Poetry Forum

Forum Home » Be Gentle » My Father's Heart

Post here if you're new to receiving a critique and you want "gentle" feedback on your poem. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!

10/15/2014 3:22:03 AM

BE Bailey
Posts: 3

This is the first poem I ever wrote and it sort of came naturally after that. I always loved writing, but I never wrote poems. My dad used to write poems and I started writing my own poems after he passed away three years ago.It became one of the things I love doing. I absolutely love this site. Only joint three days ago.

Please let me know your thoughts on my writing and any advise is welcome as I am pretty new at this.

My Father's Heart

Hearing your heartbeat my ear on your chest
moments like that I loved best
For every heartbeat was special to me
'cause it meant my dad I still get to see

Then I went to bed that night
peacefully next door you were sleeping tight
I never feared lying in that dark room
knowing it will take only one shout and you'll be there soon

Waking up the next day, getting out of bed
I got done for work and that morning not much were said

I remember your words the previous night
"Leave her just now she'll be alright"
A worried mom kept asking what is wrong
'Cause she didn't understand why i looked so down

Off to the doctor you went that day
and in hospital you had to stay
I prayed to God "please just let him be okay"

Hours have passed and your words got less
I told myself that you'll be fine after a couple of days of rest
I never prayed so hard
asking Him "please please just help him God"

I never stopped hoping and believing
That soon with my ear on your chest i will still hear you breathing

Seven days have passed, not a word from you
Imagining you waking up saying "I'm fine how are you?"
In the ICU lying with my ear on your chest
This time only small little breathes
I felt safe so close to your heart
That fatherly love my favorite part

Your words that previous Thursday night
"Leave her just now she'll be alright"
I never knew those words would be your last
'Cause a week after those words... Daddy, you've passed

Lying with my ear on your chest
The moments I used to love best
My world came crashing down
and that moment was never the same
'Cause that moment I realized that MY father's heart will never beat again
edited by Love Writer on 10/15/2014
edited by Love Writer on 10/15/2014

• permalink • reply with quote