so I lend him mine and became his breath sight touch I've tried to overlay him as there were 3 openings in his plate armour strange how something empty can be a life-saver (had to save you) so I assembled these tin sheets in my arms and made system to see you we did it they finally saw us and named me the courageous one but I wasn't I was terrified to live without you yesterday I had to hang my silver shoes up and the letter came "Your right on the status of nursing parent stops with the death of a child with difficulties in development ..." that night ... I died with you
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12/21/2017 12:39:09 PM Stephen Wilson-Floyd Posts: 49	This is obviously a poem that has a lot of heart in it. It is very sad and has to do with the legal v. emotional rights the speaker has with a loved one. That said, I'm a little at a loss about the relationships. At first, I thought the speaker was speaking to an absentee father, who didn't care about a new born child. Then someone went to war, "a tin soldier", who died. Then at the end, it was about how the speaker lost legal control over an elderly adult. Between are many generalizations that for this reader didn't help the literal track of this. There is a lot of generalizing here. It is always a good bet to show more and not tell. Don't get me wrong, there is a great emotional poem here, but I would let the reader take the journey with the speaker not hear about it later. Best wishes!
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12/22/2017 7:16:41 AM Sanja Cokolic Posts: 13	this is a story about a mother that won a legal battle over her legal right to be a nursing parent and shortly afterward her child died. first, she is addressing her anger to a husband that left them, and then she is speaking to the system who has that discriminative note in its behavior toward people with disabilities. In between, she is kind of apologizing to her child because somewhere in the way his life became her reason for existence and in that sense, she did everything to keep him alive. She calls him a tin man because due to all medical equipment he was surrounded with he resembled at him. hope this explanation will help at least a bit thank you for your comment <3
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