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Forum Home » High Critique » Thoughts in my Head

For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
9/5/2013 1:09:23 PM

Gabe Shelly
Posts: 95
I sat down and sneered to myself as I thought about
'I have a dream…'

I shake my head.

In the world, volcanoes release more carbon monoxide
than man can produce, and as a glass being filled with water
it rises to the brim. But if you add the amount made by
man the water begins to spill out of the cup. Now if the glass
were Nature…

World hunger, disease, hatred between the races these things
will never go away. There is no respect, empathy, or understanding
between all individuals—

I sat back in my chair and took a deep breath.

I danced with a big, black lady once—
I mean—a true BBW.
She was six ft. tall with boobs the size of midgets—
Diddledum and Diddledee…
She wore high heels, and they pushed against my neck—
a true reflection—
it was a love never met…

But where

Maybe we need another Great War so we all can band together in
a common cause.

I shake my head again.

We would just go back to the way we were after.

What we need
is ‘motivation’…like a young man dancing with a tall, big
chested lady. ‘Understanding’ that somethings are not going to
happen…

I lean back in my chair once more.

I’d love to tell Jesse Jackson he’s twenty-five to fifteen percent white—
most blacks in America are


Thoughts in my Head
9/4/’13
edited by Gabe on 9/5/2013
edited by Gabe on 9/5/2013
edited by Gabe on 9/8/2013
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