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12/21/2016 12:30:09 PM
Bob Atkinson
Posts: 294
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Doldrums
- by - Bob Atkinson
seeing sends believing messages
directly to one's brain
yet when our off button's pushed
we're rarely aware of the lightest rain
enigmas of an early time
make me feel as if contrite
while doldrums send a message of
calm flashesof white light
as if a sailor on blue oceans
going south beyond equator
I feel as if my wind's becalmed of late
has taken to resting not gyrating
true, my energy of before
was like a whirlwind of haste
while those who followed me in step
ended in hospitals, exasperated
why these ideas perform
some mental images of late
seems thoughts while resting now
have old activities replaced
doldrums seem to me at this moment
a natural attitude of my body
while watching young with energy
I stand by this open gate yawning
not giving what I could before
in any meaningful way
just think I've done all that they do
that's all I have to say
no comment on their performance
I've had my time to shine
they need to realize this life
is a compound of yours and mine
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12/21/2016 11:26:24 PM
Doug Vinson
Posts: 102
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Bob, I like the overall idea - that the 'doldrums' isn't necessarily a bad thing, that there may be value in silence, watching, listening, contemplation.
The 2nd and 4th lines rhyme in the first two and last two stanzas, but not the middle four stanzas. I think the reader is going to notice that, and may feel the loss of the rhyme.
Writing with an eye to the reader - this may be cutting things pretty fine, but it's one thing that struck me - in the first stanza, you compare seeing (the senses, perception, going right into the brain, directly, believable) with when our switch is 'Off' - then we will be less sensitive, less open, receptive. To go from 'On' to 'Off' is a big change, and I think the contrast should then be big as well - not that if 'Off' we'll miss something small like "the lightest rain," but that we may miss something big, like heavy rain.
My opinion...
Best,
Doug
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12/23/2016 3:52:37 PM
Bob Atkinson
Posts: 294
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Doug,
It's a metaphor for the brainwashing we received during the past election. News outlets became brainwashing tools for who knows whom, and ceased reporting the news, something that happened in Germany in 1933. Half the population turned off their perception capabilities and drank the cool aide, thus becoming merely tools of the politicians. This resulted in a situation where nobody knew the truth, as the truth was suppressed. We lost control of our country. Issues in our interest were ignored. Transparency criticized (DNC hacking). Corruption justified. Sad situation.
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12/24/2016 8:56:01 AM
Doug Vinson
Posts: 102
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Bob, that certainly makes sense. Yeah - as with the deluge of fake news reports on Facebook. So many people are predisposed to eat them up. I will say that it works both ways - that the other half of the population has its blind spots too, that in reality "the people" have long been without control of our country; that in very large measure, our interests are not advanced, despite the lip service given to them by those who primarily only want our votes, while those politicians and the people with the real access to them continue on their merry way.
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12/27/2016 9:48:54 PM
Bob Atkinson
Posts: 294
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Doug Vinson wrote:
Bob, that certainly makes sense. Yeah - as with the deluge of fake news reports on Facebook. So many people are predisposed to eat them up. ......
Doug, the news of "fake news" was a diversion and was fake news in itself. I was referring to everyday broadcasts of CBS, NBC, ABC, CNN, MSNBC, FOX which failed to just report the news and in every way endeavored to sway the public's thinking. Disgusting that we've no mechanism to take away their broadcast licenses, or in the least make them label the screen OPINION. Rather than presentation of "news." I think the whole thing went over your head, and most of the population's too. As for the poem, it is what it is. I've no interest in adjusting its failings. That goes against the grain of the free flow of thought. If i don't like the one i just wrote, i'll just work on that in the next one. Regards Doug, Bob Atkinson
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12/30/2016 1:36:02 PM
Doug Vinson
Posts: 102
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Bob, there is discussion of poems as poetry, and then there are political discussions. I guess this is the best place for the latter on this website, given PoetrySoup's policy on normal commenting.
I fully agree that a lot of opinion is presented as "news." When it comes to things going over people's heads, I think there are greater realities at work that affect the equation, i.e. it's not just half the people that are "drinking the cool aide" - it's the great majority that drink it, to varying degrees, from one source or another. Our system boils down to two sides, and most of us lean one way or the other, and are vulnerable to stuff that is slanted in the same direction.
On the "greater realities" - how much does it really matter who wins the Presidential election? I remember people whining, moaning, really cryin' the blues when G.W. Bush won, celebrities talking about leaving the country... Then Obama got in, and he was literally "The Antichrist" according to a good many people of a fundamentalist bent. Now, the hand-wringing over Bush is pervasive, to say the least. Yet, when all is said and done, how much difference would it really have made had Obama been beaten by Romney, or by McCain, had Kerry or Gore beaten G.W. Bush, had Dole beaten Bill Clinton, had Dukakis beaten H.W. Bush, etc.?
I don't think it's much at all difference, for the vast majority of us. The federal gov't is first and foremost focused on maintaining it's own prestige and power, and where, really, will the "good of the people" appear, in the grand scheme of things, regardless of which party is in the White House?
Trump is certainly an outlier, looking back several decades, and I think he presents more opportunity for at least shaking things up, but here too - four or eight years from now, how different will things be compared to how they'd be if Hillary had won?
My opinion - far less than what many people are feeling like, now.
Cheers, Doug
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