Poetry Forum

home recent topics recent posts search faq

Forum Home » High Critique » Crit this! :D Plz

For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
11/6/2010 5:38:53 AM

Craig Watson
Posts: 4
Old romantic

I take you by the hand, and lead you down to the bed,
'I love you baby', and you repeat the words I said,
I whisper in your ear, just what I'm gonna do,
Before this night is over, I'll make your dreams come true.

You didn't have to say it.. 'cause I already knew,
But I'll give you what you want for the trouble you've been through,
Oh my coo, coo, cha choo, forget stress as I caress you,
As I confess that you're the best! And it's just us two.

Time can fly.. I don't care. I can't wait,
I hate being without you, and just lately I feel great!
Now we're cuddled up together.. forever isn't long,
Our passions grow strong.. I love what we've got going on.

'Cause all day long I picture your face,
Your eyes and your body, I could never replace.
With our souls combined, we can sit back and unwind,
And take it one day at a time.

I'm.. dreading the day, when you finally leave,
I'm a realist, it's not about what I believe,
But I'll survive, I'll live.. I won't die,
And no one will ever see the quiet tears that I cry.

However, that's the future.. and this is the now,
Forget the past, if you want, I'll show you how.
So hold on tight Girl, and go with the flow,
You've got a 1st class ticket, VIP, enjoy the show!

I won't ever stop, I won't ever go,
You know it sometimes feels like my heart is gonna blow!
You're the one, the only, great love of my life,
It's just a shame it had to cut me.. like a double edged knife.
permalink • reply with quote

Forum Home » High Critique » Crit this! :D Plz

Powered by AspNetForum © 2006-2010 Jitbit Software