9/14/2017 12:58:09 AM
Faeeza Paruk Simjee
Posts: 14
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My Perfect Home Zone...
I want the breeze of Jannah to permeate our abodes,
A restful peace within it take hold,
So I ask Allah to fill in them His light entirely,
with joy, contentment, & pure tranquillity,
To answer my yearn for sounds of chirp & laughter
to echo in unified family chatter,
I invoke for ‘True Love’ to bond its members,
Magnanimity & clean-heartedness to infuse its chambers,
The gift of barakah to always abound,
Along with His nehmats & bounties all the years round,
Ease, warmth, & happiness;
Contentment, fulfillment & complete success,
To be written for us & our loved ones in eternal excess;
The treasures of kindness, compassion, understanding & spirituality,
Patience, goodness & giving charity
Appreciation, gratitude, & sincerity,
Be a trademark of all our destinies;
I ask that I, my loved ones, present & future progeny,
Be in the pleasure & true worship of Allah eternally,
And Sunnah practices of His chosen Prophet (PBUH) - Nabi-e-Rahmah,
Be the foundation upon which we build our family,
A home with the most beautiful mohabbat & unity,
cementing our ties for eternity.
Our souls to be the gardens in our homes sowing seeds,
where sunnah thrives in amal, aadhaab, akhlaq, & taqleed,
I plead security & protection for our households so endangered,
Against all that our Nabi(SAW) pleaded & rejected;
Oh Allah! Bless us in our homes,
Let Your security be it's protective dome,
And Your blessings & bounties in it be well known!
For verily You are its source of joy & sustenance,
And we have hope only in You surely
To Hear & fulfill what we ask duly,
To fill & reflect from us & our homes a countenance
That pleases You & pleases us in abundance.
GLOSSARY
Aakhirah = Arabic for After-LifeAllah = Arabic name for “God”‘
Amal = Arabic equivalent of act / actions/ deeds
Aadhaab = Arabic plural word for prescribed Islamic etiquette in the context of behaviour, e.g. refinement, good manners, morals, decorum, decency, humaneness. etc. Islam has rules of etiquette & an ethical code involving every aspect of life, so to exhibit Adab would be to show correct etiquette in behaviour, & taste in accordance, e.g. good manners, courtesy, respect, & appropriateness
Akhlaq = Arabic term referring to practice of virtue, morality & manners in Islamic theology & philosophy. Translated in English as disposition, nature etc.
Taqleed = To follow one who has the ability to extract the laws of Islam from the sources & thus understands Islamic legislations to teach it correctly to Muslims, so they in turn can elevate their worship/ obedience to God as per His revelation.
Barakah = There is no one word equivalent to convey the full meaning of barakah. It denotes abundance of goodness; something that keeps growing & progressing above & beyond expectation; persistence & stability in goodness. It’s a divine endowment enjoyed as blessing & is consistently asked of God…Jannah = Arabic for Paradise
Mohabbat = Binding wholesome deep love
Nabi = Prophet/ Divinely chosen Messenger of God’s word/ teachings
Nabi-e-Rahmah = Arabic for “Prophet of Mercy”
Nehmats = Gifts of/ from God (SAW) = Arabic equivalent of (Peace Be Upon Him)
Sunnah = Arabic term for complete role-model teachings of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) regarding every aspect of life including mannerism, behavior, dealings, worship, ethics, values, morality, etc.
edited by Faeeza Paruk Simje on 9/14/2017
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9/14/2017 12:30:47 PM
Jack Webster
Posts: 255
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I think this has a solid foundation. I think the yearning for a righteous life is expressed in a humble way.
I like the last stanza suggesting the soul is to be a garden. I think this needs to be expanded visually through the entire poem. i think there are lots of opportunities for rich imagery. The prayers of each stanza are good, but there are no images. When you describe beautiful things in your work, you can imagine they are offerings to God.
A garden has many images that could be described beautifully.
I have a suggestion about structure. It may not work. It is just an experiment.
I think each idea should be given three stanzas. If the idea is filling someone with light, then the three stanzas would be a) using images of that have no light in their hearts b) use images of the garden of paradise, showing light filling things - leaves, water, flowers, and how it gives it life c) your stanza of prayer for you and your family to be filled with the same light.
this would create a strong dynamic between the stanzas - suffering, beauty, prayer.
you could do this for each idea of the poem. When you get to the line about the soul being a garden, all of the stanzas of the garden of paradise will be remembered, and they will flood into the prayer to be filled with blessings
so the thought of each section is balanced between the dark example, the garden, and resolved in the prayer. I guess this is somewhat similar to strophe, antistrophe and epode in greek odes? only, youd be doing it for each idea, instead of once for the whole poem.
in the stanzas giving the dark examples, it will be important to simply describe the images without saying they are bad or something is wrong. the images will speak for themselves.
so, that is my idea. i don't know if you will like it or not.
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