Poetry Forum
For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
7/18/2011 6:30:33 PM
Paloma Walker Posts: 4
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(I also don't even know what form of poetry this would be considered.)
Destructive rose with your thorns
Elegance deserving to be forlorn
Stabbing those who hold you close
Deceiving those who love you most
Called by any other name, just as sweet?
How about betraying, beguiling, or disaster to complete
Lonely rose, receiving love
Yet only reciprocating with sharp pointed shove
Then someone reaches out
Reality piercingly clear
Your're certainly lovely
But never loving, my dear
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9/7/2011 7:29:43 PM
Keith Baker Posts: 18
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Awesome except the "Called by any other name, just as sweet?" line is number three on the list of cliches under resources. I like the idea of those two lines but I think they can be written with more originality and keep the same point. Maybe something like "Called Queen of the Bouquet for being so sweet"
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9/20/2011 12:03:06 PM
Eleanore Bourner Posts: 17
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I love the rhyming and I think it flows beautifully and I would just put the form down as Rhyme. ------Ell
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9/22/2011 12:19:56 PM
Esson Alumbugu Posts: 1
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This poem can safely be called a free verse. Stanza 1 has too much contrast in rhythm and syllable content thus creating no harmony. This gives a prose-like read to the poem. I hope you aren't rhyming "love" and "shove" in lines 8 & 9. But i like the theme and presentation. Thank you.
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