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Forum Home » High Critique » when love forgets, my new poem xx

For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
1/26/2011 3:59:44 AM

Lisa Cole
Posts: 14
When love forgets, you wait at the door/
and wander if you should put on the lingerie he bought you before/
when love forgets, you wait for the nice words/
but the words never come and you never gets heard/

when love forgets, he changes your views/
and looks at the women in their high heeled shoes/
he dosent respond in the way that he should/
together for years, but this doesn't feel good/

His eyes wander fast to every next cleavage/
your small breasts no contest, you feel you're not needed/
you're just a bit part now, he takes you for granted/
should you move on, the seed has been planted/

you want to be loved and cherished and adored/
not to stay at home washing plates, being bored/
you want to go back when he very first knew you/
in a passionate way his eyes used to view you/

relegated now to a place you don't recognise/
and when you laugh the smile doesnt reach your eyes/
the only affection you gets from the cat/
your still a young woman, how sad is that?

but what you don't notice when you leave the house/
are hundreds of suitors waiting to pounce/
they notice your hair and your eyes and your spirit/
your man at home does n't think to fear it/

He's got you where he wants you, a dutiful housewife/
he thinks your happy with your stepford wives life/
But be warned mr. conceited, while you lie to yourself/
She will be the muse of a passionate someone else/

He will love her and cherish her and fulfill her every need/
show her the good things and devour her with greed/
while they lay naked entangled debating the worlds strife/
you should have been loving your stay at home housewife/
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1/26/2011 4:00:50 AM

Lisa Cole
Posts: 14
please leave comments, all read, i think critique helps me to grow xx
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