Poetry Forum

home recent topics recent posts search faq

Forum Home » High Critique » The Hunger

For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
7/11/2010 10:50:11 AM

On a cold winter night not long ago,

through thick clouds of fog on an empty street,

shone three lights atop a vacant plateau

held by brothers Jack, John and Joe Petit.

Clearly, you could hear their shuffling feet

as they hurried toward an old house ahead

But at the door was an ominous greet

“I’m hungry, and the hunger must be fed”.

They contemplated whether they should go

They heard the noise, they wanted to retreat

But now outside was pouring heavy snow

So they ventured into the pitch-black suite

The young men walked inside and took a seat,

and it wasn’t long before Jack had said

“ Joe’s gone missing!” their hearts began to beat

“I’m hungry, and the hunger must be fed”.

The brothers jumped up in a panic show

when they slipped on something wet on concrete.

They beheld a pool of blood, no doubt Joe’s.

They rushed to the door, but obtained deceit,

for the door was locked, their nightmare complete.

John went hysterical ‘til night turned dead

Jack was gone, and John was its final treat

“I’m hungry, and the hunger must be fed”.

John had gone mad, overwhelmed with defeat

Then it showed itself, its mouth crimson red

John screamed in agony as it ate meat

“I’m hungry, and the hunger must be fed”.
permalink • reply with quote
7/12/2010 10:02:48 AM

Aleh Barysau
Posts: 9
artistically conveyed, reminds me of Edgar Allan Poe`s things
edited by Oleg on 7/12/2010
permalink • reply with quote

Forum Home » High Critique » The Hunger

Powered by AspNetForum © 2006-2010 Jitbit Software